the white noise is deafening silence

[thespaceopera]

[In the very early hours of January 20th, as the Marsiva and her captives drift nonchalantly through the depths of the universe, there is a call. Every single personal communicator and console springs to life, spitting out a stream of indecipherable static and showing only gray snow on screen. It continues like this for a few seconds longer, going black and then going staticky, and then the signal switches to the encrypted channel generally used for speaking to the Interceptors when something big goes down.

This is a little more successful. The voice may be familiar to some, at least through the static.]

Zhade here! I trust I ███ your attention? I'm having some ██▓▓ble ██tting through. Some of the ░▓██▓█ are missing. I can't ░▓▓▓ read on their loc█████ns. [A particularly long burst of static.] ███stening. I'll s█▓▓█ more inf██▓▓▓▓▓█ I get it.

Stay sharp! [There's the sound of someone actually doing the fingerguns wink noise, and then static.

Any messages sent back won't get through, and Zhade isn't there to answer.]

[ A blip of lost time passes right after those words, before every passenger mysteriously wakes alone in their own unfamiliar room. The style of decor resembles that of the Marsiva's Hospitality Deck, if any passengers should remember what that's like. It sounds and smells the same as the host ship as well, all clean and chrome.

Welcome back to the Marsiva, dear passengers. It's time for round three of calibrations. ]

[ This mingle will cover all non-calibration room interactions. Please continue to come back to it for the duration of the plot! You are, of course, free to post any other mingles/posts/etc. that you'd like. ]

Comments

(fana fo fana)

[this_loser]

[Ah. Time for serious stuff. He wiggles down to get his arms firmly around her.]

I know. I'm sorry you had to see it like that.

[axi]

Which part? [There were a few he could be referencing, and she's not entirely sure where to start, either.] There's a lot to address, but I want to talk about it with you.

[That goes for her own memories, too, if a few less than his. Her hand moves to rest on his shoulder, fingers loose and comfortable.]

[this_loser]

[His laugh is soundless and entirely humorless, but he sobers quickly.] All of it? All the bad stuff, anyway.

[His right arm is trapped behind her, but she can probably feel him wiggle his wrist. The clones, and Besithia - he'd already told her about them. What he did that night at the campfire, that was harder to explain.] I was in a really bad place. Mentally. ...Well, physically too. But ... mentally.

[axi]

I can't claim to fully understand what you were going through, not really, but... I know how you were feeling. Thanks to this, anyway.

[Kaname shifts closer to him, pressing her forehead into the crook of his neck.]

It... And it scared me a little, to realize that you felt like that before. That is was so real for you.

[this_loser]

[He breaths in deep. It shudders through his ribs and up his throat. He rests his head against hers.]

I'm sorry I scared you. Scared myself, too. [He tries a breath of a laugh, but it comes out as a sniffle.] I appreciate that I have you, and friends, who don't care where I'm from, but ... but, I really hate what I am.

[axi]

[The fact he's not using past tense for that statement is what gets to her. Kaname tugs the blanket up more so it's over their shoulders to give them a modicum of privacy.]

Before I say anything else, I want to ask: what do you think you are?

[this_loser]

You saw...

[He's not sure how to put it into words.]

I'm a copy. I'm one of a million copies. I'm a copy of that ... that.

[It was hard to tell if there were any similarities between himself and Besithia. The man was already half-eaten by scourge. And old. Gods, would he look like that?]

[axi]

[She shakes her head. Well, as much as she can anyway.]

That's wrong. A clone is not a copy-- not the way you're putting it. You are your own person. [Kaname keeps her voice low so only he can hear her.] Genetics don't define you, not in the ways that matter most. Your friends and I wouldn't care about you as much as we do if that was the case.

[Not in a good position to hug him, she simply presses into his hold instead.]

You're a good man who's come very far from your origins, and you should be proud of that. At least, don't diminish it, because I'm proud of you for it.

[this_loser]

[He ... doesn't actually know all that much about clones. Just what he saw in the facility. Pretty sure that Niflheim having an army of clones wasn't common knowledge.

He knows what's she's saying. He's heard it before. "Who cares where you were born?" "You're one of us, right?" It was enough to carry him forward. There wasn't much time to dwell on it, anyway.

He's had nothing but time here. He'd learned a long time ago how to push all the unpleasant things to the back, let them gather dust. And then something like this happens, and all those feelings bubble up and fill his head.

He's been silent for too long. But his throat is tight and it's hard to get the words out.]

Thank you. I'm ... Sometimes I think I'm okay with it. And then I'm not. I don't think I ever really will be.

[axi]

[Kaname's silent herself, trying to sort through what to say. It's difficult, but she's thankful he's opening up to her.] I can't fully understand, but I don't think you have to be okay with it, as long as you don't let it hold you back when it matters. I've never met someone who's completely at peace with every part of themselves, have you?

[She pulls her head back and gives him a soft smile.]

For what it's worth, it's never negatively affected how I feel about you.

[this_loser]

[He shakes his head a little. She has a point.]

I don't know what I'd do without you.

[He even tries to smile back, but it wavers uncertainly.

He doesn't doubt how she feels about him. But, he has some concerns.]

Can I ask you something?

[axi]

You'd manage, I'm sure. You're stronger than you think.

[Kaname nods as soon as she asks, a slightly puzzled expression crossing her features.]

Of course. You can ask me anything.

[this_loser]

[He chews his lip a moment, considering. And reconsidering. Maybe it's a bad idea. But if he doesn't ask, it will continue to eat at him.

Please don't be mad.]

Messer? How, um, how do you feel about him?

[axi]

Prompto...

[Kaname trails off. She said he could ask anything, and considering what he'd experienced, it makes sense that he brings this up. She sighs lightly, not even sure where to begin, so diving in it is. Though she grips the fabric of his shirt while she speaks.]

He's very important to me, and I trust him implicitly. [Her lips press together as she thinks back.] I... never knew how much I meant to him until it was too late. After that, all I had was the bracelet and memories. And what ifs.

[Stopping, Kaname swallows. The next part is... difficult to admit aloud. But he deserves to hear it.]

I think I could have fallen in love with him. If... When I told you how I felt about you, if you hadn't replied... [Well, who knows where they'd all be right now.] I wasn't planning on pushing the issue. [Good to leave it at that.]

[this_loser]

[It's ... what he expected. It's not what he wants to hear, really, but he isn't surprised. It still sparks an ache somewhere under his ribcage. He nods.]

I would've understood, if... You could've had a second chance. I'm not saying that's what I want. I want to be with you, and I'm so happy you're with me. I'm just, c-confused, I guess.

[axi]

[In response, she moves her head to rest in the crook of his neck once more.]

I wish I had an answer for that, something to make you feel better, but I don't. I'm not entirely sure myself. I just know I made a decision I don't regret and hope that's enough for you.

[She can't see his face from her position, but her tone is a little uncertain, especially near the end of her thoughts. She knows it isn't fair to him this way, and she'd change that if she could. But honesty is more important right now.]

[this_loser]

[He appreciates the honesty, even if it hurts a little. She can probably feel him nod against her head. The sigh he tries to hold back, but in their position it doesn't work all that well.]

It's enough. You have me for as long as you want me. I love you.

[axi]

Good, because that's going to be for a long time to come. [Kaname scoots a little closer, sliding her arm around him in return.]

I love you, too. Very much.

[this_loser]

[He breaths in and snuggles down under her weight and the blanket.

Nothing could ruin this moment.]

[axi]

[Of course not.]

So, tell me about Cindy.

[Well, there is alway something.]

[this_loser]

[He groans softly.]

What's there to tell?

[axi]

What's not to tell? She's your Goddess.

[Kaname isn't bothered, not really. But he does need to answer a little more about this.]

[this_loser]

[He feels his cheeks light up, and is glad she can't see it in this position.]

Was.. And ... not really. I never got up the nerve to say anything.

[axi]

Would you have said anything to me if I didn't say anything first?

[It's actually something she's wondered about before.]

[this_loser]

[He's quiet for a bit, thinking that over. It's hard to say what might have happened if things were different.]

I think I would have. Maybe not then, but eventually...

[But then, would he have missed his chance if he took too long?]