(no subject)

[sassy_assassin]

Who: Sara
Broadcast: Video!
Action: On the Marsiva // The Twin Roses
When: Now!

[ The feed starts with Sara adjusting the camera and pursing her lips, then flashing a waxy smile that doesn't go anywhere near her eyes ]

Hi, so, I'm going to need you to go ahead and let me out of here and return me to my ship. I mean, we could do this the long way, but you really, really won't like that. It will be long. And painful. Possibly over days. The thing I'm going to assume you didn't realize about me before you decided to make this incredibly idiotic move is that I don't take kindly to cages. They're not really my thing, and I have a particular prejudice against the people who want to put me in them.

But hey.

[ She puts her hands up in a conciliatory manner ]

Maybe I'm reading this entire situation the wrong way. Just come and get me, we'll talk, and I won't even break your fingers for it. Promise.

Okay? Okay. Chop chop!

[ She rolls her eyes, sighs, and switches off the camera ]

****

[ some time later, Sara shows up in a burst of confetti on The Twin Roses. Hi friends! ]

Comments

[outstandingbalance]

So I'm fighting you in this question.

[sassy_assassin]

Sorry, I thought that was apparent. I don't have enough friends to set you up with someone else.

[outstandingbalance]

You enhanced?

[sassy_assassin]

Oh, I'm all natural.

[ obviously talking about her skills but also the inference is apparent ]

[outstandingbalance]

Then hand to hand is just fine.

[sassy_assassin]

Great. It's a date. We'll figure something out once I'm sprung from this place.

[outstandingbalance]

Sounds fair.

[sassy_assassin]

So, anything else you want to share with the newbie, Natasha?

[outstandingbalance]

That depends. Have you heard from anyone you know?

[sassy_assassin]

Nope. Apparently there were people here, but they aren't now, so that doesn't do me any good.

[outstandingbalance]

In that case, I'd say make some friends. You might not think so now, but you'll want them later.

[sassy_assassin]

Sounds somewhat ominous. Luckily, I've been taking teamwork lessons the last few years.

[outstandingbalance]

It might be a little ominous.

[sassy_assassin]

What's the worst thing you've experienced here?

[outstandingbalance]

Depends what you consider the worst.

[Having your past dragged out on display?]

We saw a planet destroyed. Helped with the evacuation and watched with the survivors as a meteor turned their home to molten soup.

That was pretty bad.

[sassy_assassin]

Just trying to determine the scale we're working on here. Planet-killing is a pretty big scale, but not something I'm totally unused to.

I just wanted to make sure it wasn't like, you got a regular coke when you ordered diet.

[outstandingbalance]

I did think I was getting to go on a cruise before the planet was destroyed?

[sassy_assassin]

It might have saved you. There's only so much all-you-can-eat buffet lobster you can have, you know.

[outstandingbalance]

I had plans for that cruise.

[Plans that involved barely leaving her stateroom with Bucky.]

But no. Bad around here's a little worse than getting your steak overcooked.

[sassy_assassin]

Do you know anything about these?

[ taps her augment ]

Because I have to say, I'm not a fan of the concept.

[outstandingbalance]

Yeah. That gets worse.

[sassy_assassin]

How?

[outstandingbalance]

They're annoying when they work right; they're worse when they don't.

Though just how accidental the malfunctions are is open to debate.

[sassy_assassin]

What kind of malfunctions are you talking about here?

[outstandingbalance]

It varies. Mood shifts. Headaches. Compulsions. Transformations.

The possibilities are endless.