[ video + action ] in this world now I am undying ( iw update )

[dothelokimotion]

Who: Loki + You
Broadcast: Yes!
Action: SS First Breath
When: Right now!

( feed: action )

[ the feed turns on and you're not sure why. all is quiet on the ship front. there doesn't seem to be much activity on the first breath, even this late. all is silent. until you hear a crackle. suddenly ice speeds its way over the walls, ceilings and floors of the ship, instantly freezing everything along its path. everything is coated in silvery, sharp ice, cold to the touch.

and for a moment, a shrill scream echoes throughout the ship before going quiet with the feed. ]

( much later: video )

[ loki turns the feed on. he looks queasy and ready to drop off right then and there, but he clears his throat, coughing as it hurts. ]

My apologies. It seems I lost control of my magic. I will immediately see to any repairs. But perhaps people coming by should mind their step in the meantime.

[ he looks like he has more to say, but he ducks his head, turning off the feed. ]

Comments

[postocular]

I'm on it. I'll be there in a little bit.

[ He offers a nod and a smile of reassurance before ending the feed. True to his word, Carl arrives shortly after with a bag in tow. Thankfully, he had a bit of a stockpile to choose from, so he has a variety to give to Loki. When he gets to the First Breath, he's amazed and also concerned, seeing everything coated in ice. It looks like something out of a comic book, and it's a little unsettling. Careful of his step, he makes his way through the halls until he gets to Loki's room. ]

Loki.. you there?

[dothelokimotion]

[ he'd really prefer not to be. but he did say he would be there, so he opens the door. ]

I am here. Though I may not be much company.

[postocular]

Hey. I'd ask if you're okay, but it's okay not to be. Here. I brought you some stuff.

[ Carl comes into the room and sets the bag on Loki's bed. ]

I brought you some candy from one of the parades down on the planet, and I had a few leftover pudding cups.. Hope that's okay? They might be kinda stale.. I dunno how long it's supposed to actually keep.

[ Even then, they're weird flavors like 'chocolate chili' and 'green tea'. ]

[dothelokimotion]

It's fine.

[ his normally smooth voice is a croak, raspy and worn out. he plucks one of them to observe. ]

You did not have to bring anything. I'm not sure I can stomach it.

[postocular]

Doesn't have to be now, I brought it for you.

[ He plops himself down at the foot of the bed. ]

[dothelokimotion]

Thank you. Everyone has been . . . far too kind to me.

[ like way too much. loki had expected 0% so everything above that is wild. ]

[postocular]

That's what you do for family?

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki winces. ]

I am not — That doesn't seem right.

[postocular]

Family isn't always blood.

Most of my family isn't, but it doesn't matter.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki shakes his head, growing more haggard. ]

I don't deserve to be part of anyone's family. It has brought nothing but pain.

[postocular]

Yeah, well. Sometimes you don't get to choose who decides to include you in theirs. You're kind of stuck with me, sorry.

[ Not sorry. ]

You don't think you deserve a lot of things. A lot of it is bullshit.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki laughs. it's a distinctive, unpleasant sound. ]

I'm quite sure I got precisely what I deserved.

[postocular]

[ Carl looks very skeptical about this. ]

You may be an asshole, but you're not evil.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he merely shakes his head. ]

Evil or not, there's no denying that what took place is what was meant for me all along.

[postocular]

Maybe. What does Thor think about it?

[ He wasn't there, so it's hard for him to say. Hopefully the lore is separate from what actually took place. ]

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki frowns inwardly. ]

Thor has more important things to concern himself with.

[postocular]

Is that according to you or to Thor? Because I'm willing to bet that he cares.

[dothelokimotion]

Of course he cares. He simply should not bother with it.

[ thor should not bother with him. loki's made his bed. ]

[postocular]

He should, because you're family. That's the most important thing.

[dothelokimotion]

[ the most important thing. loki almost wants to scoff. ]

I certainly have proven that I do not regard it that way.

[postocular]

You can't change the past, but what about now?

[dothelokimotion]

[ he snorts. ]

What can I possibly change, here in this place, where nothing changes?

[postocular]

Yourself? Your relationships?

[dothelokimotion]

I am tired of trying and having to amount to this — this nothingness. I'm tired of dying.

[postocular]

Dying is...scary. Doesn't matter if it's here or home, but...this place isn't nothing. Not while we're all living in it. If it is, then...I don't know. I guess I'm in nothingness, too.