driftfleet | Naviadna Mingle

[She listens to Lup's words, feeling the aching familiarity in most of them. The worlds she had once called home were long gone, and Central Command was only ever a base. And family... that stung most of all, but that was her reality. She had come back to herself too late. Centuries too late. Millennia too late. Clinging to the hopes of the past that could not be.

But the freedom to make such a choice... to know she would be welcome.

She exhales softly, and at last she eases herself fully into the pool, to join Lup. It was more comfortable than she had expected, once she was able to put off the discomfort of such immersion. It was only water, a substance so mundane and yet... so refreshing.]

... it is.

[Even the words are easier to say now that they're out there. And... she remembers, something very important. About not having to be alone, and that went for Lup as well -- and it would be difficult to hold to that, across a spread of universes, drowned in misery. Time to defeat those expectations. She holds out a hand toward her.]

We are friends, after all.

[Lup accepts the hand, shaking it at first, as if making a deal- and the touch lingers after, something more quietly accepting and intimate. This is no formal business transaction. As Honerva said-]

Damn right we're friends.

[There's no hesitation as she responds, although there is a pause afterwards, as it clicks: just what she's offering, here.]

Oh, shit- right. Uhhh, fair warning, though? We're kinda facing the apocalypse, so your stay might not be as long as you'd like. Iiiiif we lose. I mean, I think we'll make it? I have it on good authority that we do? But I haven't lived it yet, so... it's gonna be a shitshow for a while. So try not to let first impressions spoil it for you? If impending doom doesn't make you think twice, that is.

[She doesn't falter; it wasn't as if she had made the choice on a whim.]

Trading one war for another, is it...

[An understandable thing, for all Lup had already said they had gone through. A darkness that sought to consume... but even she had been brought back.

If nothing else, she takes protecting what's important to her very seriously.]

You will see it through. We will. That will not deter me. It is the adjustment that I would have to prepare for... depending on how this goes, and your separate timelines, there is... no telling where I may turn up there.

Yeah, if you get to pick a timeline to roll with, I suggest Taako's. At least that way you'd get longer than five minutes to acclimate, and he can help you out. I'm not gonna be much use for a while no matter what route you go with.

[She shrugs. The downside of being a magical household object: not much good for providing world tours.

...well, among others, too.]

I appreciate the vote of confidence, though. I kinda like the thought of quasi-surviving the end of the world.

... either way, I will bring you back all the sooner.

[Strange new world facing costly consequences or not, Honerva always feels better when she has a purpose in mind. It's what makes adapting to the time in between harder--she'd always moved from one purpose to another, and any time she hadn't was gone from her memories. Aside from the time on the Fleet.]

It is time that we both stopped losing, after all.

[Provided nothing messed with their memories, but that would be one more bridge to cross. Taako's situation might be more complicated, but... they would have to deal with that.]

....Oh. Oh, shit, I didn't even consider that one.

[If Honerva manages to get there- if she holds on to her memories- she'd remember Lup, remember where she is. And even if the voidfish somehow interferes, surely she'd be able to retain some memory of a person being trapped in the Umbra Staff, right? That info hadn't been fed to Fisher, so it couldn't be blocked by the static. It isn't guaranteed that she would know who until she was inoculated, but... it could work. It could totally work.]

It might be tricky, but... holy shit would I ever owe you one.

Tricky... that is one way to put it.

[She pauses suddenly, as she gives a soft, quick laugh.]

For that matter, I realize I have never once asked the name of your world... and we would have to find a way to explain our connections. Following the thought that some part of my arrival would manage to work in our favor... [Like her managing to get there at all. If she could hold fast to the knowledge about the Umbra Staff and the importance of who was trapped within it, those were other factors they would have to prepare for.] At least I should be asking you the right questions.

Oh shit, I haven't, have I? Actually, you probably know fuck all, huh. I guess I should, like, tell you about the world I'm dragging you to.

[Lup shares the laugh, rolling over to cross her arms on the edge of the pool so she can more easily reach the sweets waiting just behind them, gesturing for Honerva to help herself if she feels so inclined- at the very least, the tea is nice.]

The world's called Abeir-Toril, and it's pretty big, but I haven't really spent any time outside of the continent of Faerun. Actually... if you wanna nitpick, I haven't spent much time outside of anywhere- I got stuck before I could do that much wandering about. I did see a lot while Taako was lugging me around, though, so if you have any questions I can try to answer 'em.

[Honerva turns herself around to follow Lup's lead, still adjusting to being in the water, but she acquieses to taking a cup of the offered tea.]

To be fair, there have always been... other things to discuss.

[Mostly dealing with the now of their current circumstances, and the people, not the places. But if Loki was right, now was really all the time they had to talk about such things. Best to use it while they could. While thinking was still clear.

She nods as Lup speaks, considering her words. It had been a long time since she had thought of the merits of truly... knowing another world beyond it's uses.]

Perhaps the best place to begin would be... the likely points of arrival. And any other points of ... importance.

Hoo boy, that's a nugget. Enjoy that tea, because this'll be a wordy one.

[Lup snags a mug for herself and takes a sip, idly tapping her fingers against the glass.]

Taako's from the earliest point in our time. Mags is the latest, and probably the safest, but I dunno if you'd be able to go with him. [Maybe if bonds don't matter, but... she has a feeling they will.] Taako's time is safe-ish, but he's also living on a secret base on the moon at the time, so explaining how you got there and why would be tricky. Maybe if he remembered you, it'd be okay. But then, I might not remember you before my time.

[Gods this is stupid. Time travel is stupid. She hates that she doesn't know the rules.]

My time's like, half a year later? I think? Concept of time in the umbrella's kinda fucked, but that sounds right. We're in the woods at the time, so the location's... better. Downside being it's basically the morning of the apocalypse, so... that's not great.

[She sips the tea, eyes looking into the cup in thought as Lup speaks.]

So many variables...

[None of them great, and mostly beyond their control at that, at least until they had some idea of the rules they were dealing with, or whether they'd have any say at all. As she considers how to probe further along the lines of what Lup has offered, another thought strikes.]

There is a chance for all of our memories to be compromised at once.

[For one thing, it was very possible they might not remember for certain how their futures were meant to turn out once they got there, with a third timeline in the mix, and Honerva and Taako didn't exactly have the best track records when it came to memory already. Coupled with the possibility of Lup not remembering immediately either if she did arrive at the earliest point instead of the latest... ]

In which case, we should come up with some preventative measure... where if we are in a situation where recollection is not immediately possible, we have a symbol or signal in place that represents... our trust, as much as it might seem inexplicable. What would you recognize?

[Lup pauses for a long moment of thought, staring into her tea as she ponders their options. There's only one factor that remains true in all timelines, that would be the most likely path towards success in all of this. The most reliable person in the whole universe, and the one who remembers it all, to boot.]

...If... if you show up in my time, the guys'll be with a spooky-looking fella in a red robe. Sort of like how I looked, over on the Marsiva? Bit more skeletal, he was balls deep in the necromancy, more than me. And if you show up at any other time, you follow Taako at a distance until you see that red robe. You find him, you look him right in the eye, and you tell him...

[Her shoulders tense, and she exhales deeply. She doesn't know what he'll do, but... he has to at least hear her out. And maybe it'll change things, for better or worse, maybe it'll complicate matters more than any of them know how to manage. But at that point, he'll be the only one who can help- especially if Honerva is affected by the voidfish once she's reached their plane of existence. It has to be something that hasn't been erased, something she can say and something he'd understand.]

...Tell him, "I know where she is." Tell him, you're the new Marleana. Marleana 2.0. I need you to make that name stick in your head, okay? He'll know he can trust you if you say that. He'll know what to do.

[Narrowing down a common thread that consistently existed beyond themselves along the fractured timelines seemed the most important factor to isolate, and Honerva is pleased when Lup is able to do so, giving her a small, encouraging smile at the thought of it. This was direct and tangible, to identify a potential source of... help. She can see the shift in Lup's body language, and can tell that there is a deeper significance in all of this. A person following after them, looking after them, and perhaps the only person to know of Lup's current state, by her words... more promising than if she were to have to act entirely on her own.

Presuming it went well and that she could remember that name... and that staff, though she was sure, having felt Lup's soul and enduring that experience it had to be part of her now, even if all else were blocked. The name, and the description of a specter in those red robes, knowing to search for him, that would be the key.]

Marleana 2.0...

[She was not aware of why that name should be so significant, but it sounded promising. It was a chance. A chance for all of them. If she could remember nothing else let it at least be that.

Quieter, though, after another moment of thought:]

This person I am meant to find... he is the other half of your heart, is he not.

[Lup had never said so directly, but there were too many pieces that seemed wanting. Even if this knowledge might be part of what got taken away later, it only seemed right to affirm it in some manner now.]

[Fifty years ago she might have been embarrassed, but... it's been so long since they finally sorted out their feelings and bit the bullet, since they stopped dancing around the truth and accepted it. Even the idea of trying to conceal it feels absurd. It would be far too obvious a lie, no one would be fooled. Least of all her.

And really... how she feels is important, here. To understand her passion, her desire for a reunion with this man whose only goal for a decade now has been to find her, and to make things right for all of them. She wants to see him again, wants him to see her. She wants to hold him, even if they're nothing but undead spectres, and to ease some of the weight he's been carrying alone for so long. She wants him to know that all his hard work has paid off and that they're close, so close, to that happy ending they all deserve.

Just a name and a broken staff, with Honerva's help. That's all she needs.

So she smiles, cheeks pink (from the heat of the water, surely), and runs a finger along the ring of the mug.]

Technically, that's Taako. [Her heart, her other half, her twin. No lover, no matter how treasured or beloved or significant, could take his place.] But he's... he's the journey, I guess you could say. My life's partner. "The One", if you wanna be dramatic.

[Honerva continues to smile once Lup confirms it, endeared, as much as it was ever the more clear, the way their similarities sort of mirrored no matter how one looked at it.]

I thought it might be so. All the more reason, to ensure that you are reunited sooner.

[Because she is dramatic, and at heart, romantic, and she knew exactly what that entailed. "The journey"... it sounded so whimsical and yet so deep, so familiar, startlingly so, and thinking of it strikes a chord within her, one she can't quite ignore, as much as she was ready to put her all into this purpose. Because she knew what that was like. What it felt like, once, the way it simultaneously felt as though it were so long ago and yet not very, juxtaposed between who she was and who she is, from the time and space in between being so detached from the emotions that used to guide her so often... and even from then, sprung her unwavering loyalty, binding and true.

It... hurt. Pain of a broken heart was unlike any other, having had the love of a man who would have done anything for her, and did, to come to this. She feels an unfamiliar sensation stir within, pressure around and behind her eyes, a tightening in her chest, as she gasps softly, looking down into the mug before closing her eyes tightly. She had opened that can of worms herself but she knew, she knew it was important to know, why. To feel why.]

[She doesn't miss that noise, of course; between their proximity, her big ol' elf ears, and the echoey spa room, it would be hard to miss. She turns immediately, resting a hand on Honerva's shoulder in concern.]

Hey... you okay?

[She can only imagine what it might be- depending on how much she remembers, the thought of completely letting go of what she used to have and lost must be awful. If she had to say goodbye forever to Barry, or to a child if she had one? She can't fathom that.]

[There were... flashes. Flashes so quick and bright that Honerva could scarcely grab hold of them to see, but she could feel what they were. What they were trying to show her. Being together with him was what she knew, there was little else she had been able to scrape up at all that wasn't related to her life with her husband. She illuminated his world and he was her rock, her protector, her lover.

What she might give for her heart to be whole again and not lifetimes too late.

She almost misses Lup's question entirely, but she can feel her presence at her shoulder, a gentle reminder that she was not set adrift on this emotional current completely alone, but still had to contest with that ache that would but send her over the falls.

She manages a very small, quick shake of the head, though she felt... strangled, her body tense, hands tightly gripping the mug, as though she couldn't articulate, or something wouldn't quite let her.]

[...Yeah, Lup can sympathize to a degree. Nothing so gut-wrenching as losing her partner forever, of course, but she knows what it means to lose and miss that part of her, that other half. Not just with Taako, but her lover, her lifemate. She's endured a decade without him, and then spent months so close to him but still impossibly out of reach. It's a terrible, lonely feeling, and she's far from over it.

She can't do much until Honerva's willing to talk about it, though, so for the moment she edges closer, keeping her hand where it is to support her, waiting until she's ready. She wouldn't do this for just anyone - Taako would probably gun for a distraction tactic, which might honestly be wiser in some cases - but she knows when it's a necessity. She's had these moments herself.]

[It takes her some time. A considerable amount of silence, of long moments, to allow the emotion to sink in and resonate instead of rushing toward the next purpose. No wonder when such a wave would hit her, it would hit all at once and take her so off guard. She hadn't truly had the safety to do that before, to experience it, and it was...

Scary. Intense, but... she'd set it aside so many times. Felt the pressure of it and wrenched herself toward something else. Distraction. Anything else. But she wasn't alone, right here, with it all, and that made all the difference. It might have swallowed her up right then and there otherwise.]

... this pain, Lup.

[Her voice is soft, a raggedness through the tightness of her throat, dampness at her eyelashes as she blinks, rapidly, but if she could not admit it there then where else? Who else with? Her son would have no part of her, her entire universe would be better off without her presence, she knew this, she felt this. And yet here, there was one person who said there would be a place for her. If they could make it work. If she could trust in that. She had to trust in Lup as she had before.]

I cannot... fully remember the journey we shared... but I feel it. How can I keep any of this close without my heart shattering all over again, every time...?

[An awful question with a lot of weight, certainty, but she never truly did anything by halves.]

[She winces, hesitating a moment, before the hand on Honerva's shoulder slides into an arm around her, tucking her in close. The water makes it easy to move, at least, and she doesn't know if this is the right thing to do yet, but it feels necessary. This poor woman probably doesn't get many hugs.

...Well, neither does she, so at least it's a mutually beneficial gesture.]

I wish there was an easy answer to that question. I've asked myself the same thing plenty of times over the years.

[To live is to endure pain- she's heard such things said before, and there's truth in it. But she's lived long enough and endured enough pain to know that's never going to be all there is. That line needs a few more sentences tacked on if it wants to encompass all that life has to offer.]

I'll tell you this, though. You've lived a long time, so you must understand what that means. You might watch people that you met as a kid grow up, grow old, and then die before you even begin to form wrinkles. When I hooked up with my guy, we were stuck in a cycle of life and death where we didn't age, so it was safe- but even then, it still took me like, thirty years to admit to him that I wanted something more. Because we were gonna end that cycle eventually, and start aging again. And he's human- a middle-aged human. We'd have, what, 40, 50 years together? If we were lucky? And then I'd have to live without him. For like, five hundred years, without my soulmate. The thought of it terrified me.

[At least, with Taako, they were on the same page. Born the same day, they'd always assumed they would die the same day, too- killed out on the road, most likely, or by their own stupid hubris. That's just the way they lived. But if somehow they survived that long, their lifespans aligned as elves. Falling for humans... that's different. Risky. Sooner or later it hurts you.]

I don't have any regrets, though. Getting close to someone means that, one day, you're gonna lose them- that's how life works. Only gods are truly immortal, us sucker mortals aren't so fortunate. But we get to live, we get to take chances and explore and learn about each other. This pain is real, Honerva-

[She reaches up, pressing a free hand to her chest.]

It's real and it fucking hurts and I get it, I do. But it only hurts because what you had was real, too. And what you can have in the future, what you'll experience by living and trying new things and meeting new people- that's real, too. You hold that pain deep in your gut and you use it to push yourself into whatever comes next. That's how you hold together- pain's like, the glue for your bomb-ass future. [She smiles.] Hearts are a lot stronger than you think they are.

[Her rigidness melts away at the embrace. It's absolutely been forever, and thus it is even surprising, if she weren't just in the middle of having a moment here, of... of legitimately needing to fold and just listen to someone else for a while. The sort of question one asks when they need something, anything to cling to, to believe in, that might draw them out and away from that haunted bleakness. And Lup, for all her experiences, for all she was willing to accept, was one such light.

Lup spoke of experiences, to help contextualize it all. There was something there, about the experience of living, from the perspective of being in a cycle where not much changed but one plane to the next, but they still grew from it, still had one another, and that only drove home the lack, the emptiness, that Honerva still felt. The consequences of having being so detached, at being alive and yet not truly living in a deathless stagnation, for an absurd amount of centuries, even throughout her son's growth, she'd missed so much. Lup continues to speak, however, and even smiles and Honerva listens, there, quiet for a few beats.

Glue, really? To build strength from it, to have the experiences hold together, at the core? ...Well. She did have to build anew anyway. And she did not want to scour others with her pain, the way the Emperor had vowed to obliterate anything that reminded him of her from his conquered universe, his weakness. No wonder she'd turned to the stars, even when they had nothing to give.

... But the experiences were real, the pain was real. And maybe someday her heart wouldn't shatter to remember it. If she could but grasp the memories, to see her past self as a whole person. To remember what that was like.]

Just to live...

[It's mostly a whisper, from her still too tight throat, as though what she might really need is a way to relieve these pent up emotions, though she is so inexperienced with even that. Just to cry, just to feel it and breathe, in that moment.]

... seems that I still have a lot to learn... about that.

...Well. [Lup grins, shameless and almost gleeful, but with a layer of softness beneath. Recognition and understanding, and a degree of care that's getting easier to show.] Thankfully you will find no better teacher of how to live your best godsdamned life than yours truly. And my world's not so bad, I think you'll like it when you get there. Lots to do, lots to see, people to hustle, movie scrolls to watch. We'll take you to Fantasy Costco and buy you some magic swag to play with... it'll be great. You'll be so distracted by all the cool shit we've got that you won't have time to dwell on the sad.

[And the when is emphatic, because she's determined, now. They're going to make it happen, one way or another.]

[That sure is a heck of a lot of warmth and confidence that Lup is exuding right there, but most of all she hears that when, the reassurance that she wouldn't be alone, amidst all the other words, said with such a surety that she believes in it, too.

There is still pain of course, still ever so real, but it's less jagged, the more her friend speaks, puts those new ideas out there, making it a little easier to breathe, the more the concepts begin to sound more tangible. Simple, but promising; that was part of it all too, the learning, the discovering. All the more reason to help thwart an apocalypse--hell, probably even two, for all she knew that might be waiting for her elsewhere.]

... yeah.

[A soft agreement, her rare moments of informal speech that she's picked up from just being around them. Her eyes are still damp, but she manages a small smile for Lup, too.]

We have a lot of work to do, but... we will get there.

[Aww, you said a slang. She's so proud of you.]

That's the spirit! And you can grill me about all our weird magic bullshit as much as you want as it comes to mind, my fount of knowledge is endless.

[Not... actually true, considering she spent most of her time on that world in a cave, but she can take a list of questions to throw at Taako and Mags later.]

Then... you can count on the fact that I will have many questions.

[True, there was much she could pick up on in her usual observing way, but there was so much more involved with getting to know a new world, how it worked, what was expected. It was not the first time, not that she could remember that process.

Her smile fades slightly, allowing the levity to pass, and breathes again. There is something she still needs to say, needs a moment to grasp the words.]

... Thank you, Lup. [Another pause, her tone again, softer.] ... I do not know if there are any words that can truly describe... what this means to me.

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