driftfleet | and then the fleet was banned from garbagetown

Entry tags:

and then the fleet was banned from garbagetown

Who: Taako, Lup, and you!
Broadcast: N/A
Action: Planetside, Iskaulit
When: Now-ish!

Picture this - a planet that serves as the junkyard for the rest of the universe. Towns and cities are littered among the trash, having grown up wherever space provided. In one corner of this garbage-filled world is a city, not a massive city like Neverwinter or a small podunk thing, but a city tried and true. Which means it has a town square where all the main traffic flows through on any given day; bakers and merchants and workers, miners and salvagers and travelers, a myriad of people all going about their typical boring days.

And then two ostentatiously ugly costumes just start floating through the middle of it all. People scatter because costumes that look like Shaggy Bear consumed Gloomy Bear's Soul and Big Bird had a Bad Bender and Never Recovered should not be floating through the middle of town. They carve a path and set themselves up, swaying gently in the breeze, in the very center of the square where all can see. Horrified expressions mix with curiosity as the costumes hang there, doing nothing, and then slowly people start to gather.

Which is when Taako, cloaked in invisibility, looks over at Lup and smirks. It's show time. You ready?

And Lup is definitely ready; the levitation drops on the costumes as they hang, and there's suddenly a streak of red-hot light that crosses the plaza from the building on which they stand and strikes the costumes. Immediately there's an explosion of fire, spreading outwards- not dangerous to the onlookers, thanks to the height at which they hang, but definitely enough to scatter whatever remaining nerves they had. When the worst of the initial fire fades away, the costumes remain hanging, but are now on fire, feathers and fur sizzling and curling, ash beginning to dot the earth below.

It's Taako's turn and he sets the costumes to waving in a ghostly wind as they grow, the fire growing with it. The fabric shudders with the strain of it, looming up and over the crowd menacingly as growing bits of charred feather and shag upholstery disintegrate in the flames. It's harmless, of course, but the crowd doesn't know that and they start shrieking, backing away from the display. Now that the scene's been set, Lup calls out to the lingering onlookers, still just out of sight: "What's up, Trash Town? Or whatever you call this place. No need to be scared! Your new fashion overlords are here to help open your eyes to the travesty we've found you all in."

The Enlarge cast and the concentration over, the costumes hang like Ghost Rider up in the air, and Taako can barely keep it together as he sees the people below start looking for the source of the voice. "We are here in our fabulous benevolence to aid you and provide succor to your sadly lacking closets. But tribute is demanded or a curse shall be upon you. We have sent our emissaries who shall now appear before you!"

He's always had this showmanship thing in the bag and Taako Blinks out of existence at the same time Lup casts Dimension Door. It takes him a little longer to get where he needs to go, but the Ethereal Plane is so wonky on this plane. Still, he makes it in time for the grand entrance - the two of them popping back into reality, back to back, wearing their favorite outfits from their earlier heist and with Disguise Self burning over both of them. They look even more radiant than usual; and a little more celestial thanks to the light from the burning costumes overhead and a little extra light granted by Prestidigitation and Dancing Lights beaming behind them like sparks and rays of sunlight.

A low murmur starts up around them as the townspeople survey the scene, uncertain of what exactly to do about it. The murmur grows in volume as seconds pass. Lup continues, "Turn away from your wicked ways, and destroy all sinful manifestations of fabric that rain down from the sky, or a plague of supreme ugly will fall upon you!"

She wiggles her fingers at a random onlooker, some woman who'd been sneering skeptically at them, and suddenly an illusion appears over her- her skin turns to the nasty shag carpet design. She shrieks at once and flees the crowd. The murmur becomes a buzz and a few of the people at the front begin throwing credits and coins their way, but more are scooting backwards, not sure what to do.

Lup waves a hand in front of herself, and a Mage Hand glides along the ground to scoop up the discarded credits, then brandishes a bag, glittery and bedazzled (as only befits a fashion god) and gestures pointedly towards it. "Anyone else feel like being spared?"

"The bigger the donation, the higher the salvation," Taako chimes in, whipping out a similar bag just in a different color.

There's a long pause as the residents debate their options, but another confused wail from the woman down the road gets a few people moving, dropping coins into the bags and fleeing the scene. They're not asking for much, they're not animals, but a little bit (from a lot of people) goes a long way!

Option A: Were you in the crowd when this all went down? Want to talk to Taako and Lup? They're both walking through the crowd now, so this is your chance to see the face-twins in action.

Option B: Is flying solo more your style? Which of them do you want to talk to: Taako or Lup?

Some time passes as they collect their bounty, and eventually a small group of more serious, burly viewers branch off and vanish into a shop. Lup watches them carefully, keeping her smile frozen in place as she gently shoos away a little girl trying to give her a single credit, because she's definitely not stealing from children. Those guys are probably going for weapons. Hey, Taako? I think that's our cue to make an exit.

Taako nods in agreement and tips his hat to the patrons nearby. He's gotten more than he expected today, so now it's time, as Lup says, for a flashy exit. There's no point in subtlety when the villagers are going for pitchforks. He puts his hands together and starts casting, light emanating from his fingers as he summons the only exit worth summoning. The light causes people to draw back from him and in their place, a beautiful, mulleted, rainbow-colored phantasm of a binicorn appears.

"Yo boss. It time to go?"

"You know it, Garyl. Lup! Let's hit it!"

There's an audible, delighted gasp from Lup, and without hesitation she hops onto the binicorn's back with Taako. With a loud whinny Garyl rears up on his hind legs, giving them one final opportunity for a dramatic pose (which they of course indulge) before Taako urges Garyl off at full speed, leaving behind them a rainbow of light. Before they vanish from sight, Lup, one arm wound around Taako's waist, blows the befuddled crowd a kiss. And just like that, they're gone again, with the now-armed local guard giving a futile chase behind them.

Option C: Catch them after their daring escape, laughing their asses off outside of the danger zone, or on the Iskaulit, perhaps over drinks?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He can't help it. There is a lot that doesn't make sense about the Red Robes lately and it's been bugging him. He usually lets it slide on by, but it's been harder since one of them has his face and the ensuing static anytime he tries to think of why. He knows he promised they'd start over, but there's just so much that makes no sense.

It's still easier to just not think about it though.

Especially when she looks like she's barely holding it together. Taako isn't as attuned to her as she is to him and it bothers him. He's never had to really be considerate of others before and here's someone who is basically him in a different body and he feels like he should. He really, really feels like he should.

Taako stares at Lup for a moment, and then shrugs.]

Yeah, sure, sorry. Hard to turn off the ol' thinker, you know?

[Unless! The drinks haven't come back yet, so fuck it. He conjures up a bottle of unnamed vodka, slams a hit off it and just thunks it down on the table between them.]

This should help?

[The gratitude in her expression is palpable, and she snags the bottle between them and takes first one shot, then two- just for good measure, just to really stick it. If feels good, burning and a little angry, the way vodka ought to be. Not Grey Goose, but she wouldn't expect it. This is good. This is- perfect.]

I don't know if the answer is to get more drunk, but I'm sure as hell not gonna complain. Hats off to you, Taako.

[She gestures dramatically with her non-existent hat and grins, the air of misery expertly wiped from her expression. Still… still safe, maybe. Still okay.]

[The waiter returns with the drinks and eyes the suddenly appearing bottle suspiciously, but Taako slips him a few extra credits to look the other way with a promise to buy another bottle if they get through this one.

She's smiling at least and Taako reaches over to swipe the bottle and take a swig himself. He can't quite smile completely, but he's getting there. A second drink and he lets out a loud sigh, setting the bottle back between them.]

Might not be the answer, but it sure as hell is a solution. I had a good fuckin' day and I don't want to think about anything else but that.

[Her smile is tentative and mostly brief, accepting the bottle to take another shot. There's a few moments of quiet back-and-forth with it as she considers the situation, her options, Taako's tone- all of it. She takes it all in, the vodka buzzing at her brain.

Imagine the look on Lucy's face if she saw this right now.

Don't say that one, Lup.

She stays quiet, expression shifting as she works herself through the good and bad ideas that come to mind. And then she slides the bottle back towards him, leaning over the table to get a few inches closer, her voice low and conspiratory.]

Okay. Okay. Okay okay. I know I said- but listen. What the fuck is up with the Red who kept finding you guys, right? Looking like a floating hellspawn-mode Darth Vader and the least safe person ever, all ~dooooo you trust meeeee~?? Like, what did he expect?

[Teasing her beloved Barold was always one of their favourite shared pastimes, and she's drunk and curious so she wants to see his response.]

[He watches and waits, content to sit in an alcoholic haze until he needs to bolt. It wouldn't be the first time he had to sober up on a moment's notice, and knowing him it wouldn't be the last either.

So he waits, eyeing her posture, her attitude, and that bottle. The seconds pass into a minute and Taako's attention starts to wander. It snaps back the moment she leans in and passes the bottle back--

And yessssssss!!! He is totally down for mocking someone potentially super dangerous. He's buzzed; he doesn't care.]

I know right? What a nerd. He could have at least tried a little harder in the looks department, so he didn't look like he was coming reap our souls or some junk. Your co-workers need a work seminar in style, Lup.

[He takes the bottle and takes a drag off it before passing it back.]

Like seriously need, ASAP.

[She takes a good swig of the bottle and slides it over, then reaches back and lifts up her hood, shadowing her face. It's not a red robe - just a hoodie - but a wave of Prestidigitation makes the darkness darker, her eyes now exaggerated red lights hidden within. Her voice drops low and melodramatic, arms gesticulating in the air like a flailing ghost. A very drunken ghost.]

Taaaaaako, Taaaaaaaakoooooo... I am totally your friend and am trying to heeeeelp yooooouuu... wait, where are you gooooiiiiing...

[Sorry, Barry. She loves you, but your flair for the dramatic really did not make for a strong case in the "you should ditch the BoB" department.]

[He takes the bottle back and if about to take a drink when she goes through her pantomime. Taako snorts and giggles, hugging the bottle so it doesn't fall.]

He's lucky the first time he showed up none of us knew Banishment because hot diggity.

[Or did he know it then? Who knows. If Merle did, that moron wouldn't remember.]

Did he draw the short stick or something?

[She grins and plops back down properly before she wobbles right off her chair, dropping the enchantment to look normal again.]

Well... he was kinda the only one available for bugging you. Believe me, if it'd been my call, I'd have gone for sincere, not creepy. Maybe tossed a bit of humour in. Friends! Facetwin! Drop the Bureau of Balance and get with the Bureau of Bathrobes! Better fashion, better benefits. Less static.

[He snickers and take a drink, praying the bottle to her once she sitting again.]

Bureau of Bathrobes?

I would have refused on that name alone. Please tell me it has a better name than that.

Heh, yeah, it does, but I'll have to leave you in suspense about it for now. The szkkrkk zrrkkkk shhkkrrrkk sshhhzzkk sounds even more shitty than bathrobes.

[Another shot gone, and the bottle is not gonna last much longer. She should probably order some water, or neither is she.

Perfect timing, though- here come the wings! So while they're being delivered she passes some coin for a water pitcher to be brought over. She wants to sober up a little so she can drink more.]

[Right, static. Even if she said the name, he wouldn't be able to hear it probably. If her entire existence had been erased by a second Voidfish somewhere, then it had probably eaten the name of her crew as well.

Taako sighed and then perked up at the arrival of food.

He sent the man back for more napkins and a bottle of better vodka for later.]

Fuck yeah chicken wings. I hope they made them hot enough.

Oh my god, yes. It's been so long since I had this.

[She practically wolfs the first one down in a single bite, too eager to take her time with it. They're small and far from the best she's ever tasted, but they're sweet and delicately spiced, so at least someone in the kitchen knows more or less what they're doing with flavour. Once the first one's gone she opts to take her time, licking at the sauce on her fingers.]

Yep, that was a good call. Who doesn't love wings with booze?

[Speaking of, it's her turn with the vodka. Which is definitely almost empty, so it's a good thing Taako's ordered more.]

Might wanna find out if there's a place to nap around here, because I am soooo not fit to drive a shuttle right now.

[Dayumn, okay. He lets Lup go at her own crazy pace, but he takes his time. They're good, but the general sort of good he's come to expect from way stations in his travels. Taverns had to serve food that was good enough, but not necessarily amazing. He's eaten at enough such establishments to know this is good, but not what he would make.

But when he's drunk? Who gives a shit.

He snacks away as Lup goes for the bottle again and chuckles.]

Yeah, good choice.

[The second bottle and the water appears and Taako pours out two glasses of water, then pops the top off the vodka.]

Too bad there isn't a taxi service here, but I'm sure we can find somewhere to crash. Might not be comfortable, but it'll do.

[And if not? He'll trance for a bit to sober up, then draw her face while she's passed out.]

[Lup snags herself a glass of water as well, chugging down half of it to get some decent hydration in her system as she ponders that, then leans back in her chair, tilting backwards just enough to look like she's about to fall without, y'know, actually falling.]

Know what I heard? There's actually a mountain in here somewhere. I wanna see that.

[Would it feel like sleeping in the great outdoors?? Because that sounds nostalgic and classic to drunk-Lup, which somehow translates into a great idea.

More importantly, though, how the fuck did someone get a mountain onto a spaceship?]

You're shitting me.

[A mountain? On a spaceship? Taako nearly spits his water at the very thought of it. How did they do it? Transmutation? Teleportation? Something else?

He sits up and slams his glass down.]

Where is it?

I know the rough location for it, but I haven't been myself. I figure a fuckin' mountain is pretty hard to miss, though!

[Taako is pissed he hadn't found it yet. But then again, he'd been focused on finding a place away from everyone else so he could try finding a way home. So far? Nadda.]

I know there's some crazy powerful people here, but how did they get a mountain on a spaceship?

[She'd gotten sidetracked by the forge, they both both have valid excuses.]

Fuck if I know, but it's something worth finding out, because that's power. I've got some good elemental spells but even I can't do that shit.

[Maybe if she cast Move Earth a few times, but that's a once-a-day dealio.]

[He's tempted to go down there and throw some spells around just to see what created it. He can transmute a lot of stuff, but a mountain? Nah, that's out of wheelhouse.]

Kinda makes you wonder, huh? I'm serving under a god again, there are space elves with freaky magic, and straight up aliens. Who is watching this show?

[As interesting as the cast is, most of the people here just want to live their lives. It's gotta be boring up until someone creates a mountain or he and Lup do something.]

And where can I learn to make a goddamn mountain?

[Oh, right, the Istus thing. She really wants to ask how seriously he's taking that - because the idea of a religious Taako is super weird, even if he's Merle's level of lazy about it - but that's steering into the whole "we've been spying on you" territory and she's just sober enough to remember that's a mixed bag when it comes to how he'll react. Sooooo nevermind that. Taako's still Taako, and the goddess of fate is a good fit for him, anyway.]

We can ask around, maybe, or cast a few identification spells when we get there. It's a new project before the night ends!

[It's just as likely that they'll stagger in and pass out on the grass, but whatever. She's optimistic.]

[Only as seriously as he needs to when she's paying attention. Taking has "served" gods before and dropped them as soon as he wasn't under their direct observation. Being on Loki's ship makes things complicated, but.... eh.

He finishes off his water and then forgoes anymore for vodka. This is better than what he can conjure, so he takes a smaller drink before passing it toward Lup.]

More fun to see who figures it out first just from casting, isn't it?

Especially if we're both drunk.

A battle of wits and wizardry? I'm down.

[She accepts the bottle and raises it in salute before taking a good swig, whistling as she sets it back on the table. Good shit. Much better shit. She also (wisely) leans forward again on her chair to set it back on all four legs, because she's getting real close to pitching backwards, and it'll be difficult to get herself up again if she falls.]

When's the last time you were drunk? Because the only answer that comes to mind for me was "too fuckin' long ago".

[Drunken wits and wizardry, but yes.

He lets himself relax into his chair, picking away at the chicken wings in an attempt to keep the pleasant happy buzz in his brain at levels that don't pitch into "where did the ground go" area.

It's nice to be able to relax like this. The last job over, good things happening, weird shit mostly on hold. He holds a hand out for the bottle and hums in thought.]

Drunk drunk? Been awhile, but I had a good night recently and ended up nicely buzzed on wine.

[And the company.]

You?

[Hey, sometimes drunken shenanigans are the best sort. And no matter how this goes she's going to enjoy it.

His question is more sobering, but she'd half-expected it- she'd brought it up in the first place, after all. She purses her lips, sliding the bottle across the table back and forth between her hands for a moment.

She knows what day he means.]

It was... a dozen years ago, I think. [I know.] Decided there was something I had to do, but I was having trouble working up the nerve... but I had some fun with the people I care about, and that helped.

[Taako, soothing her with his gentle pragmatism, making her laugh with his ridiculous thong dance. Barry, catching her alone and crying drunkenly with a bottle that night, holding her close and drinking with her. She'd left a kiss on his forehead before she left the kiss on her note.

She'd sobered up in the grass that morning, waiting for her relic to kill for the last time.]

[Huh, he touched a nerve. It should bother him, too, but he's got the gentle wall of intoxication settling in
between him and common sense. 12 years is a number that buzzes in his skull, but he can't pick it out between the vodka and his instincts kicking in. Still... It makes him sad. Not necessarily for her because it sounds like she made the decision she needed to make, but for him in a weird way. He isn't sure he has or has ever had anyone he could rely on like that. Must've been nice.

He leans forward and grabs the neck of the bottle, stopping her from sliding it back and forth.]

Be glad you had them to help you out then.

[Why did his heart hurt? Was it the buzzing static or something else? This was stupid and Taako pulled the bottle her hands, emptying their water glasses and refilling then with vodka.]

We're supposed to be having fun, nerd. Stop looking like I just fireballed your cat.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject