i'm gonna show you crazy

[deshabille]

Who: Everyone on the SS Caprine!
Broadcast: None :(
Action: mingle mingle mingle
When: month-wide, get in here whenever you want

[hey everybody it's a mingle]

[when you're not sunbathing on planet sandals beach resort, GET IN HERE]

Comments

[deshabille]

[Mal spends the majority of her time in the engine room, still working at that lightspeed thing that Beverly was talking about. She has approximately zero idea what she's doing, but that won't stop her from trying. Nine times out of ten, if you walk past the engine room, you can hear loud clanking and the occasional swear.]

[When she's not working, she's stalking through the ship, keeping an eye on her crew and making sure they don't blow anything up. At least not anything she wouldn't blow up. Find her anywhere and everywhere!]

[experiencepoints]

[Mal can likely find Nightingale on the bridge, looking out at the planet like it's going to bite.]

Why is it water?

[deshabille]

[She's noticed Nightingale's caginess about the planet, but frankly has no idea where it comes from or what to do about it. After a moment's hesitation, she crosses the bridge to look out at the planet with her.]

What's wrong with water?

[experiencepoints]

[It takes her a second to respond, not wanting to dump too much on the captain at once- let's not mention the horrible drowning and shit.]

... Can't swim.

[deshabille]

I can't either. Someone can teach you.

[Which is Mal's way of politely calling bullshit. There's something else, even if it's just a phobia.]

[experiencepoints]

Why don't you have someone teach you instead, then?

[deshabille]

I plan to.

[experiencepoints]

Have fun with that.

[deshabille]

I will, and so will you.

[experiencepoints]

I don't have fun.

[deshabille]

That's very stupid.

[experiencepoints]

And I don't care to learn to swim.

[deshabille]

Therefore you're categorically incapable of having fun?

[nextlineis]

[Hopefully there isn't a thing you need out of the kitchen, Mal. Because there's currently a 6'5" obstacle in your way on the floor that has lost the will to live. He knows someone is there, but this place has truly revealed itself to be nothing short of hell. So, he doesn't move. He just keeps laying there with an arm over his eyes with an occasionally very sad sigh. Is he protesting? Is he depressed? Yes. Yes, he is absolutely doing both. And in the process being not just obstructive, but also ineffectual.]

[Don't step on his scarf.]

[deshabille]

[She steps on his scarf almost immediately. It's just sort of lying there dangling in the middle of the floor; she can't help it. Even if she could, she probably wouldn't.]

[Looking down at this man who is a full foot taller than her, she thinks: yeah, I could probably take him, and nudges him in the ribs hard with her boot.]

What's this supposed to be, now?

[nextlineis]

[He swats in the vague direction of where the boot came from without lifting his arm to look.]

There's nothing to eat.

[deshabille]

[She avoids the swat easily, then kicks at his hand. Not hard! But enough to sting a little. Her boots are very sharp.]

Yes there is. There's plenty.

[nextlineis]

[Okay, that makes him move his arm finally to glare at he...him? Him. He shakes his hand out before rolling over onto his stomach and accusingly pointing up at the horrible, awful, and completely offensive food machine.]

That is not food.

[deshabille]

Really? I could have sworn it was.

[She shifts her weight to one hip, raising her eyebrows sardonically.]

Define food for me, then, please.

[nextlineis]

[Is this guy crazy or stupid? Joseph thinks very loudly. So loud it's very plain on his face. Because only a crazy and/or stupid person would ask a question like that. For a moment, he just doesn't even know what to say and just lets the arm that was pointing drop on the floor.]

[After a few more second pass, Joseph gets up, walks over to the machine and hits a button.]

It. Looks. Like. Shit.

[And he's not even being dramatic. (Okay, he is being a little bit. But he's not particularly exaggerating right now.) What's coming out of the machine is questionable to look at.]

[deshabille]

[Well, he does have a point. It's not the most appetizing sight in the universe. Fortunately for Mal, that's not her problem unless she feels like eating on any particular day, so she doesn't worry about it much.]

[Generally she considers it her job to keep her crew happy. This one, however, is a huge whiner, so maybe he can just deal.]

[She shrugs elaborately.]

Oh, I'm sorry. We keep our four-course meals in the other spaceship. Would you rather starve?

[nextlineis]

Yes.

[This is said with grave sincerity. He's not putting that in his mouth, okay. No.]

[deshabille]

Well, you're likely to get your wish if you don't sock up very quickly.

Is that what you were doing on the floor? Waiting for death to take you?

[nextlineis]

[Well, when he puts it like that, he makes it sound stupid...]

Why does it make a difference to you what I was doing?

[deshabille]

Because I'm your captain, and if you die, it's my responsibility to shove your giant body out of the airlock.

[A bright!! Fucking!!! Smile!!!!]