006 // spoiler alert

[serpentis]

Who: Dorian Pavus
Broadcast: YOU KNOW IT! FLEET WIDE.
Action: Only if you can find him!
When: RIGHT MEOW.

[Dorian is reading from a book with a woman and a man on the gover, clearing his throat and grinning impishly.]

Ah, good afternoon. I thought I might treat you to this book I found. Let's see here...

[He flips through the pages]

“He gives us a sack of tatties of a Friday. And sometimes after kirk he delivers a haggis..." No, that started promising, but that's not it, let's see here...

[He flips through the pages, frowning to himself, occasionally looking slightly scandalized, he gets nearly through the whole book, when FINALLY.]

Ahah! Here we are.

[He clears his throat, and starts in. As he reads, he's a positive ham about it.]

“Savages such as you, such as I.” He kissed her lightly at first, his lips brushing against hers and his hands sliding down her sides.

“Is that what we are, Gavin Macgregor? Savages?” Gavin pulled away from her, sucking her lip softly between his and tasting every inch of the woman he’d loved for his entire life for the first time. He tilted his head to one side. “Ach, you may be more savage than me by twice.”

So close that their breath mixed between them, the walls around the pair seemed to vanish. Kenna slid her hands down Gavin’s arms, her fingers bouncing over every little muscle and tendon. She looked down at his chest, then back into his eyes, lost in the ocean she found.

Words, words, I don't even know half of what this man is saying...here we go...

She closed her eyes and Gavin kissed her along her jaw, behind her ear. Kenna’s skin prickled to life where he kissed, and where the heat from his palms burned through her dress.

[And then he flips the page, and then again. There are only a handful of pages left in the book.]

...that's it? I was hoping for more than just a single kiss!

[He makes a disgusted noise and pitches the book over his shoulder.]

Comments

video;

[hymnals]

... this is smut. You're broadcasting smut. Put that fucking filth away.

[His ear tips are bright red. Think of the CHILDREN.]

video;

[serpentis]

It's hardly smut! If it were smut it would at least have been marginally interesting.

video

[wilder]

[He sighs]

Hah, oh yeah I forgot about that one. Total disappointment.

video

[serpentis]

[He sighs softly.]

We'll have to tell Krista to institute better quality control. Drift Fleeters For Better Smut, don't you think?

Action

[wolfuncaged]

[This is what happens when you go for a shower and leave Dorian alone with your things. He should have learned by now, but evidently he has not. He's halfway back into the main room of his rather fancy hotel suite, towelling his hair dry, when he realises what Dorian is actually doing.

He exhales, watching the book go sailing past and landing on the floor behind him. Cassandra is going to kill him. She is actually going to kill him. He's going to die. ]

You know. I hadn't finished that.

[Spoilers, jerk.]

Action

[serpentis]

[Dorian shrugs carelessly.]

Honestly, with what a disappointment it was, you ought to be thanking me.

video;

[openhands]

[She's going to kill Fenris. She's going to kill Dorian first. But Fenris is next.]

[But she's also angry because he just read the ending. How could he read the end like that? Also, there's probably the part where he's reading smutty literature where children could here. And Cassandra can hear.]

[Is she slightly red because she's blushing or because she's angry? THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW, BUT SHE HOPES YOU'RE SATISFIED, DORIAN.]

What is wrong with you?

video;

[serpentis]

Wrong with me? Nothing in the least! I am as effortlessly flawless as I've ever been, Seeker. Have you seen me?

[A pleasant smile.]

[blightedson]

I see literature hasn't approved much in space.

[serpentis]

Decidedly not. I had such hopes, but there's nothing even titillating in this one!

[child_of_bhaal]

Gods, that's terrible! Who wrote that so I can smack them? The imagery is so odd and disjointed. Who bounces their fingers when they're running their hands over someone's arm? You know what that looks like?

[She lifts one arm and demonstrates. She's basically drumming her fingers all the way down her arm. It's decidedly the opposite of anything sexy.]

Is she lost to the ocean that's his chest or his eyes? Are they the same ocean? How is he able to taste every inch of her when he'd only kissed her mouth? This book is clearly a mess.

[Because this is the real issue here. Bad writing.]

[serpentis]

I should have guessed that you'd take issue with that, Syeira! You ought to read the rest of it.

video

[deshabille]

I know you can't tell from looking at me, but I've just recovered from a swoon. You shouldn't read these things in public, you have no idea how they might affect people.

video

[serpentis]

Oh, I do enjoy causing a good swoon. Now you're only encouraging me.

video; ...incoming tag from Cullen too jsyk!

[princessia]

[ This sounds like story time and Elize wouldn't mind listening to a good story. She allows herself to show up on the video feed, sitting down with her hands folded on her lap, just to let him know that she's there, quietly listening...

"He kissed her lightly at first-" ... Okay, the start makes her look flustered already. There's kissing in this story? ]

[serves]

[Suddenly, there are large hands covering Elize's ears. It's followed by what is unmistakably Cullen's exasperated voice.]

Dorian. There are children here.

audio

[dancingmd]

[Excuse Beverly for a few minutes while she tries to stop laughing, without much success. When she finally calms down, she clears her throat.]

Ahh, I suppose I should be offended by this affront to my heritage but this was just too funny. Thank you for that!

audio

[serpentis]

I do aim to please. Are you from this place, then? What was the significance of the thistle? I'm afraid I don't quite understand.

[realhumanbeing]

It'd be better if we had way more backstory.

[serpentis]

Oh, there was plenty of that, I was just skipping to the better parts of it.

Audio;

[justamobster]

Kids don't need t'hear that kinda bushwa, yeah?

[ It's a good thing he defaults to audio, because yeah. Ladon's red as a beet just from hearing that much. Kissing! So scandalous! Think of the children and prudish mobsters! ]

Audio;

[serpentis]

It was only a kiss! You hardly sound like a child.

video;

[pirasea]

Just a kiss? Poor Kenna must be dreadfully disappointed.

video;

[serpentis]

As we all are, believe you me. I was hoping for something entirely more exciting than a single kiss.

[poetontheinside]

Is there gonna be someone reading those kinda books at every place I work at, or what? I don't get the appeal!

[serpentis]

I do hope the last one you heard was more exciting!

video.

[dirth]

[ A small curl of his lips and, then - ]

Not quite up to the level of Master Tethras, I see.

video.

[serpentis]

Decidedly not. His story would at least have twice the number of heaving bosoms.

[He smiles pleasantly.]

video

[destinyembrace]

....that's it?

[Wait, did she say that out loud?]

I mean, I thought those harlequin books had more... you know...

video

[viran]

I see you still disapprove of m--- [He catches himself before he can refer to a conversation the two of them never had, though he and another Dorian had in another time.] Ah. You were quite the critic of my taste in books back home.

[Welp this just went from zero to really weird in two seconds. Mahna's just going to roll on through it like it never happened.] Perhaps you should write your own.

video

[serpentis]

[Haha what's weird nothing's weird.]

Oh, perhaps I should. Something that would properly make my ancestors roll in their graves.

[He brings a hand to his chin, thinking.]