i'm gonna show you crazy

[deshabille]

Who: Everyone on the SS Caprine!
Broadcast: None :(
Action: mingle mingle mingle
When: month-wide, get in here whenever you want

[hey everybody it's a mingle]

[when you're not sunbathing on planet sandals beach resort, GET IN HERE]

Comments

[deshabille]

[Mal spends the majority of her time in the engine room, still working at that lightspeed thing that Beverly was talking about. She has approximately zero idea what she's doing, but that won't stop her from trying. Nine times out of ten, if you walk past the engine room, you can hear loud clanking and the occasional swear.]

[When she's not working, she's stalking through the ship, keeping an eye on her crew and making sure they don't blow anything up. At least not anything she wouldn't blow up. Find her anywhere and everywhere!]

[experiencepoints]

[Mal can likely find Nightingale on the bridge, looking out at the planet like it's going to bite.]

Why is it water?

[deshabille]

[She's noticed Nightingale's caginess about the planet, but frankly has no idea where it comes from or what to do about it. After a moment's hesitation, she crosses the bridge to look out at the planet with her.]

What's wrong with water?

[experiencepoints]

[It takes her a second to respond, not wanting to dump too much on the captain at once- let's not mention the horrible drowning and shit.]

... Can't swim.

[deshabille]

I can't either. Someone can teach you.

[Which is Mal's way of politely calling bullshit. There's something else, even if it's just a phobia.]

[experiencepoints]

Why don't you have someone teach you instead, then?

[deshabille]

I plan to.

[experiencepoints]

Have fun with that.

[deshabille]

I will, and so will you.

[nextlineis]

[Hopefully there isn't a thing you need out of the kitchen, Mal. Because there's currently a 6'5" obstacle in your way on the floor that has lost the will to live. He knows someone is there, but this place has truly revealed itself to be nothing short of hell. So, he doesn't move. He just keeps laying there with an arm over his eyes with an occasionally very sad sigh. Is he protesting? Is he depressed? Yes. Yes, he is absolutely doing both. And in the process being not just obstructive, but also ineffectual.]

[Don't step on his scarf.]

[deshabille]

[She steps on his scarf almost immediately. It's just sort of lying there dangling in the middle of the floor; she can't help it. Even if she could, she probably wouldn't.]

[Looking down at this man who is a full foot taller than her, she thinks: yeah, I could probably take him, and nudges him in the ribs hard with her boot.]

What's this supposed to be, now?

[nextlineis]

[He swats in the vague direction of where the boot came from without lifting his arm to look.]

There's nothing to eat.

[deshabille]

[She avoids the swat easily, then kicks at his hand. Not hard! But enough to sting a little. Her boots are very sharp.]

Yes there is. There's plenty.

[nextlineis]

[Okay, that makes him move his arm finally to glare at he...him? Him. He shakes his hand out before rolling over onto his stomach and accusingly pointing up at the horrible, awful, and completely offensive food machine.]

That is not food.

[deshabille]

Really? I could have sworn it was.

[She shifts her weight to one hip, raising her eyebrows sardonically.]

Define food for me, then, please.

[nextlineis]

[Is this guy crazy or stupid? Joseph thinks very loudly. So loud it's very plain on his face. Because only a crazy and/or stupid person would ask a question like that. For a moment, he just doesn't even know what to say and just lets the arm that was pointing drop on the floor.]

[After a few more second pass, Joseph gets up, walks over to the machine and hits a button.]

It. Looks. Like. Shit.

[And he's not even being dramatic. (Okay, he is being a little bit. But he's not particularly exaggerating right now.) What's coming out of the machine is questionable to look at.]

[experiencepoints]

[If you walk past the kitchen, you'll notice that Nightingale's made herself completely at home in there, experimenting with all the different tools and foods they have in there. She's made... quite a lot in her tests, even- well more than the crew could possibly need. Oops.]

[nextlineis]

[Joseph only cares about two things when he shows up on the bridge of the Caprine. (Well, three things. But that third thing he'll worry about later.) The first is this delicious dessert that he's been offered. He'll take that, thank you very much, and go lose the will to live later. Right now, while eating, he wants to get his hands on these controls.]

[Sorry if flight is suddenly a little less smooth. He knows vaguely what everything goes, but knowing and doing are two different things. He's working out the kinks, you guys. Just be patient. Or have a barf bag handy. Maybe start praying to whatever deity you feel is the most acceptable and/or receptive to such prayers. Just be patient, okay. He'll get the hang of this and he won't crash.]

[For now.]

[experiencepoints]

[Clearly, when the pilot is having trouble, the wisest course of action is to smack them in the back of the head. ... It's a good thing she's kind of sadly weak, really.]

What the fuck are you doing, you asshole, stop that!

[nextlineis]

[Things that are helping: literally everything that is not what she just said and did. Her smack gets his attention and he reacts to it, but it definitely doesn't hurt. He's had way, way worse.]

What the hell was that for!? Can't you see I'm trying to fly this thing!?

[experiencepoints]

I can see that you're trying and failing! Are you trying to make us all sick?!

[nextlineis]

Why are you yelling at me!?

[Why yes, he is just going to swat at her to go away.]

[experiencepoints]

Because you can't drive!

[nextlineis]

And yelling at me is helping how!?

[experiencepoints]

It's supposed to get you to stop!