and then the fleet was banned from garbagetown

[necromanswers]

Who: Taako, Lup, and you!
Broadcast: N/A
Action: Planetside, Iskaulit
When: Now-ish!


Picture this - a planet that serves as the junkyard for the rest of the universe. Towns and cities are littered among the trash, having grown up wherever space provided. In one corner of this garbage-filled world is a city, not a massive city like Neverwinter or a small podunk thing, but a city tried and true. Which means it has a town square where all the main traffic flows through on any given day; bakers and merchants and workers, miners and salvagers and travelers, a myriad of people all going about their typical boring days.

And then two ostentatiously ugly costumes just start floating through the middle of it all. People scatter because costumes that look like Shaggy Bear consumed Gloomy Bear's Soul and Big Bird had a Bad Bender and Never Recovered should not be floating through the middle of town. They carve a path and set themselves up, swaying gently in the breeze, in the very center of the square where all can see. Horrified expressions mix with curiosity as the costumes hang there, doing nothing, and then slowly people start to gather.

Which is when Taako, cloaked in invisibility, looks over at Lup and smirks. It's show time. You ready?

And Lup is definitely ready; the levitation drops on the costumes as they hang, and there's suddenly a streak of red-hot light that crosses the plaza from the building on which they stand and strikes the costumes. Immediately there's an explosion of fire, spreading outwards- not dangerous to the onlookers, thanks to the height at which they hang, but definitely enough to scatter whatever remaining nerves they had. When the worst of the initial fire fades away, the costumes remain hanging, but are now on fire, feathers and fur sizzling and curling, ash beginning to dot the earth below.

It's Taako's turn and he sets the costumes to waving in a ghostly wind as they grow, the fire growing with it. The fabric shudders with the strain of it, looming up and over the crowd menacingly as growing bits of charred feather and shag upholstery disintegrate in the flames. It's harmless, of course, but the crowd doesn't know that and they start shrieking, backing away from the display. Now that the scene's been set, Lup calls out to the lingering onlookers, still just out of sight: "What's up, Trash Town? Or whatever you call this place. No need to be scared! Your new fashion overlords are here to help open your eyes to the travesty we've found you all in."

The Enlarge cast and the concentration over, the costumes hang like Ghost Rider up in the air, and Taako can barely keep it together as he sees the people below start looking for the source of the voice. "We are here in our fabulous benevolence to aid you and provide succor to your sadly lacking closets. But tribute is demanded or a curse shall be upon you. We have sent our emissaries who shall now appear before you!"

He's always had this showmanship thing in the bag and Taako Blinks out of existence at the same time Lup casts Dimension Door. It takes him a little longer to get where he needs to go, but the Ethereal Plane is so wonky on this plane. Still, he makes it in time for the grand entrance - the two of them popping back into reality, back to back, wearing their favorite outfits from their earlier heist and with Disguise Self burning over both of them. They look even more radiant than usual; and a little more celestial thanks to the light from the burning costumes overhead and a little extra light granted by Prestidigitation and Dancing Lights beaming behind them like sparks and rays of sunlight.

A low murmur starts up around them as the townspeople survey the scene, uncertain of what exactly to do about it. The murmur grows in volume as seconds pass. Lup continues, "Turn away from your wicked ways, and destroy all sinful manifestations of fabric that rain down from the sky, or a plague of supreme ugly will fall upon you!"

She wiggles her fingers at a random onlooker, some woman who'd been sneering skeptically at them, and suddenly an illusion appears over her- her skin turns to the nasty shag carpet design. She shrieks at once and flees the crowd. The murmur becomes a buzz and a few of the people at the front begin throwing credits and coins their way, but more are scooting backwards, not sure what to do.

Lup waves a hand in front of herself, and a Mage Hand glides along the ground to scoop up the discarded credits, then brandishes a bag, glittery and bedazzled (as only befits a fashion god) and gestures pointedly towards it. "Anyone else feel like being spared?"

"The bigger the donation, the higher the salvation," Taako chimes in, whipping out a similar bag just in a different color.

There's a long pause as the residents debate their options, but another confused wail from the woman down the road gets a few people moving, dropping coins into the bags and fleeing the scene. They're not asking for much, they're not animals, but a little bit (from a lot of people) goes a long way!

Option A: Were you in the crowd when this all went down? Want to talk to Taako and Lup? They're both walking through the crowd now, so this is your chance to see the face-twins in action.

Option B: Is flying solo more your style? Which of them do you want to talk to: Taako or Lup?

Some time passes as they collect their bounty, and eventually a small group of more serious, burly viewers branch off and vanish into a shop. Lup watches them carefully, keeping her smile frozen in place as she gently shoos away a little girl trying to give her a single credit, because she's definitely not stealing from children. Those guys are probably going for weapons. Hey, Taako? I think that's our cue to make an exit.

Taako nods in agreement and tips his hat to the patrons nearby. He's gotten more than he expected today, so now it's time, as Lup says, for a flashy exit. There's no point in subtlety when the villagers are going for pitchforks. He puts his hands together and starts casting, light emanating from his fingers as he summons the only exit worth summoning. The light causes people to draw back from him and in their place, a beautiful, mulleted, rainbow-colored phantasm of a binicorn appears.

"Yo boss. It time to go?"

"You know it, Garyl. Lup! Let's hit it!"

There's an audible, delighted gasp from Lup, and without hesitation she hops onto the binicorn's back with Taako. With a loud whinny Garyl rears up on his hind legs, giving them one final opportunity for a dramatic pose (which they of course indulge) before Taako urges Garyl off at full speed, leaving behind them a rainbow of light. Before they vanish from sight, Lup, one arm wound around Taako's waist, blows the befuddled crowd a kiss. And just like that, they're gone again, with the now-armed local guard giving a futile chase behind them.


Option C: Catch them after their daring escape, laughing their asses off outside of the danger zone, or on the Iskaulit, perhaps over drinks?

Comments

After everything

[abracafcku]

[The getaway hadn't been the cleanest, but it had worked. Law enforcement was slow to react, but he hadn't expected the people to get weapons and chase them out of town as fast as they did. He hadn't really had time to think too much, but that was the point for him - not thinking for a bit. Now they were safely back on the Iskaulit and sharing a drink in one of the bars. Taako had his hat off, thrown onto an empty chair and his head back, laughing. It felt good to just let loose without consequence. It wasn't like he was ever going back to that city and there were so many more he could still hit.]

Pan! That was almost too easy!

[necromanswers]

[Lup's already got her face buried in her arms against the table, shoulders shaking; she'd barely held it together the whole way back, checking behind them to make sure they weren't followed all the way to the fleet, and now she's just losing her shit.]

The looks on their faces... h-hahaha, oh gods, I'll remember that one for years. Goooood good times...

[abracafcku]

[He passes her a cocktail glass and then raises his own. Time for soe vodka, baby. He feels like he's earned this one.]

That was the most fun I've had in a long time, Lup. Thanks for that.

[And the money. There was a lot of money involved in this.]

I wonder what other cities on this podunk planet we can hit before they start catching on.

[necromanswers]

[There's no hesitation; she lifts herself up, accepts the class, and clinks it against Taako's, her free hand wiping a tear from the corner of her eye from laughing too hard the whole escape. She hasn't laughed like that since... well, probably since he did that thong dance for her. Since the day she left.

Gods but she needed this.]

Thank you. We could try the other side of the planet first, there's bound to be loads of places like that.

[abracafcku]

Yeah but the outfit has to be the same amount of horrific... [Taako snorts in amusement] What am I saying? Everything they own falls from the sky. I'm sure there has to be more shitty fashion somewhere.

But we are so not paying for it, so I hope you still have that chest.

[necromanswers]

We can try a different heist, too- we're bound to find something to criticize once we scout them out.

[It's sort of a passtime for them, after all- sassing the populace of wherever they end up about one thing or another, if it fails to meet their unreasonable standards. Taako's a bit less forgiving than she is, but they did grow up doing this sort of thing.]

We've got the chest for a guaranteed 60 days, and after that it gets a bit twitchy. Might want to see if we can track down enough components to build a few backups for the future, while we're here.

[abracafcku]

The fashion here is so bad.

[He's complaining, but he's also having fun. It's been a long time since he could relax and being a giant dick here apparently earns him more money, so he's in the perfect place for him - ignoring the whole premise of getting here.]

Shouldn't be in the system that long as far as I've heard. They say it's about an "Earth" month, so I'm assuming it's about the same as Faerun.

But sure. While the heat's on, might as well go component salvaging. I'm burning through leather and feathers like crazy.

[necromanswers]

You got a list of stuff you need? I've been scrapping a lot in my off-time, since blasting the trash piles is good practice. If you're extra nice to me maybe I'll find some for you.

[She knows most of his spells, but not necessarily the requirements, at least not for the ones they don't share. And she's noticed how twitchy he can get when she reveals how much she knows about him, magic or otherwise. Better to ask than to show her cards.]

[abracafcku]

[Yeah, he does, but when it comes to spells and which ones he's got enough for and for which ones he still needs components, he's still a little too paranoid for that. There are some that he still needs pieces for - an ointment he'll have to commission eventually, some particular varieties of stone, scrapings and metal dusts - but those are for his higher level spells. And the only one he's absolutely certain she's attained ingredients for is one of his personal favorites.]

If you find some more of that giant octopus tentacle you used in the arena the other day? I wouldn't mind taking some off your hands.

A

[lord_wizard]

Felix observes most of this rather bizarre spectacle from the edges of the crowd, having been drawn out from his own browsing of the junk heaps for parts or other possible treasures by the shouts of alarm and awe from the assembled townspeople. While he isn't precisely sure what is going on, he knows magic when he sees it. Frankly speaking, it's one of the most ostentatious uses of magic he's seen in some time, and for that fact alone he's impressed and fascinated. What he feels vaguely unsure about, however, is the use of all that power for simple grift. Not that he hasn't embellished his own fortune telling with a little light show here and there for effect, but he tells himself that isn't remotely the same thing. Nor is it the point.

By the time the pair make their way towards him, he's standing with his arms crossed and looking rather stoic, compared to the confused locals around him. He wears a long gold overcoat, understated for him in that is has no embroidery or embellishments, over a red waistcoat and black trousers. His earrings are still on but his rings have been left behind on the ship; having at least for now learned his lesson on being robbed. Especially when this junk planet reminds him so keenly of a certain waystation.

He waits until one of them is close before he speaks, voice pitched low enough to keep his as much between him and them as he can.

"What, exactly, was all that?"

[necromanswers]

Well, hello, look at this swanky fellow. Lup very quickly checks him over and immediately gets the sense that he's not counted amongst the awestruck residents of the area; his expression and body language makes it clear enough. She's not sure if that means he's not so easily impressed, or if he's actually in the fleet, but either way it hardly matters. He doesn't look like he's about to interfere, and that'd be her only concern.

She shrugs a shoulder, flashing a smile in his direction. "What, it didn't speak for itself? That's disappointing."

[abracafcku]

"With style like that, it looks like he's already an adherrent. Don't worry your pretty face, my dude, we're just spreading the good word."

And cashing in whole doing it. Taako leans away a moment and gratefully accepts another donation, before snapping back to the conversation. As long as the con is going, he isn't about to break character. And it didn't look like this guy was going to call authorities, so they were cool - for now.

[lord_wizard]

There was only one major reason not to call too much attention to the con, and that was that Felix was more than aware of what mobs were capable of when riled. He did not want to be the cause of inspiring the crowd to violence. It wasn't worth whatever petty cash these two were taking.

"I think there are a number of ways I could interpret your performance, stylish or no. This has less to do with your intentions, however, and more to do with your methods."

He avoids saying the word magic for now.

[necromanswers]

"What, do you have something against divine providence?" Her tone is casual, but she's eyeing him over in as subtle a manner as she can manage, since he apparently knows what's up. "Sometimes a bit of flair and flash is what gets the job done most effectively."

Perhaps not efficiently, but they're here to let loose, not cut corners.

[abracafcku]

"And with the most fun." Because that's what they're really here for - entertainment. Not of the masses or of their shadowy overlords, but for themselves. A bored Taako is a dangerous Taako, and this is the best thing he could think of to keep himself from going stir-crazy.

"But as emissaries of the fashion gods, it's just our duty to fulfill their will using the tools they put in our fingertips." Nice and loud for everyone to hear. Let them remember that they're supposedly here as divine help, to bring about a fashion revolution or something. This guy seems to know what's up, and he's even willing to play along for now. If his threads weren't any indication, he is definitely not from here. "So, where do you hail from, stranger?"

[lord_wizard]

"And I'm certain they appreciate the effort, though I do hope that the curse they've placed on that unbeliever was temporary," he replies, giving both of them a pointed glance each. Tricking the annemer was one thorny-enough subject as it was, but the one thing that he kept butting up against - the thing currently making tension coil it's way up his back - was the confusing wailing of the woman that had by now mostly faded into the distance. Using magic on others was something that didn't entirely inspire the same horror in him that it used to, but that only extended so far. If he couldn't be sure the effect would pass, he'd see to reversing it himself.

"Not here," Felix confirms, to Taako, with a small smile. "I doubt you've heard of it, in any case, but as of late I'm from the Goldstone." He produces his communicator by way of demonstration.

[necromanswers]

Lup sets free a brief laugh behind one of her hands, waving off a nervous woman trying to give away far more than is necessary. "Don't worry about that. So long as the gods are properly mollified, all punishment shall be temporary."

It's also just an illusion- the noise probably died down because the woman felt at her face and didn't feel any fur. She'll just look hilarious for a while.

C for cat for both

[shroudedsecrets]

[Whenever the pair return to the First Breath after their escapades, a certain space cat will come loping down the hall to greet them.

Well, rather, Kova stops a few feet away when he sees them together and make a noise for attention. Attend him.]

[abracafcku]

[Taako is barely restraining his laughter as they come back to the First Breath to drop off his part of their haul. He wasn't going to go carting around all that money in his satchel after all, and he figures a quick something on his ship is a good first stop before they run over to the Iskaulit for the real celebration.

Or it would have been until he sees Kova loping down the hall toward him. Right! He needs to get food ready.]

Hey there, little dude. You already hungry?

[necromanswers]

[Lup's quick to set free a delighted little noise as the cat approaches. She could have waited for Taako in the shuttle since this is just a pit stop, but it's stuffy and small and kind of sad in there, so no thanks. The First Breath has a cat on the other hand, and now she's glad she followed along.

She closes the distance between them, happy to attend to his need for attention (and pets) while Taako gets his food sorted.]

Hellooooooo! Awww, lookit you. You look like you were waiting for us.

[shroudedsecrets]

[This is acceptable. Kova makes a happier sound, looking up with a twitch of his ears in acknowledgement toward Taako, while gently winding himself around Lup's legs when she moves closer.

He is very pleased. They are so lively! So attentive. It's great, he wants more.]

[abracafcku]

Huh.

[He straightens as Kova winds around Lup's legs and glances over at her. The cat is extremely friendly with her, too. He starts heading for the kitchen.]

Guess you've been coming on board when I'm not here?

[necromanswers]

I wouldn't say it like that, I don't do it all the time.

[She weaves her fingers over Kova's back, petting him a handful of times before straightening up to follow Taako towards the kitchen, knowing the cat will want to go where the food is.]

I had to drop off the spoon, remember? I met him then.

[shroudedsecrets]

[Don't worry Taako buddy, Kova still values the partnership. Plenty of room in his greedy kitty heart for affection--and more importantly, he knows Taako keeps him fed well.

He'll even move close to brush against Taako as they walk toward the kitchen to emphasize this.]

[abracafcku]

[Not all the time still means she does it though. He eyes her and then let's go because it's not like he won't be sliding over to the Heron to borrow clothes eventually. ]

Yeah thanks for that by the way. If it's time for Kova to eat, then it's probably time for Her Gauntness to emerge from her cave too. Have you met her?