B'lire Game-wide Mingle

[passingthrough]

Who: Everyone
Broadcast: Nah!
Action: B'lire in the Drisdim-3 System
When: March 11 to April 5

[Live that Gaston lifestyle, but maybe less French.]

(OOC: System Info.)

Comments

[stillgotmyleftarm]

[Maybe it's just a simple statement - but it's so Steve, that Bucky almost feels like someone slapped him in the face. Because no - Steve never liked guns. He was never comfortable behind them like Bucky was, and he might have carried one but it was not his weapon of choice.

So this - this is a good sign, this is a relief, and something in the line of Bucky's shoulders does relax, even as he perks up when Steve speaks again, and this might be a mistake, but it's out of his mouth before he can even think twice:] Got some extra. If you want.

Don't even have to pay me back. I dunno what I'm gonna do with it, anyway.

[unspangled]

[ Oh, that's very definitely a mistake. Steve's sense of self is still ginger, but there are holdovers from his former life, as Bucky has experienced first hand. His expression closes almost instantly, shuttered and neutral like an old house being boarded up for the winter. ]

That's not necessary. [ Where once they might have been easy with one another, familiar and tangible in words and actions, now there's a gulf. He's not a charity case, the situation isn't that dire. He can afford a knife. To spend more would be imprudent, but his idea of being able to care for himself, without leaning on anyone else, has already been evoked. ] I can make do on my own.

[stillgotmyleftarm]

[Steve's expression may shutter, and yeah, that's not good - but the thing is, Bucky's lips are still twitching up into a smile a second later, because,] Yeah, pal. Yeah, I know you can.

[I can make do on my own is the most Steve thing a person could say; Bucky's hit by a wave of nostalgia, of fondness, as hard as the one of frustration at the answer. He takes in a breath, holds it, and lets it out carefully. He wants to argue, to insist - but where once he might have, he knows that here and now, he shouldn't. This is Steve, trying to be Steve again, and... fuck. Bucky has to let him.

Still,] But you don't have to. If you don't want to. I just - want you to know that. I know you probably don't remember. And you probably don't want me to tell you all about things you can't remember. [If he's learned anything from the other Winter Soldier, from the Bucky Barnes who fell, it's that it's not fair to heap all of that onto a guy who can't remember it.] But I will be here for you, if you decide you wanna take me up on it. Any of it. When you're comfortable.

And - it's okay if you aren't, ever.

[No, it's not, it's so not okay, but Bucky can't say that. He's got to do his best to let Steve make his own decisions. He's trying.]

[unspangled]

[ There's a suspicious glint in his eyes, like maybe Steve can hear everything going on inside Bucky's head. But maybe it isn't that. Maybe it's the reality that, for Steve, people don't act nice to him without some ulterior motive. Maybe he's waiting for a big damn shoe to drop the moment he expresses anything deeply personal.

Maybe he's terrified and unwilling to admit it. ]

I don't know what I want yet, [ He finally says, expression still neutral and uncompromising. ] but I'll think about it.

[stillgotmyleftarm]

[Steve always could read him pretty well; Bucky wouldn't be surprised if he's retained that ability and doesn't even realize it, really.

Even if maybe Steve isn't the only one waiting for some shoe to drop. It feels like everything is tentative, unsure, when he talks to Steve now.]

Okay, [he answers, simply.] That's fair. Don't wanna end up with shoddy workmanship, right?

Even if you don't find something here, you might find something somewhere else. The ships have armories - least, mine does.

[unspangled]

[ He shrugs after a moment, although it's more a light movement of his shoulders than a more obvious physical statement. ]

I can work with most things, shoddy construction or not. But it is easier if your weapon isn't something that's going to fall apart in the middle of a mission. [ Not that it's ever happened to him personally, but he remembers STRIKE team members occasionally having guns jam up and other mishaps. ] I thought those armories were only accessible by security personnel.

[ and now he looks a little thinky about it. ]

[stillgotmyleftarm]

Yeah, it is, [Bucky agrees, with a quiet laugh and a knowing smile. Maybe that doesn't happen anymore, but they'd recovered some weapons more than once that were more rust than anything during the war, and maybe still tried to use them.]

They... kinda are? They get the good stuff, but you can still pick up a standard sidearm if you want one. At least, my ship's security officer let me - but then, he's like, twelve.

[He's... a little older. Probably.

Bucky pauses, then reaches into the bag he's got, and holds said firearm out, safety on of course.] You want this one? I can just get another.