driftfleet | Voice

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Voice

Who: Kaneis Major
Broadcast: Voice, all fleet.
Action: SS Wonderduck
When: This week!

[What's this? An actual transmission from Kaneis? It's on voice only, and guess what- he sounds as apathetic as ever.]

Hey, I don't want to alarm anyone, but I was looking at the scans earlier while trying not to crash into these space rocks- asteroids? Whatever.

Anyway, you remember those guys that tried to kill us about two months ago? The guys that kicked the living crap outta us? Those guys? Yeah, I think they're back again. At least, that's what the scanner says, it's hard to really get a good read.

[He gives a yawn] Yeah. Just thought someone would like to know.

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Is the food on the ship not to your liking?

[There's no judgement in his tone, it's pretty gross. ]

...

Are those the little donkeys that you hit with sticks to get treats out of? I still do not understand the appeal. Do children hate the donkey?

Is it to anyone's liking?

[Since yes seriously, it's hella gross.]

Yeah, those things. And I dunno, they might- they're also called asses after all. Though it's probably more about liking the violence and getting stuff for it.

No. But it is food, at least. We have had worse in Exsilium.

[He will never forget Canned Surprise. Never.]

It seems they teach their children young, then. No wonder they faced such a horrific war.

That's an unfair card to play. Everything was always worse in Exsilium.

[ITS THE CRAPPIEST OF ALL STANDARDS. And seriously Fenris are you really judging another people for the violent tendencies ARE YOU REALLY]

You know, I'm not sure the pinata could be blamed for that war. Then again, I've never done one, so what do I know?

Well. Yes. I think that was the point.

[He is the King of the Hypocrites, sitting on his throne of hypocrisy. ]

I'm sure it was not the cause of it, but it would certainly aide a warlike mindset.

...Then again my room was bigger there...until it got blown up anyway.

[Still! Wasn't a bad room!]

Maybe. So I take it Thedas doesn't have games like that? [Or is it BEAT THE APOSTATE UNTIL THEY SPILL GUTS?]

Hmm, true. I was simply glad when we finally earned our own rooms.

Not that I have noticed. Perhaps in Orlais. It is a strange place.

Orlais? I think that place was mentioned sometimes in Varric's books. [Often with colorful metaphors and emphasis or weirdness] Is it really that weird?

Ah, yes. Likely our little adventure in Chateau Haine.

[His tone suggests he didn't enjoy that little adventure. He's 99% sure Hawke took him just because the man knew it would piss him off. Fuck his Hawke, man. ]

It is. They are a people who seem to delight on being as obnoxious and strange as possible. They base their entire political worth on something they call the Game. From what I gather, it involves being exceptionally obtuse while wearing a smile.

They also seem to think that calling elves 'rabbit' is less racially offensive than calling us 'knife ears' on account of the fact it's 'cute'.

[He considers that for a moment, imagining that.]

...Sounds a lot like home.

[A beat]

Except the calling elves "rabbit" part. That's just stupid.

It's ridiculous. If we were not there for stealth reasons, I would have bunched that blighted noble for such a remark.

I would've had half the mind to punch him anyway. Sure, punching nobles tends to lead you into a lot of trouble but sometimes? it just feels so satisfying.

[Fenris makes a rumbling sound which could almost be a chuckle. ]

I think it is a combination of the crunch of their nose and the offended fluffing afterwards.

[Ah yes, that sound. The sound that makes for one of the reasons Zelos can't put down straight up "heterosexual" on forms.]

Ha- yeah. That's gotta be it!

[He does what he can to up the gay in the world.]

Regardless, I doubt we'll see any of them here.

[And then Leliana shows up. OOPS. ]

...Uh huh. Now that you said that, we will.

[SWEET GODDESS FENRIS]

I don't subscribe to such superstitious nonsense.

[Fenris, you come from Thedas, the world that goes out of its way to screw you over. ]

...I'll bet you- [Dig in his pocket to see what he has - 10 credits.

[That gets a small amused huff. He has the money to spare.]

Certainly. If you like.

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