Twin Roses Mingle (visitors welcome)

[passingthrough]

Who: Twin Roses’ crew, friends, and lookieloos
Broadcast: Unlikely
Action: Twin Roses
When: March 2019

[Not much has changed on the Twin Roses since their stay on the Marsiva. No crew changes. No promotions or downgrades, although Vash is no longer co-captain, but rather first mate, in case anyone missed it and Krolia is still somewhat new among their ranks.

There aren’t even any stale donuts lying around which also means the plants in the garden and pets are thriving and their food stocks are still going strong. Yep, just totally normal stuff after being gone over a month! And probably no weird things to talk about after seeing each other’s memories. Business as usual here!

Also, there was the part where they attacked the Marsiva afterward for a hot minute. Just another normal day in the life of the fleet.]

Comments

[passingthrough]

[She doesn't stiffen when he puts an arm around her, but she is hesitant for a moment before leaning into it. She's come a long way, but she's still not always good at accepting comfort even when she wants or needs it.]

I spent most of my life thinking in the short term. When I was a child, before everything was gone it was different. I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd do with my future as the first prima ballerina with a nobel prize. And then it was just living through the day and trying to keep the people around me alive too. I didn't even realize I'd stopped believing in the future until I got to the prison. I fell in love there too. I started thinking about what it would be like to get married again to him or have kids. They weren't really things that made sense in a prison, but it still got me thinking about it and then that all end badly and I was definitely never going to fall in love in one of these places again. It's a very stupid thing to do. [She smiles, because no spoiler alert needed, she fell so hard and everyone already knows.]

And I definitely thought about my future with Winn. We talked about what our home would be like and how we felt about kids and what we wanted to do. All the things that were always more fantasy than reality because our lives are controlled by the Atroma here. But I couldn't stop thinking about it when I was with him. I wanted more. [And then it turned out like it did. Like these things always do because you only get now.]

Here I am worrying about a future that will probably end up way more screwed up than I can even imagine it. Stupid, right? I know better.

[cajunspice]

Be it? [He asks, letting it linger for a moment.] Is it really that stupid to not hope a bit? After all, carin' for someone, ya do have hope in there. That stuff will stay good, that nothin' bad will happen, kinda goes 'long with it all.

It easy, real easy, to just live day by day, to try 'nd 'gnore 'nything else or gettin' too attached, 'cause never know when someone will leave or betray ya. But... [A pause, needing it with how close this was striking to home.] When ya on the other side of it, when ya are happy, 'nd trustin', 'nd 'njoyin' every moment ya got with them... it doesn't seem to matter.

Thing be with this place, we ain't just survivin' here, but we're also not 'n control, we're in a limbo between the two, which means we gotta find a balance between the two. 'nd it be so easy to just go back to not carin' 'bout 'nyone but yaself, so don't get hurt again. But with everything 've been through here 'nd Luceti before, thinkin' back to who 've lost, I would rather hang onto those memories, as painful as they be, than not havin' had them happen in the first place.

[passingthrough]

[She listens quietly while he talks. And when he gets to his final point about the memories being better than nothing at all, she applies it to her memories. There are so many that she doesn't know how to feel about anymore. Things ended as bad as things can end with Piotr. And with Reid it was a mess. Did they scar her more than anything? And even if they did, is she better because of it or not? She's not sure the answer is clear there, but with Winn...] I never want to forget Winn. I'm glad it happened. [There's a part of her that worries if given enough time things would have ended badly. She had very little proof that there are other endings to have. But she wants to believe they were just right for each other and got torn apart.]

I'm definitely better at surviving than any of the alternatives. I could have a boy scout badge for it if they made boy scout badges for that. And if you ignore the part where I died back home. [That is the least survive-y thing to do. But she's not dead. She's sitting here on his bed with a pulse and everything.]

So, you're saying I should give it a real try with Vash?

[cajunspice]

'm sayin' the heart be real good at healin', 'specially when ya think it can't. 'nd that it don't mean what ya had before, who ya had before, be 'ny less 'mportant. [For better or worse.]

Vash seems like a good guy, even if I don't feel I really know him, but merde, not like 'm an open book either. If he makes ya happy, I think it worth a shot at least. [Turning to press a kiss to Kitty's hair.] Think ya may regret it more if ya don't at least try.

[passingthrough]

[She knows her heart has been healing all this time. It feels so slow and non-existent day-to-day, but from that moment she realized he was gone until now the change is huge. It still feels like there's so far to go though. So much further than she an imagine going. But she puts one foot in front of the other and keeps walking in that direction even if the goal feels unachievable. It's what she's always done.]

He is a good guy. He's more than he let's on. [She doesn't want to tell his secrets, but she figures someone like Remy has figured out that much himself. He as much as said so.] He's good to me. I'd like to be better for him. [Thus the gifts. She doesn't have the words yet, and physical affection can only say so much. She's branching out even if it's more into Winn's love language.]

[cajunspice]

Well, at least you know how to always win brownie points with him. Or donut points I guess. [A bit of a grin at the silliness of that.]

It's a good step, Kitty, 'nd think he will really appreciate it. [He better at least, not that Remy thinks Vash would dismiss a gift from her or anything like that. He just... doesn't always think before he talks, and since this was so important to Kitty, Remy hopes Vash will instantly like it so his brain doesn't have to make up for anything his mouth might say.]