Fanmail Kiosk Strikes Again

[scalpelofmarmora]

Who: Ulaz and you!
Broadcast: Yes!
Action: anyone who might be on the Blameless
When: today



So... I decided I would finally check this fanmail kiosk. Let's see what has been said.

First one: "You are my favorite cat person" ... thank you... for that. I can say I have never been told that before.

Second one: "How do you keep your fur so nice and smooth?"

[He's really trying not to give the communicator a weird look for the cat questions]

It's not that long to begin with so it usually doesn't get too out of hand. Taking care of it helps, keeping it clean, occasionally with something if it becomes dry. Biffy has been a big help with finding the products.

[Shameless plug for Biffy...]

Third: "Like Z.O.M.G. Uliro is my O.T.P" ... I think I will need help translating this one.

Fourth: "Do you ever get a stiff neck from having to duck through all the doorways all the time?" Yes, I do. It is hard when the ship is not designed for your height. There isn't much to be done about it I'm afraid.

Fifth: "Is everything proportional?" ... Is everything proportional?

[There's a very faint sound like someone trying to whisper the explanation to him. He does also glance over in that direction before turning back]

I haven't noticed any fruit that is larger than a household chair so I'd assume everything is proportional.

I think that's all the questions I have time to answer at the moment. Thank you.

[And right before he cuts the video feed there's the sound of someone saying "that's not wha-" ... but then it's gone]

[ooc: Kirk is the background whispering]

Comments

Video

[crow_dad]

[Hey. Yo. Your dad is here.]

People have such an odd fascination with anatomy for sexual purposes.

[Yeah...he's just gonna say it.]

Video

[scalpelofmarmora]

[Hi, sword dad]

That they do. And the fact that they will ask so blatantly.

[crow_dad]

They will hardly have the chance to bed you so it really matters very little.

[scalpelofmarmora]

[Oh, Koga too]

No. They will not. Somehow it does still interest them.

[crow_dad]

[He just understands how minds like that work. He's watched it for too long.]

It does appear so.

[He smiles some then shakes his head a little.]

Is there a way to do construction on the ship you live on to make it fit you better?

[scalpelofmarmora]

That is a question that's not going to be answered.

I don't think there is. It's mainly the doorways. The ceilings are tall enough for me. The bed has already been upgraded to be longer.

[crow_dad]

I see. Then as long as you are in a room there is no struggle. It is simply the coming and going from a room that an issue comes to light.

[scalpelofmarmora]

That is correct. I do not have a lot of space to the ceiling, but I can stand up. The doors are significantly lower.

I have come expect the fleet is not built for my height.

[crow_dad]

It would be that much more troublesome should anyone larger than yourself arrive too.

[scalpelofmarmora]

It would. I wonder how they would manage it in that case. I'm surprised it actually works for me.

[crow_dad]

Perhaps the ships resize to adjust? They do always seem to have the right number of rooms to them to support those of us here.

[scalpelofmarmora]

I suppose it is possible. I didn't notice a readjustment at all, either between the Caprine or Blameless... or other ships I have been on. Unless all the ships universally get a bit bigger when someone of a certain height comes into the fleet.

[crow_dad]

I wonder if that is so. Being as small as I am, everything can seem quite large to me so I had not noticed.

[scalpelofmarmora]

Hmm... I suppose that could be the case. During the glitch where I turned human, barely anyone noticed that I was slightly shorter than I was before. I was aware of it though.

[crow_dad]

I feel that I would notice as well if I were to become taller suddenly. It would be very difficult to get used to.

[scalpelofmarmora]

It would. For one, your clothes might be noticeably shorter. That was part of how I noticed with mine. They were longer than they had been previously.

[crow_dad]

Oh. So I would find the world quite refreshing behind me in that case.

[You may not have noticed, Ulaz, but the outfit he arrived in? It has no crotch.]

[scalpelofmarmora]

[He's too polite to look that closely, but given what he has seen of the outfit, he now suspects something like that may be the case with that comment]

Yes, you may find that to be a consequence of it.

[crow_dad]

How remarkable.

[He probably shouldn't find that exciting. But here we are.]

[scalpelofmarmora]

It is. The things the Atroma are able to do... and the consequences they have, are very interesting. Seems extremely varied for what can happen.

[crow_dad]

Potentially quite fun at times too from what this father can see.

[scalpelofmarmora]

That seems to be there entire purpose. Throwing everything into chaos for a short period of time. Of course some of these glitches are quite cruel.

[crow_dad]

As is the way of most amusements. It's why one must be careful of how one uses them in friendships. Those that run this operation are not our friends though.

[scalpelofmarmora]

That is true. They are not. We are only sources of amusement for them. I wouldn't wish some of the glitches I've seen on others, whether I know them or not.

[He's thinking of a specific one, but not one he can or will talk about]

[crow_dad]

Mm. That we are. Which is why we remain cautious even as we go about our lives. Which is wise in the end when dealing with those of untold power.