driftfleet | and then the fleet was banned from garbagetown

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and then the fleet was banned from garbagetown

Who: Taako, Lup, and you!
Broadcast: N/A
Action: Planetside, Iskaulit
When: Now-ish!

Picture this - a planet that serves as the junkyard for the rest of the universe. Towns and cities are littered among the trash, having grown up wherever space provided. In one corner of this garbage-filled world is a city, not a massive city like Neverwinter or a small podunk thing, but a city tried and true. Which means it has a town square where all the main traffic flows through on any given day; bakers and merchants and workers, miners and salvagers and travelers, a myriad of people all going about their typical boring days.

And then two ostentatiously ugly costumes just start floating through the middle of it all. People scatter because costumes that look like Shaggy Bear consumed Gloomy Bear's Soul and Big Bird had a Bad Bender and Never Recovered should not be floating through the middle of town. They carve a path and set themselves up, swaying gently in the breeze, in the very center of the square where all can see. Horrified expressions mix with curiosity as the costumes hang there, doing nothing, and then slowly people start to gather.

Which is when Taako, cloaked in invisibility, looks over at Lup and smirks. It's show time. You ready?

And Lup is definitely ready; the levitation drops on the costumes as they hang, and there's suddenly a streak of red-hot light that crosses the plaza from the building on which they stand and strikes the costumes. Immediately there's an explosion of fire, spreading outwards- not dangerous to the onlookers, thanks to the height at which they hang, but definitely enough to scatter whatever remaining nerves they had. When the worst of the initial fire fades away, the costumes remain hanging, but are now on fire, feathers and fur sizzling and curling, ash beginning to dot the earth below.

It's Taako's turn and he sets the costumes to waving in a ghostly wind as they grow, the fire growing with it. The fabric shudders with the strain of it, looming up and over the crowd menacingly as growing bits of charred feather and shag upholstery disintegrate in the flames. It's harmless, of course, but the crowd doesn't know that and they start shrieking, backing away from the display. Now that the scene's been set, Lup calls out to the lingering onlookers, still just out of sight: "What's up, Trash Town? Or whatever you call this place. No need to be scared! Your new fashion overlords are here to help open your eyes to the travesty we've found you all in."

The Enlarge cast and the concentration over, the costumes hang like Ghost Rider up in the air, and Taako can barely keep it together as he sees the people below start looking for the source of the voice. "We are here in our fabulous benevolence to aid you and provide succor to your sadly lacking closets. But tribute is demanded or a curse shall be upon you. We have sent our emissaries who shall now appear before you!"

He's always had this showmanship thing in the bag and Taako Blinks out of existence at the same time Lup casts Dimension Door. It takes him a little longer to get where he needs to go, but the Ethereal Plane is so wonky on this plane. Still, he makes it in time for the grand entrance - the two of them popping back into reality, back to back, wearing their favorite outfits from their earlier heist and with Disguise Self burning over both of them. They look even more radiant than usual; and a little more celestial thanks to the light from the burning costumes overhead and a little extra light granted by Prestidigitation and Dancing Lights beaming behind them like sparks and rays of sunlight.

A low murmur starts up around them as the townspeople survey the scene, uncertain of what exactly to do about it. The murmur grows in volume as seconds pass. Lup continues, "Turn away from your wicked ways, and destroy all sinful manifestations of fabric that rain down from the sky, or a plague of supreme ugly will fall upon you!"

She wiggles her fingers at a random onlooker, some woman who'd been sneering skeptically at them, and suddenly an illusion appears over her- her skin turns to the nasty shag carpet design. She shrieks at once and flees the crowd. The murmur becomes a buzz and a few of the people at the front begin throwing credits and coins their way, but more are scooting backwards, not sure what to do.

Lup waves a hand in front of herself, and a Mage Hand glides along the ground to scoop up the discarded credits, then brandishes a bag, glittery and bedazzled (as only befits a fashion god) and gestures pointedly towards it. "Anyone else feel like being spared?"

"The bigger the donation, the higher the salvation," Taako chimes in, whipping out a similar bag just in a different color.

There's a long pause as the residents debate their options, but another confused wail from the woman down the road gets a few people moving, dropping coins into the bags and fleeing the scene. They're not asking for much, they're not animals, but a little bit (from a lot of people) goes a long way!

Option A: Were you in the crowd when this all went down? Want to talk to Taako and Lup? They're both walking through the crowd now, so this is your chance to see the face-twins in action.

Option B: Is flying solo more your style? Which of them do you want to talk to: Taako or Lup?

Some time passes as they collect their bounty, and eventually a small group of more serious, burly viewers branch off and vanish into a shop. Lup watches them carefully, keeping her smile frozen in place as she gently shoos away a little girl trying to give her a single credit, because she's definitely not stealing from children. Those guys are probably going for weapons. Hey, Taako? I think that's our cue to make an exit.

Taako nods in agreement and tips his hat to the patrons nearby. He's gotten more than he expected today, so now it's time, as Lup says, for a flashy exit. There's no point in subtlety when the villagers are going for pitchforks. He puts his hands together and starts casting, light emanating from his fingers as he summons the only exit worth summoning. The light causes people to draw back from him and in their place, a beautiful, mulleted, rainbow-colored phantasm of a binicorn appears.

"Yo boss. It time to go?"

"You know it, Garyl. Lup! Let's hit it!"

There's an audible, delighted gasp from Lup, and without hesitation she hops onto the binicorn's back with Taako. With a loud whinny Garyl rears up on his hind legs, giving them one final opportunity for a dramatic pose (which they of course indulge) before Taako urges Garyl off at full speed, leaving behind them a rainbow of light. Before they vanish from sight, Lup, one arm wound around Taako's waist, blows the befuddled crowd a kiss. And just like that, they're gone again, with the now-armed local guard giving a futile chase behind them.

Option C: Catch them after their daring escape, laughing their asses off outside of the danger zone, or on the Iskaulit, perhaps over drinks?

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I'm not, I'm not.

[She laughs lightly, shaking her head as if to dissolve the wave of... not quite misery but more of a sad nostalgia, because if he knew who she was he'd know he was part of that help, something she'd desperately needed, that he'd been there for her the way she'd always been for him. It's such a double-edged sword. If they hadn't helped to steel her heart that night, maybe she'd have stayed with them in the months that followed. Maybe she'd have forgotten everything right alongside them, and it would have been bad but at least she'd have had Taako. At least Barry would have had some support as he worked towards gaining their trust as a lich. They'd have an advantage on that because Taako would know her, lich or otherwise.

No cave, no silverpoint, no umbrella. She'd have been with them. Things would have been very, very different.

His fingers had brushed against hers when he'd taken the bottle, and it hurts, that she can't take his hand and hold it, that she can't tell him he's not alone. It cuts deep like the dagger that killed her. But the alcohol tingles pleasantly, so she's able to smile when she accepts the glass.]

I'm gonna be weird for a while, Taako, I can't lie. And you don't know what's weird and what's normal, so it's all gonna be weird, but just. I'll have moments! Moments like this. Not your fault. You can ignore 'em, it's fine.

[And it's not fine, not exactly, but his not knowing is why it hurts. She's learning how to deal with that, but it'll take some time.]

I'd rather you just focus on the fun.

[And you don't know what's weird and what's normal.

That's what bothers him the most. She acts like he should know, but he doesn't. It sticks in his craw and leaves a bad taste, which he currently tries to chase away with a big hit of vodka. It make the buzz more pleasant, but also louder; adverse effects all around.

Taako hums as she speaks, a low, wuiet, contemplative sound. It's like she reaching for a connection that doesn't exist. She keeps trying to reassure him even if she has no skin in this game other than their faces being the same. She's worried for him - or is it herself? Every time he pulls back, it's like he's just stabbed her in the gut.

The why is obvious and clear, but his mind can't grasp it. The answer always slips just a little bit further from him whenever he looks at it and it gives him a headache. Taako finally lets out a deep sigh and rests his head against the back of his chair, sliding down into it.]

Yeah I'm gonna do that because this is some good vodka and thinking about anything beyond beating you in figuring out that mountain thing is just past me at this point.

[A lie, but one that maintains their equilibrium. It lets them stay at a comfortable distance and it's the best he can do for her right now.]

[There's a long, quiet moment as she simply nods, content to leave it at that; she nibbles at the last of her wings, licking her fingers as she polishes them off. His tone tells her that he's thinking about it, and she can't really apologize for that. She wants him to think about it, sometimes. She wants it to bother him so he doesn't entirely forget that something's missing. Maybe it's a little cruel of her, but it's lonely, suffering alone. And, selfishly? She wants him to care about her, even in an arbitrary, confused sort of way. It's something, which is a whole lot more than nothing.

Now what, though.

....Ah.

She stretches across the table and grabs the remaining vodka bottle off him, taking one last swig before slapping a couple of coins on the table and standing up - wobbling, because whoa, yep, she's real drunk - and lifts the bottle over him so it's above his head but just out of reach.]

Well, come on, then! We bought the bottle, so we can take it with us. Let's go have a look before we pass out, or before I accidently breathe fire instead of detecting shit.

[He can't help but laugh at her as she wobbles her way upright. Drunky gonna be drunk and apparently try to play keep away with him. He's no Agnes, Lup, and he pushes himself up out of the chair and--

Nope. He tries push himself up and nearly misses. Second attempt and he's his feet, grabbing for the bottle. ]

If you mess up your spells that badly, we're gonna have a lot more trouble than just fire.

[Because it probably means he's gonna fuck up too and end up banishing himself to another plane probably.]

Let's find this mountain!

[She giggles and prances away from his hands, taking the bottle with her and heading for the door. It's a good thing they've drunk a lot of it already, or it'd be spilling all over the floor. The bartender is watching them leave, probably thanking their lucky stars to see them go before they start getting too rowdy to deal with.

By the time she gets to the exit door, she has to lean against the wall to avoid falling over, but it surely means that Taako is in a similar state- they'd taken turns with the booze, their bodies have similar genetics and physique. If he wants the bottle for his turn, he'll have to keep up, and all she has going for her is the head start.]

Hurry up, or I'll get to it first, dingus!

Goofus, do you even know where you're--

[He has to stop to keep himself from weaving too much and frowns. This is not attractive behavior!

But it is drunk behavior so screw it!

He lurches forward again toward her, going for either the wall or her, evidences ends up in his way.]

You're going?

[He finishes as he only slightly crashes into the wall behind her, snickering at himself.]

Kinda! And hell yeah I'm goin'. Gotta see this shit.

[Maybe the keep-away game with the vodka will also keep-away her inevitable messy sprawl across the floor, at least until they get there. She's got a vague idea of the area it might be in, surely that's good enough.

She leans on the wall just long enough to feel stable again, then pushes off - wooooobbles - and pitches one fist in the air, walking forward with the air of drunken confidence.]

Iiiit is. This way! Nature sense is tingling!

[He snickers and pushes off after her, trying to walk straight and failing miserably and yet still meandering in the direction he wants to go. He'll get there, just not as efficiently. He's in the middle zone between pleasantly drunk and about-to-trip-over-his-own-feet drunk, so nothing can really get him down.]

Do you even have a nature sense? You're not a dryad.

Don't you sass me son, I will become a dryad to find this shit if I have to. There's a mountain in our future.

[She's determined on the best of days sober, but when she's drunk? No force in the universe can stop her. The hallway is a long series of checking a door, staring blearily at the contents for a long moment, calling "nooooooope" down the hall to him, and continuing onward. This might take a while, but then, where the heck else is there to be tonight?]

I'd like to see you try with all your burninating the countryside.

[He's on the opposite side of the hall, checking doors like she is. But honestly, he has no idea what they're looking for other than "mountain." And these rooms seem kinda tiny? Or is it just because he can't focus?

Could be both?

Either way, there's no mountain here so he moves on to the next room and the next one after that. He's doesn't call out when he's found a failure, but just keeps sassing her instead.]

That's kinda antithetical? Anti? Nature. It's not what nature do.

Bullshit, nature does it all the time. Y'ever see lightning hit a dry caravan? Lights up as good as any Fireball spell.

[You'd think someone would put up a sign directing people to the mountain. On a spaceship. Like, that's a major feature to advertise, in her mind, especially for the times that people must get cabin fever.]

That's lightning, Lup. [He yawns and checks another room. Nope, just some empty space. Wait no - there are tables and art supplies in here.

....Nooooope.]

And aren't dryads about the preservation of nature? Not blowing shit up.

Lightning is nature's fire, my dude. And sometimes burninating the country means starting, uhhhhh, fresh! New life from the ashes! Like a phoenix. With leaves. A leafix.

[Oh hey, it's the forge again. She didn't recognize the door in her tipsy state. Surely that means they're on the right track, right...?]

[Isn't fire nature's fire?

Hell, he's too drunk to think too much on this. It's hard enough just keeping himself from swaying on his feet.

Phoenixes make him think of something else, though. Something that is sorta-kinda his fault and he doesn't want to think about that. So instead, he pushes away from the latest room and wobbles on over to her.]

A leafix, huh? Is that what you wanna be?

[It can be both!! also shut up

Lup laughs and bumps her elbow against him once he's close enough, very nearly taking another swig of the bottle before she catches herself. Not yet, not yet. Gotta get there first.]

Pretty sure I'd have some sort of death wish if I did that, considering the whole. Y'know. Burninating. Bad idea to be flammable. Anyway, I don't need to become anything. I'm already amazing.

[And she's already a phoenix; she's died and risen again over a dozen times. Even now if she dies she'll spring up from her body as a soul on fire. If it didn't have all those ugly attached downsides - lich mode sucks sometimes - it would be amazing as hell.

"I saw seven birds." It's still weirdly fitting. She thinks about that one, sometimes.]

Right, amazing - except for the whole "nature sense" thing.

[He pinches her elbow when she gets him and then looks past her into the next room. Grass? Check.

Mountain? Nope.]

...Are those foxes or am I really drunk?

[Lup peers inside the room over his shoulder, squinting. It... sure looks like there's something moving around in there. May or may not be a fox.]

Uhhhhh, maybe, but what's really dunking my head is whyyyy is there snow? On a spaceship? Does this place have everything?

[She takes a few steps inside to check for sure and immediately spins back around, just about crashing into the wall in her haste to move away from the fluff smothering the floor.]

Nooooope nope nope, that's cold! No thanks!

[He watches her go test the snow and reaches in after her, taking a pinch of the stuff off the ground. Nope that shit is real and very cold and he quickly drops it. Where the hell is it coming from?

Taako blinks blearily up at the "sky" of the room and there isn't anything from up there. There's no specific power source here either. It's like the whole room is just enchanted to have snow forever. So there's just snow - indoors - like it's normal.

He hiccups and stays outside because he'll let Lup handle the actual cold shit, no thanks.]

Huh. So snow and a mountain, but not together. I guess we can't shred it on the slopes.

I mean, if you want to go skiing or something, we could just find a mountain down on the planet. There's a spell for that.

[There's a spell for damn near anything, technically speaking, if you can cast at a high enough level.

She takes a moment to focus, trying to make a quick Arcana check in the room, aaaaaand nope. She's way too drunk to suss out where the snow is coming from.]

It's, uhhhh. Elemental. Which, yeah, obvious. That's all I got.

[Just gonna nudge them back out the door and close it so the critters don't get out, and so the cold stays in.]

[Sure he could shred it down on the planet, but the likelihood of getting shredded himself on the mounds of metal garbage makes that prospect infinitely less appealing.]

Eh, pass.

[He'll let her try to figure out the room. To him it was "magic" and he left it at that. Anything more he wants to save for where it matters.

Which means he's lazily moving on to the next room, which isn't nearly as exciting as the snow globe they just left.]

There's just no organization is there.

Doesn't look like it. When I'm sober maybe I'll do a road map or something. I do not wanna have to do this all over again next time I go looking for stuff.

[Maybe she'll even be nice and post it up somewhere. This is getting a little silly.

The room she checks next is just straight up empty, as is the one that follows. Which means either they took the wrong path, or the damn thing is so isolated it's on the other end of the ship...]

At least we'll know where all the useless junk is the next time we need it.

[...Speaking of, shouldn't there be one already? Taako pauses and glances around as if he'd magically come upon one lying about. Nothing of the sort is here, but he can't imagine that these people would live with such a terrible disorganized mess and not at least attempt to map it out.

He moves over to the other side of the hall and starts checking again - nope, nope, nope, garden, nope, nope-- what the hell? He squints into the dim light and blinks through the haze of alcohol. That looks like a mountainous(?) shape?]

Hey Lup? I think this is it.

Oooh, lemme see-

[She's quick to scamper over, though she regrets it immediately and catches herself on the doorway, half-bumping into him as she tries not to fall over into the room. Once the whole place stops spinning, she gets a proper look, glancing up- and up-]

Whoa, shit. They weren't kidding.

[It's not a huge mountain, by any means - they're still in the middle of a spaceship, after all - but it's clear that multiple rooms in all directions had been bent and combined into one enormous area, making space for at the very least a really big hill. Rocks, grass, trees, even a little stream trickling through- it looks like someone dumped a whole nature park right down out of nowhere.

She crouches down, pressing both palms in the grass closest to the entrance. It's lush and cool to the touch, fresh and pliant beneath her fingers. It's not fake grass like they saw on a few of the more modern worlds they'd visited, and it doesn't ooze magic the way conjured earth would.]

This is natural. Somebody actually grew this here. How the hell did they do that without sun?

Fuck if I know.

[Because he's been trying to do Arcana checks on it and got nothing but "yo, this is the earth, what are you doing?" It's like it naturally just sprung up out of the metal of the ship. Taako isn't exactly rushing into this room because he doesn't really trust it. But the air smells like it should and the mountain(ish) shape looks real. The closest anyone could actually get to literally growing a mountain in space would be if a god rewrote the code of the earth to do it, or some other elementa--

Oh.

Taako snorts.]

Do you think these Atroma dicks have enough power to trap Elementals here on this plane?

What?

[She squints at the grass again, feeling it out with more than just her hands this time, and- oh, shit. Sure enough, there it is. Fey-esque magic, definitely elemental, a mix of... multiple types?]

Earth, water... there's wind magic in the air, too. Kinda faint, but it feels like a long-term enchantment. That's wild- I've never seen them work together like this before.

[Usually you can only get one at a time going, unless they were cast over multiple time periods... or they had multiple casters. Maybe there's a couple of druids in the fleet? Or were, at the very least.]

Well, you live on a ship with god, so it shouldn't be all that surprising.

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