driftfleet | B'lire Game-wide Mingle

I remember it. All of it, actually-- every landscape, every interaction.

[ He doesn't really know why, when it seems most people don't remember at least some of it. ]

Alright, fair enough. Then it hasn't been that long. [ He chuckles. ] Oh, Victor and I decided to get married here. We set up a date and all.

My memory is pretty clear on it too.

Oh, I saw. I guess I could have started with congratulations. [Or maybe she was avoiding a topic she might feel awkward around. Marriage and this place don't have a great track record. Her boyfriend disappeared shortly after finding a ring for her and before he was able to ask. She found it in his things later. Steve and Peggy made it to their nuptials only to disappear very shortly afterward. Of course that doesn't mean the Atroma are doing it on purpose. But she does feel a little personally attacked by it still.

Oh, and Kitty, you still haven't said it.]

So, congratulations! That's great.

Thank you. It's kind of unexpected, but... things are so unsure here. One day we're here, the next day we might be gone again. I already thought I'd lost him once. If it does happen, I want this bond to exist, no matter what may come.

[ So yes, he is well aware that they might just disappear, one or both of them, even during the wedding, just before, immediately after. It's all an uncertainty. But then everything in life is. Jim won't let it scare him away from reaching for what he wants. ]

You're invited, of course. Everyone is. But Victor's going to send out proper invitations soon.

Thanks.

[She looks at him curiously. Maybe she shouldn't get into it, but it seems like he's already thought a lot about it himself.]

You think it will be better having that bond if you get separated again? Even permanently?

Yes. [ He says it without an ounce of hesitance, with the kind of certainty of someone who's thought about this a lot and has decided on the answer a long time ago. ]

If we get separated, if I forget... if he forgets. What we have now means something. It will always mean something. Besides, being here or not, it changes nothing. You can always lose the people you love at any given moment, in a myriad of different ways-- it doesn't take being in an alternate reality. I'd never deny myself this, the way I've never denied myself the bonds I've forged with the people in my life back in my own world.

[She nods, taking in his thoughts. They parallel hers in a lot of ways, but she also has all the perpendicular thoughts on this subject leaving her largely in conflict. She's been hurt a lot. She's lost, well, literally everyone on multiple occasions but that isn't something only she goes through. Anyone in a place like this has lost people. But you find people too.]

Mmm...

[She tugs on the chain around her neck, pulling the longer necklace from out of her shirt. On the chain are two lockets and a silver ring with three blue gems. She taps the ring.] This was supposed to be my engagement ring. I found it when I was going through his things after he disappeared. His best friend confirmed it. [She lets the ring disappear from sight again.]

I wonder sometimes if it's better that he disappeared before we could get married or worse. I guess it doesn't really change how much I miss him either way or how hard moving on is.

[ Jim's eyes fall to the ring when she tugs it out of her shirt, realization dawning on him. Now it makes sense why she'd ask him those questions. Not that he's sure it makes much of a difference in the way she feels about it, but maybe it helps cope with it, hearing someone else's perspective. ]

I lost someone, too. Before Victor. We weren't engaged or anything, but... it was hard, anyway. He was gone from one day to the next. Sometimes I feel like I still haven't completely moved on.

[ It's complicated. He really does love Victor, and he doesn't want a life without him now, but Bones will always hold that one special place in his heart. ]

I'm sorry. It's different for each person, I think-- how you work your way through it. For instance, meeting Victor helped me a lot, at the time. I'm not sure how I'd have coped with it all in the long run, if I hadn't met him. But I know I don't regret a single moment that I got to have with that other person.

Yeah...I get that. [All of it really. The not completely moving on. The needing someone else to help get over it. She's still working on not regretting. It's not exactly regret for her as much as guilt. She's pretty far from a marrying Vash place. She's in a feeling like she doesn't do right by him because she's still so in love with Winn place, but also being really glad she has him.]

Do you ever think about what would happen if your someone from before came back? [She thinks about it a lot. Less now than she used to.]

[ Jim had moments, when he first started dating Victor, where he genuinely worried that he was just using him as a way to mend the hole in his heart, just a quick rebound and that he wouldn't feel the same once he was no longer grieving Bones's loss. It was complicated, and he couldn't help feeling guilty back then.

But now, he's glad he decided to give it a shot anyway. He came to love Victor very quickly, and very easily too, and now he knows with certainty that he means everything to him, that he meant a lot even from the start. ]

Yes. All the time, actually. He's... my best friend, back home. He's the person I was closest to before meeting Victor, and he's the person I've known the longest, aside from my mother. So while things would probably be... a little awkward, admittedly, I'd really like to see him again. He's my best friend, and I miss him every single day.

[She wants to ask if he thinks he's stay with Victor, but even she has some boundaries that feel wrong to push. She doesn't know him like that even if she knows a version of him a little better. What she's really wondering is if it's okay to get more serious about someone knowing you'd leave them if the person you love from your past returns. And that's not something she can really look to anyone else for. That's between her and Vash and what they can handle.]

It's definitely extra hard when they were your best friend. [Winn was hers too. But she's far from alone on that front. She has Kurt, Pavel, Tyrion and so many others. She has a lot. She'd do well to focus more on that than everything she's lost.] It's hard to imagine not wanting to see that person again even if it's awkward. [Or heartbreaking.]

[ She could've asked, and he would've answered. Maybe some months ago he wouldn't be as sure of his answer, but now he is. He loves Bones and he always will, but he's no longer in love with him, and even if he were to show up with all his memories from Riverview, Jim wouldn't leave Victor for him. If he ever thought there might be a chance he'd do that, then he wouldn't be marrying him. ]

I do want to see him again. Awkward or not, I miss him terribly, and not having him in my life, it's... been really tough, honestly. [ He smiles softly. ] And I had other close friends too, back in Riverview. None of them are here. Victor's the only one, and... I don't handle losing people very well. It's been hard.

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