driftfleet | i know you, i walked with you once upon a dream

Entry tags:

i know you, i walked with you once upon a dream

[ Calibration Rooms ]
( for A-M characters )

Before you post your toplevel comment, please:
1. Check the first letter of your character's name as its written in our tags. A-M names comment here, and N-Z names go to the other post.
2. Make a note in your comment if anything especially triggering or graphic might show up in the Calibration. If you're not sure if something's worth noting or not, we suggest listing it anyway, just to err on the side of caution.
3. Put your character's name (it can be shortened or different from the tag, this time) in the subject of your comment. This will help visitors find you easily, and help us update the list below.
4. Post your comment! It's fine if everyone's Calibrations end up looking and reading very different from one another. As long as you're having fun and following our guidelines, you're good to go. :)
5. If you have any questions or concerns during Calibrations, you are welcome to send them towards the mod team at any time, as always.

ROOMS BY CHARACTER

A - C

Aurae "Tempest" Le Paulmier

Arthur Kirkland

Asuka Shikinami Langley

D - F

Furiosa

G - I

J - M

Lunafreya Nox Fleuret

Peggy Carter

Maglor

Max Rockatansky

Merlan Margaret O'Keefe

Mikleo

Mon-El

(last updated: 6/18/17)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ When his eyes adjusted, the prison materialized around him and left Rick gaping slightly. How could he wind up back in the prison? Once, they all believed the prison would be their place but the Governor ripped it away from them. Something similar Negan wanted to do with Alexandria.

His gaze lingered on the table for a moment but he moved forward to try and find Carl. It seemed to be a common theme with how often Carl ducked away and tried to do too many things on his own, which Lori would have felt proud over.

When he found his son, he looked up with a sigh. ] What're ya doin', Carl? How are we here?

[ The prison is peaceful. The silence combined with the sunlight streaming through the windows seems almost normal. Like some sort of life could actually be had. His dad's voice knocks his focus back. ]

We lived here. [ As much as that is an explanation for why they're here.. Truth be told, his dad being there makes more sense than anyone else that has showed up. ]

Yeah, I know, Carl, but not for a good while. [ Their words nearly felt eerie in the otherwise silence. The prison when they actually lived there had been very noisy and filled with activity. Now, it seemed hollow, much as they probably all felt inside. ]

[ He tilted his head to the side. ] How's about we get out of here.

[ He stands up, moving down the staircase to meet Rick. Even in the ample sunlight, Carl's form remains in shadow, quite like that darkened hallway. Looking toward it with some amount of trepidation, he shakes his head. ]

Not yet.

[ If Rick pays that hallway any mind, it will feel like its own entity. Attention paid to it will yield an eerie, two-toned whistle, one he should be more than familiar with. ]

[ Carefully trained eyes tracked all of Carl's movements and he continued to catalogue everything in the space around them. Even the smallest details could prove useful and life saving at a moment's notice.

A paranoid way to look at things but life made Rick that way. ]

Alright, Carl, then what do we do first?

There's not a lot you haven't already seen yourself.

[ Most of those memories, Rick was nearby. Enough that he knows how it went. There are few that aren't, though he's not sure how Rick will handle them.

He doesn't think he can show him mom. ]

[ A slow nod followed Carl's words as if it all made sense but it didn't. Nothing in the past few days made any sort of sense, though. The new story of his life it seemed. ]

What do I need to see before we can leave? [ He figured Carl had some reason for why they couldn't find the exit already. ]

You have to look around.

[ He leads Rick to the cell, looking at him as way of permission. As if he ever needed permission to step into Carl's space.

[ The cell is situated the same as all the others, a metal bunk bed with mismatched bedding and a desk opposite that. On the bed sits a sheriff's hat which has seen better days, frayed and eaten at the edges and its color sun-faded. Wrapped around the upper post of the bed, there is a crimson scarf that seems out of place. On the desk sits a small crank music box, a silencer, a stack of mismatched comics, a candy bar resting on top of the stack, and a billiard ball. There is a broken roller skate abandoned underneath the desk. ]

[ Of course, he needed to look around but he paused at the entrance of the cell until Carl looked at him. He stepped in soon after, eyes sweeping around the area.

After a silent deliberation, he decided to pick up the crank music box. ]

[ As soon as Rick's hand is on the music box, it begins to play. Quietly at first, but the tinny music rises in volume. The melody is easy enough to follow. The memory starts to morph around Rick as it does. One of the abandoned utility rooms. Something is wrong.

The memory starts just as abruptly as it ends, the words still ringing in your ears.

I'm gonna die. Mom. There's no way to be able to be ready for it.

There wasn't. ]

[ The music unsettled him, the tune pushing along his skin and picking up the beating of his heart. It felt mournful and he couldn't understand why until the memory starts to play instead.

Lori.

The breath all but left his lungs and it took all his willpower to not outwardly react, especially from the words she gasped out and the obvious pain when the --

A tremble worked up and down his spine as bile rose in his throat. Carl had to - He never really explored the possibilities of Judith's birth and Lori's death too much because he knew where his mind would end up. But maybe it hadn't been fair to Carl to not talk it out and try to move past it together.

The loss weighed along both of them and as much as he blamed himself, he imagined Carl did far more.

Shaking, he tried to ignore all the thoughts now slamming around in his mind. It made his head ache. Instead, he reached for the sheriff's hat as a way to distract himself.

Lori.

He couldn't fix it. He couldn't change it or make it better for Carl.

I couldn't put it back together. ]

[ He blames himself. Of course he does, but it gets compartmentalized for later. Later being never.

The search for Sophia is still going. She's your friend, you don't want to abandon her somewhere in the woods anymore than the rest of the group does. Your dad and Shane are the two that volunteer to keep the search alive by the creek while the others search a different area. You volunteer to go with them. She's your friend, if you do find her, it might make her feel better.

You've covered a lot of ground already with no sign of her. Out ahead of you, the foliage rustles. You all freeze in case it's a walker. Something else entirely happens.

A deer. It walks out slowly, bending at the neck to eat a bit of grass. When his head pops back up, those ears like satellite dishes turn to and fro. Even as you start to slowly creep toward it, it doesn't move. The deer sees you and it still stays put. An amazed smile spreads across your face and you carefully reach out. You can hear your dad hissing Shane's name and the sound of a gun being lowered.

You close two more steps, your hand only a few feet away. Two things happen so quickly, all you can hear is your dad screaming your name. A sound like a thunderclap and being hit in the side by what feels like a train. It hurts, you collapse to the ground and the memory fades.

Pain. Everything is agonizing pain. You don't know where you are or what's happening, but mom and dad are there. The memory fades again.

The next time you wake up, there's still pain, but it doesn't feel like your spine is about to try and burst out of your stomach. You open your eyes and your dad is sitting in the chair next to the bed. Your throat is sore, but you push past it. ]

Hey, dad.

Hey. [ He clears his throat, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. One hand reaches up to rub the stubble that's been growing. ] Carl, I told you something earlier today about Sophia..

I know. Mom told me. [ She hadn't actually been found. ]

Here I was getting ready to confess.. I didn't mean to lie. I just didn't want to worry you. It's a stupid excuse, but it's all I got.

It's okay. [ He sounds sincere about it. You know he didn't do it to be a liar. He has his reasons. ] Do you think we'll find her?

I know we will. Well.. [ He sighs wearily. ] I don't know, but I truly believe it.

You look tired. [ You think about it for only a moment, smiling. ] Hey, I'm like you now. We've both been shot. Isn't that weird?

[ Dad grimaces, but softens it with a smile. ] Yeah, I think your mother would rather hear we got the same eyes.. So let's keep that between us. [ He moves to the edge of his seat, plucking his hat from the floor next to him. He places it on your head as he talks. ]

Since you're in the club now, you get to wear that hat. Didn't you know? We'll pad the rim tomorrow so it sits better.

[ With how you're laying, the hat isn't so much on your head as it is covering most of your face. You bring your hand up so you can see dad. See him smiling at you like you're the world. ] Won't you miss it?

Maybe you'll let me borrow it from time to time.

We can share it.

Okay. Sleep now.

Okay. I love you, dad.

I love you. [ You close your eyes and let the hat fall back over your face. You fall asleep surrounded by the smell of dad and the memory fades out. ]

Edited 2017-06-17 04:15 (UTC)

[ Even on the best of days, the gunshot haunted him, tugging away at the security he once felt. If he couldn't keep Carl safe, he couldn't do anything. And through the long months, it had been one wrong move after another, each with Carl experiencing the absolute fallout from it. He had been shot twice, lost so many he cared for and now Rick discovered how things went with Lori.

He should have fixed their relationship and swallowed his pride. He also should have allowed for her to have her own choice in terms of Judith and not pressed for her to have the baby. The betrayal; he should have pushed it aside and made them a family again.

How different things would be if Lori lived. But couldn't he say the same for all the others? Dale, Andrea, Glenn, Hershel, Abraham, Bob, Beth, Denise, Olivia, Deanna and all the others. How differently would have Deanna treated the threat of Negan? Probably, far better than his solutions to the matter.

Eyes moving back and forth through the scene, he felt his heart clench tightly in his chest. The original shot resounded in his mind and made Rick want to wrap Carl up tightly. He almost lost him then and without Hershel, he would have. The very same with Denise. They lost so many. ]

I love you. [ He repeated the words a few times, knowing he should say them far more but his own parents never voiced the words much. It took time but he knew he needed to become more affectionate to make up for the loss of Lori.

Breath leaving slowly, he reached for the billiard ball. ]

Love you too.

[ They haven't really said it to one another in a while, though he thought they didn't really need to. Carl's never felt lacking in the parental love department. Actions always speak louder than words, and if Rick's ever made anything crystal clear, it's that he would tear the world asunder if it meant his kids were safe. Whenever it came down to choosing him over someone else, he's never had to be uncertain whether he was going to live.

As Rick reaches for the billiard ball, Carl's hand comes out to grab him by the wrist with a small shake of his head. ]

You already saw how that ended.

[ Spencer, with his guts spread on the ground. Olivia dead on the porch. Negan covered in blood. He doesn't want to see the in between. Waiting for his dad to show up, Negan taking rule of the house. Holding Judith like she was something precious. Judith is something precious, but Carl's blood nearly boiled. The only thing that stopped him from bashing his brains in was the repercussions.

Instead, he nods toward the scarf looped around the bedpost. An even less-pleasant memory, but maybe something Rick needs to see. Maybe he will be less angry about it than he would where Judith is concerned. Carl, at the very least, had taken care of himself. ]

[ While Rick cared a lot, he never really expressed it too readily with words, being far better with action. There were so many ways his emotions were shown but not everyone knew or took the time to decode it. But he never wanted Carl to feel unloved, especially now without Lori to shower him with affection. She had always been the one to offer plenty of hugs along with all the emotional expressions. Rick tried, he really did, but his family raised him to keep emotions at bay. He never really heard I love you growing up but he never felt unloved either.

He really took after his dad, Carl's grandfather, in a lot of ways.

The feel of Carl's hand sent another wave of confusion because if they were hallucinations he shouldn't have felt anything. When he 'saw' Lori, he never felt her, in fact, she never moved too close to him at all. He heard things with the phone but he tried to not remember too much about those moments.

Nodding his head, he aborted his motion and reached instead for the scarf.

He needed to see what Carl wanted him to, for better or for worse in whichever way it turned out. It would add in some clues, hopefully, about their current situation. A strange way to bond but the Grimes men never did anything the usual way. Again, a mark of how his own parents raised him. But he always tried his best. ]

[ Your heart is pounding in your chest so loudly you think he can hear it- strolling leisurely in front of you, occasionally looking back to throw you a smirk. You want nothing more than to beat him over the head with the tray in your hands, but you don't. There's no way you'd make it out of there. The bedroom- though it's more like a hotel suite- is more lavish than you thought. Like something a Bond villain would have.

In a way, it kind of fits.

Just like before, everything starts, with you in the middle. These are not pleasant memories by any means, but things could have gone so much worse. They end, leaving you conflicted. Vulnerable. Exposed.

The hummed melody gets caught in the back of your head as the prison comes back into view.

You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away. ]

[ White hot rage flooded Rick as the memory started to fade and his emotions were once again his own. Negan. Never before had he wanted to rip apart someone limb from limb until they were a gaping mess down at his feet. It invoked an entirely new darkness to churn up within him and he needed to take a few deep breaths to try and will the murderous intents away. For now, they were stuck somewhere else without the man nearby. But when they encountered each other again it would be the end of him.

Officially.

Rick planned to slit Negan's neck as he should have a long time ago. ]

This is what I meant, Carl, you're much stronger than the rest of us. [ Rick wouldn't have been able to hold back when provoked so strongly without all the others around. The kneeling incident being a rare exception because of all the odds being too much against them at the time. Never again would such a thing happen to them. ] You just gotta think more before ya do things, alright?

[ He's not strong, though. There are so many things he's not been strong enough to do that Rick would have done without batting an eye. Sneaking into the Savior's compound had been reckless, but enough had been enough. His anger at the situation and nobody doing anything about it had boiled over enough to make him act.

Honestly, he'd had no idea what he would have even done had he been able to kill Negan. There's a very high possibility that he'd be dead, in any case. It would have been worth the cause.. despite how it would have made people feel.

Carl shakes his head, looking anywhere but at his dad. ]

I was.

[ Every single choice they made shifted back and forth what further choices they had to choose from. One false move caused everything to tumble down and leave them in a worse state than they were to begin with. Rick knew how to act but he also knew when to hold back and reevaluate a situation first. Starting a war changed everything, not only situations but people too. He knew the possible aftermaths and how little people could actually stomach it without the training for it. Their people were still reeling from so much loss, how could he toss them into deeper waters without a way to float?

The others didn't understand his hesitations, though, and he couldn't blame them. But they had to be smarter about things if they wanted a future. ]

We've always got to look at the bigger picture, Carl. Can't just be the heat of the moment emotions. Those get not only you killed but others you care about. Sometimes, you got to look over things and see where to really go from there.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

i know you, i walked with you once upon a dream

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject