driftfleet | [ video ]

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[ there's a pretty vampire, looking into the camera curiously before speaking. ]

I have been meaning to ask. Is there anything that you have learned here that has changed your lives?

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Yeah well sane people don't go hopping over to genocide for funsies, so yeah. Sounds like it?

Fuck, man, that sucks.

[ what can alucard say to that? so he remains quiet. ]

[Taako lets the silence sit for a moment and then he huffs, popping his lips as he thinks.]

Well, as shitty as it is to say, I hope you stab your dad real good? And maybe also definitely, yeah definitely also the assholes who killed your mom because those dickwads deserve to die.

Thank you.

[ he'll take it. ]

Mmhm, not a prob, my man. Happy murder spree to you. May all your stabbings be directed outward and none be returned to you-- or something.

It really isn't a murder spree.

Well, I'm gonna assume he isn't just going to let you wander in and kill him. He'll probably have, like, goon squads or lackey fodder you'll have to go through, right? So you'll have to, y'know, kill them too. So it's kiiiind of a murder spree.

No judging here, homie. I killed a dude once and threw him off a cliff. Or was it a well? ....Maybe those were two different guys. I have no idea. They weren't important.

[ fair enough. alucard can't deny that. murder spree just sounds so . . . macabre though. ]

I'm hoping it'll be quick, at least. Now that I have help.

Oh deffo. You don't want a murder tour to take more than like an hour tops or the cops show up and ruin everything.

[Is he serious? Who knows! But he's definitely smirking]

The who now.

The cops? The popo? The party crashin' law-abiding--

...

Do they not have police where you're from?

As I said, the authority is the church. Or whatever force the elders of that place may have appointed.

Oh my gods. Your world is so shitty??? How do you not have actual cops?? Oh my gods, I could get away with so much shit in your country. Like. I'd steal everything not nailed down.

No- no, wait. I'd steal the nails and then the shit that was nailed down!

[ not sure if there's anything to steal . . . ]

I don't think performing magic there will win you much luck.

Pfft, well they can try to come after me. I'll throw their dumb asses down a well, too.

[Fuuuuck anyone who tries to mess with him. Taako's gonna live no matter what.]

Then we can all be glad it won't come to that.

Are we though? Because it sounds like they deserve to get thrown down a well.

[ they do, but alucard is unlikely to voice that. ]

Perhaps. Though I pity the well and its water.

Eh, I'm sure the townspeople can fish the body out before it causes any big problems.

Hypothetically.

[ since none of this is real. ]

"Hypothetically."

[Taako rolls his eyes and smirks.]

Maybe I'll let them know about it on my way outta town.

I think they have enough troubles as it is.

[ with the night hordes and death. ]

Yeah, they live in a place with no cops, vampires, and no concept of good breakfast foods. Honestly, what did you guys eat if not waffles and pancakes and, I dunno, biscuits and gravy if you wanna get real home-y about it.

I could not fully tell you what the locals do.

[ since alucard is basically Rich Kid in the 1400s. ]

Perhaps it is best to ask Trevor.

[He crinkles his nose at that suggestion.]

You mean that guy who keeps asking me what the fuck's wrong with my ears and insinuating being elven is evil? No thanks.

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ananym - 2019-02-15 09:54 (UTC) - Expand

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abracafcku - 2019-02-20 05:38 (UTC) - Expand

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