losing it hurt the first time

[somakemelaugh]

Who: Undertaker and WHOEVER!
Broadcast: Video
Action: On the Goldstone, in the lab where Undertaker works
When: Naow


The loss of 20/20 vision had been a crippling thing when his life ended all that time ago and Undertaker found himself thrown to the mercies of the afterlife and what awaited him upon his suicide. No one needed to explain it to him then, but it was a form of control enacted by the gods, designed to keep everyone who followed those same footsteps in check. By degrading vision, something people relied on heavily, and giving them a singular means to correct it, the higher ups were assured that those under their employ would follow the rules.

Only they hadn't counted on Undertaker and what he did to bend those rules. Those first few weeks after his escape had been painful, to say the least. First with the injuries that led to his many scars, then to the headaches as he taught himself painstakingly to live without spectacles. Oh, it hadn't been easy, but it had all been necessary.

Now, it was necessary again, and all in the opposite direction. He was well aware of what he had been missing, forcing himself to cope with only half of the sight he should have had, and what he paid for in the wonders around him, he gained independence. Getting it all back, having his sight not only corrected, but improved, now that one hurt. He had tried to tolerate it, tried to fight through it. But it's quite clear to anyone who comes across him or views the footage that he's having a time of it.

Every few moments, he has to stop what he's doing and cover his eyes. This happens several times before he stops completely and feels his way to a seat in the lab and just sits there, face in both hands, and groans aloud where he thinks no one can hear him.

Poor him. If only he knew...

Comments

[scalpelofmarmora]

Very true. But it seems like there is more than the bare minimum required even if its lacking in some ways. [He's seen worse, been an unwilling part of worse]

Then it is good. It has benefited you in a positive way. That is what is important.

[somakemelaugh]

[Testing himself, he peers out again, but settles a hand over his eyes after a few blinks. Nope, still too weird. He'll have to get used to it, but for now, baby steps.]

Have you ever put a sheet of very thin paper over your face or tried to look through a bit of glass that wasn't quite smooth? That's what the world looked like to me for years. I've forgotten.

[scalpelofmarmora]

I can't say that I have trying to look through a thin sheet of paper, but I have tried to look through things that were distorted. That must have been difficult.

Hopefully it becomes easier quickly.

[somakemelaugh]

[Another giggle.]

Oh, it's not so bad once you get used to it. Losing it hurts less than gaining it back. At least the process then wasn't as abrupt. They don't tend to play around with those augments here, do they?

[scalpelofmarmora]

I will take your word on that. I have neither lost nor gained back my sight. We do occasionally have glitches which run the gambit for what happens.

[somakemelaugh]

Oh? I wouldn't recommend it. If you rely on it, it's hell. If you don't, it's a shock. But tell me, what do you mean, these glitches? Something concerning this fleet? [It wouldn't surprise him if it was.]

[scalpelofmarmora]

So the augments that we have, which is what gives us our various skills, can malfunction and it changes some aspect of us, either mentally or physically. I am a race known as Galra. I was turned human by a glitch. I also had severe OCD and kept disorganizing my ship, much to my shipmate's dismay. Another has been changed into... I believe it was called a mermaid.

[somakemelaugh]

[He giggles again.]

That sounds sinister. Perhaps, in exchange for my renewed vision, I might hide my tools in the lab or put the pillows out in the hallway. Won't I be so very cross with myself when I come to?

[scalpelofmarmora]

It is hard to tell what the glitch might be. Of course, when it is not a physical change, all your decisions seem perfectly normal to you even if they clearly are not.

[somakemelaugh]

I do hope I won't have to go through anything too terrible. This wasn't cheap to begin with and I'd hate to continue paying for it. Though... it might liven things up about this place. Work has been terribly slow in this lab I've been borrowing.

[scalpelofmarmora]

Well, the glitches are essentially free. You don't have to ask anything from them to get it. They do make things more exciting.

To be honest though, I prefer to not have the lab busy.

[somakemelaugh]

But of course I did. I asked for the augment, didn't I? The glitches are just freebies I was never told about before I jumped into that decision.

[Well now that sounded interesting.] Oh? Seen yours busy, have you?

[scalpelofmarmora]

Glitches are also temporary so they would take them back and there is no guarantee you would have gotten something that benefits you in anyway.

I have seen it busy at least on my ship. Not multiple people, but enough.

[somakemelaugh]

No, there isn't. I don't imagine moving everything around for no reason other than it sounded like a good reason would help you if you put something you needed in a place and lost it.

[As amusing as that would be after the fact though. Maybe.] Ah, not something I would envy. It's enough sometimes just dealing with one client at a time and their mourning family.

[scalpelofmarmora]

No, I don't think it would help. That sounds like it would be a terrible way of doing it.

I have never had to deal with a mourning family. There were times though that I think that may have been better.

[somakemelaugh]

[He hums, rolling that around in his head a bit.]

Better than having to find something you've done gone and lost? Do tell. Must be something quite important.

[scalpelofmarmora]

I have not done good things in my life though it was with reason. At least having to deal with mourning families would have meant more... I wouldn't have been doing what I was.

[somakemelaugh]

[Well, there's a telling moment if he's ever seen one. He didn't ask for the information, but it's been his experience that people won't offer something unless they want the story to be told.]

Bit of regret there, I see. I've been no saint myself, but if ever you want to talk about it... My eyes are useless, but the old ears work just fine.

[scalpelofmarmora]

Of course. It is hard not to regret what I have done with my life though I have reasons. Thank you. I will consider the offer, but it is appreciated.

[somakemelaugh]

[He nods. That was more or less what he had expected, but he could live with that.]

And you're welcome, all the same. There are too few people in this fleet as it is. Might not be much for pickings, but I don't think we're a bad bunch here. Least, not all of us.

[scalpelofmarmora]

Agreed. We don't have a lot of people here. We need to support each other as much as possible. If there is anything you ever want to share as well, I am willing to listen.

[somakemelaugh]

[He brings up a finger to tap at his chin with a long nail, considering even though he doesn't even really need to think about it.]

In time, there will be something. There always is, now and then. But before all of that, tea or coffee?

[scalpelofmarmora]

If that is an invitation for a drink, either would be good. I do not see the distinction between the two though others are more picky.

[somakemelaugh]

[That has his amusement all over again.]

Oh? Well, a rare one, you are. I can truthfully say, I've hardly ever met someone who had no preference between the two. I'm partial to tea myself, but I can make any you like. We'll let you take your pick when we meet up.

[scalpelofmarmora]

Neither were common in my world so they are both new to me. I suppose I just never developed a taste for one over the other. If tea is what you prefer, then tea is what we can have. We shall figure out a time to meet up for it.