driftfleet | JULY PLANET MINGLE

[No, goddammit. He's not gonna do it. He's not gonna drink the thing. Joseph lightly drums all of his fingers on the table until, okay, fuck it. He's drinking the thing. He can't get that taste out of his mouth fast enough, but God is he relieved when it's gone. That's much better.]

[Their waitress returns, but not with their entrees just yet. She's placing breadsticks down and informing them their entrees will be out in about another five minutes before leaving again to wait on other tables. Joseph picks up a breadstick, frowning at it suspiciously because he can already tell it's like the other breadsticks at other restaurants and made with algae. He applauds them for their creativity, but man do they ever need to expand their horizons. Everything is so salty. ~~Like Caesar will be in about five minutes with his dinner AAAAYYYYY-O!!!~~]

Remember, no excuses for not clearing your plate. [He levels the breadstick at Caesar.] That includes being too drunk.

[Caesar takes a sip of his drink instead of half-downing it - it's the second round, he can afford to go slow now - and snorts into it when Joseph finally gives in and goes for the mead again. He makes a mental note that Joseph likes sweet drinks and gestures to the waitress. When she comes over, he murmurs something to her low enough that Joseph can't hear, and she hurries away.]

I'm offended by what you're insinuating. [He puts his chin on his hand again and watches Joseph levelly over the breadsticks.] No excuses. I do it or I don't.

[While Caesar is whispering to the waitress, Joseph feigns disinterest. In reality, of course, he's straining his hearing trying to figure out what Caesar might be up to. Joseph in some ways is like a child who feels as though he needs to be included in everything. He just hates being left out.]

[At first he thinks he might be already trying to hit on the waitress, but with the way she doesn't stick around and isn't giggling or sighing over him, that can't be it. So, he's up to something. Joseph will have to try and figure out what it is, but also not be obvious about it either. He stops pointing with his breadstick, holding one end in each hand before he starts slowly turning it over.]

Good. I don't know if I could look at you the same if you broke your word.

You're the one who plays tricks, idiota, not me.

[That fondness is back. He can feel the effects of the liquor tickling at the back of his throat, his skull, and drinks again, his eyes half-lidded and curious. It's true that he thought about making advances on the waitress - he always does, because she's pretty and young and he needs distraction now more than he ever did before - but now, at least, he's focusing on something more interesting. Or - differently interesting, put it that way.]

[She returns with a small, tapered, delicate glass of something pale and translucent, beading already against the chill. With a glance at Caesar, who nods, she sets it in front of Joseph and scurries away again before he can ask questions.]

Have you ever had eiswein, Jojo? [The briefest pause, before he waves a hand.] This isn't it - it's too warm here to make it properly . . . but it's similar, frozen just after harvest instead of before. Try it.

[The theme of the night, he thinks; if Joseph is going to make him try something new and horrific, he can at least try to broaden his palate.]

Edited 2015-07-22 05:04 (UTC)

[Joseph is naturally suspicious of the glass when it's put in front of him. Wine has never really had much of a place on Joseph's drinking list if only because his exposure to it's been limited far more to the dryer, redder end of the spectrum. He'll drink it if it's there and it complements a meal well, but he's never been one to actually drink wine for the sake of it. It does look pretty, however, which is unexpected. Wine is often just there and nothing all that special. This looks it. At least a little more so than usual anyway.]

[He picks up the glass, noticing almost immediately this is definitely not the sort of glass most of his drinks are served in. This stuff is expensive. At least a little pricier than the mead and the liquor Caesar's drinking. He feels a little pressure to like it, but he knows himself well enough to know he can't fake something like that. He'll either love it or hate it. There's no much middle ground for Joseph in anything. He does give it a little sniff though he does not at all look like a wine connoisseur in doing so. He looks far more like a dog trying to decide if something is edible or not. (Which for dogs is not a very complicated process, of course. If it fits in their mouth, it's officially edible. Joseph's process is not much better.) It smells far more like juice than it does alcohol and far sweeter than any wine Joseph's ever tasted. Maybe it won't be so bad.]

[But, okay, he can't dawdle so here goes.]

[The moment it hits Joseph's tongue, his eyes widen and he makes a very agreeable noise. It tastes exactly how it smells. It's so sweet it's almost like syrup without that thick consistency to go along with it. There's not even a slight burn of alcohol attached to it. He can't believe it and manages to get at least one big gulp of it down before he remembers that wait. You're not supposed to guzzle wine. There's something about savoring and appreciating and yadda, yadda. Which, okay, he's actually semi-willing to do that with this because,]

Holy shit, this is good!

[Oh, there's no helping it - at the look on his face, the sounds he's making, that ridiculous exclamation, Caesar laughs, long and loud and low. He quickly buries his laughter in a sip of his drink, but there's no hiding the look in his eyes, the deep, mischievous affection.]

You sound so surprised. As if you expected to fine a bug in the bottom of your glass. Oh, Jojo, the look on your face--

[And he dissolves into laughter again. Part of it comes from a sense of intense self-satisfaction. It's reassuring to add a fact about a friend to his mental database. In this case: Joseph likes sweet drinks, so much so that he'll pull silly faces in appreciation of them.]

[When his laughter shifts into a smile that still threatens to split his face, Caesar shakes his head and takes another, bigger, more reckless sip of his drink, cocking his head appreciatively at Joseph.]

It's good you like it. I'm glad.

[Look, it was perfectly reasonable for him to assume he might not like it, okay, Caesar? And let's be real, he'd probably be the one to order something like that as a prank. It passed inspection, but there was still a chance! He does look a little confused though because what about the look on his face? He's getting that feeling that he's being left out on some kind of joke again the more Caesar laughs, but he's not as frustrated by it as he was when Caesar was whispering to the waitress earlier. So, the confusion doesn't last and quickly folds to his returning enthusiasm.]

Who couldn't like it?! It's one of the best damn things I've ever tasted! [Hyperbolic? A little bit, obviously. But it's not insincere.] I'm almost starting to feel bad about what I ordered for you...

[But only almost.]

[Caesar laughs at that, too, although not as hard as he was laughing. He's sobering up at the realization that the countdown to disgusting entree is entering the single digits.]

No, you're not. Don't lie. I know you.

Anyway, I said drinks were on me. I never said they were going to be bad drinks.

[He looks a little embarrassed of his own generosity, now. But not embarrassed enough to stop showering Joseph with things that he likes. It's a small pleasure that, once discovered, he refuses to let go of.]

I guess you're right. You had to have known I'd go to extremes to win, but you're not that petty.

[At least not right now. But that gross bug-like prawn dish that's heading his way very soon would probably change that very, very quickly. At least it come with vegetables and dipping sauce since you're supposed to basically make your own kebabs with parts from the overgrown bug...thing...]

[But while that is still a few minutes away?]

Thanks, Caesar.

[Joseph's expression is still the same absurdly proud grin, but there's a seriousness to his tone and look to his eyes because he doesn't just mean the drinks. Today's had its weird parts (that Joseph is certainly going to ignore) and it's been a long one (with Caesar being far more raw than he's ever been around Joseph), but it's felt largely like old times. They've fought and bickered, competed and played around. Even if it doesn't really end up lasting beyond tonight, Joseph's okay with that. These are things that he didn't think he'd get to have again, not with Caesar. And sure, Joseph can sometimes be a self-centered and entitled little brat, but never when it comes to people's time or friendship. At least he tries not to be, not even with someone he wants to be entitled to the most. So, if things only feel like they used to for tonight, he's happy. He's hopeful that won't be the case, but he won't complain. Not even a word.]

[The look on Joseph's face . . . Caesar feels like he's been punched in the gut. He can't even tell why, is the worst part - just some secret part of him wants to curl up when Joseph looks at him like that. He can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing, and he feels heavy and clumsy with the not-knowing of it.]

[Taking another drink for something to do, he wonders if he could make a game of it - drink every time Joseph does something completely baffling, or looks at him in a way that makes his stomach jump.]

What are you thanking me for, Jojo?

[Not the question he meant to ask. Did he even mean to ask a question? He takes another drink, eyes locked on Joseph's, shoulders tense.]

For the drink.

[Joseph more or less blurts it out and kicks himself immediately. It's not at all what he meant to say, but the words fell out before he could stop them. But he felt a sudden pressure when Caesar asked him directly and his mind went completely blank. He doesn't know why. It's not like there's anything...wrong with what he was thanking him for or admitting to as much. But something leapt up and just as quickly vanished when Caesar's eyes locked with his.]

[And he realizes, too, that he has a chance to correct himself. Joseph can even feel the words right there on the tip of his tongue. But as the words keep trying to push their way past his lips, Joseph can feel his jaw tighten and his mouth starts to feel impossibly dry. So, he just takes another swig of wine and tries not to fidget, but ends up resting his elbow on the table and subtly rubbing at the back of his neck where he finds anywhere and anyone to look at except Caesar for a moment.]

[Maybe he was just hoping that Caesar would know. Maybe it just feels stupid to say it out loud. Whatever the reason, he can't win the fight. It's frustrating. But it's more embarrassing than anything else. Joseph is good at talking and now he can't. Now he's just stuck trying to ignore it until it goes away. Whatever this abstract "it" is that won't let him use his words.]

[The worst thing about knowing someone the way Caesar knows Joseph is that he knows what all his little gestures mean. The hand on the back of his neck, that one's easy. It's a sign of discomfort, embarrassment sometimes. On another day, he'd relish it, taking it as a sign of his own victory. But now . . .]

[Now it feels like once again he's stumbled into unfamiliar territory, a vast empty no-man's-land between them, full of mines and traps, something impossible to navigate that makes his heart heavy and his throat thick with words unsaid. He is suddenly, deeply frustrated. He wants to know the real answer, the true answer, the one sitting in the back of Joseph's mind that's making him look away like that.]

[If he were any less raw, he would tell Joseph so. He would demand the whole truth. He would insist that if they're best friends - if what Joseph is saying is true - that they shouldn't hide things from each other. But he's exhausted and a little bit tipsy, and so he just watches Joseph not watching him and nods at whatever is hanging between them unsaid.]

You're welcome, then.

[He worries his lower lip with his teeth for a moment, an uncharacteristic gesture of nerves.]

Jojo. Joseph. I--

[And then he sees the waitress coming, and shuts up.]

[Joseph looks at Caesar when he hears his name, but when Caesar cuts short, it's only then that he looks at the waitress and--]

Oh God, [he mutters under his breath as he straightens and immediately has to hide his mouth behind not just one, but both hands. He's trying incredibly hard not to be rude here, but even as he covers his mouth he can't really change the way his eyes are looking and what's being put in front of Caesar. It's worse than he imagined, somehow.]

[As promised, there's veggies and dipping sauce, but at about the size of a football, it looks like a strange mix between a prawn and a flea right in the middle of the pla--well, that sure was a nerve impulse there that just went through because that thing's leg sure did just twitch. Joseph removes one hand and has to look the other way. He can't even look at the plate that's being put in front of him, which for all intents and purposes, looks like pretty normal pasta or thereabouts. It's not until the waitress leaves again that he looks over at Caesar's dish and then at Caesar. He lifts his hand just a little.]

You sure about this?

[Because Joseph sure isn't. This was a lot funnier in concept than it is in reality. Especially knowing that he has to take a bite.]

[One look is all it takes: Caesar knows there is absolutely no way he's putting any of this in his mouth. A very distant part of him has to give Joseph credit. This is a good prank, if by "good" you mean "hellish and disgusting".]

[It's a moment before he can look up from the twitching . . . moving . . . thing and meet Joseph's eyes over it, which unfortunately doesn't stop him from being able to see movements in his peripheral vision. His expression is absolutely panicked.]

What, you don't want to take your bite?

[Please don't make him do this, holy shit.]

I didn't say tha-- [Joseph physically flinches badly enough that his knee bumps into the table when there's a larger movement from one of the antennae. Firmly, to make up for that, he repeats himself,] I didn't say that. It's just...

Well, you have to eat all of it and now you can see it, so. I didn't know if you...

[He's not looking at Caesar at all. Now he can't stop looking at it. He wants to. He's trying. But it's like every time he starts trying to turn his head to look in some other direction, his eyes just stay glued to the damn thing watching it. It seems like any second it could just roll back over onto its belly and skitter around.]

[He was talking, wasn't he? No, actually, he's fine with keeping his mouth closed with his lips and jaw as tight as either can get. Whatever he was saying isn't important anymore.]

[Please don't make him make you do this, Caesar, holy fuck.]

[It's okay, Joseph, about halfway through your little trail of excuses, Caesar got mesmerized by the demon entree as well. It's horrifying. It's like they didn't even bother killing it at all. Oh god, is it raw? Is he supposed to eat a raw, twitching bug, is that what's happening?]

It's - there's a lot of it.

[This fairly weakly. This is the biggest bug in any world, ever, and if there are bigger ones he doesn't want to know about it. God, he hates bugs. If he could physically crawl onto the back of his chair right now and just cling there out of sight where it can't see him, he would do that thing.]

It's still moving, Jojo, [he says helplessly, as if this extremely obvious observation is enough to solve the problem they're both facing right now, which is that neither one of them wants to back down from the dumbest challenge ever set up.]

I know that, Caesar. I have eyes.

[And so does this thing. Unblinking dead eyes, but eyes all the same. Eyes that are just staring. He thinks vaguely that there's a quote about staring into an abyss, but this is twenty times worse than any stupid fucking abyss easily. Why can't he look away? Why did he do this to himself? To Caesar? Actually, no. This is Caesar's fault. He's the one who came up with this stupid challenge in the first place.]

Just. Just make up your mind before... [He throws up? Possibly. He reaches for something else though.] My plate gets cold.

[Not that he thinks he could honestly eat while Caesar's trying to stomach that. In fact, he doesn't think he could possibly eat ever again. He shivers. He actually shivers.]

[Hey, no fair. Caesar came up with the challenge, but Joseph didn't have to be an asshole. This is all on him. This giant bug monster dish is 110% his fault.]

[Covering his mouth and leaning back in his chair, Caesar just shakes his head. All right, fine. He can swallow his pride a hell of a lot easier than he can swallow any part of this monstrosity. In a very small fit of pique, though, he pushes the plate across the table to bump against Joseph's.]

Fine. You win. Lunch is on me for the rest of the stay. Now would you please get rid of it?

[Throw it in the ocean weighted down with rocks, please, thank you ever so much.]

[Reflexively, Joseph grabs at his plate after they touch. That's close enough, thank you very fucking much.]

Why do I have to--?

[Joseph cuts himself off with a low, frustrated growl. In the back of his mind, he can hear Granny Erina saying you know exactly why, Jojo. That's about as far as he gets for a few seconds though as he sulks at the thing as if somehow that would make it disappear. But for whatever reason, that's not working, so he has to start thinking. He looks around the dining area and the first thought is to dispose of it in the bathroom, but he doesn't think he could get that far with it in his hands.]

[(Actually, that's a lie. Joseph's first thought was to put it in a toilet in the women's room. But that'd be risky and Caesar would have to play look-out. He looks at Caesar only for a second or two while he's considering it before, nah. Caesar wouldn't go along with that. Not right now anyway.)]

[He's back to glancing around the room. Okay, Jojo, think. For a moment, he's stuck until he spots a waiter setting down a plate at another table. More important, an empty table! It's perfect. Joseph can get over there, swap the plates, and if anyone asks, the orders got mixed up. Ah, Joseph Joestar, you are a goddamn genius. Now, just a matter of...carrying...it. He just has to do this quick before the customer who ordered sensibly gets back.]

[Joseph picks up his mead and downs the whole of it followed quickly by the wine. Then, like the brave man he is, he picks the plate up and holds it as far away from his body as he possibly can without drawing too much attention to himself and heads on over towards the other table. A few people glance at him as he passes, but none of them question it. Joseph believes it's because he's selling it well enough that he's doing exactly what he's supposed to be doing, and it's certainly possible. But it could also be that their table has acted weird since they got there and nobody wants to really get involved in whatever is happening with Joseph and Caesar.]

[He does spare a glance around once he gets to the table and has to force himself not to just throw the bug and run with the other plate. Once he's got the other plate though, he speedwalks back. He feels a little bit like he needs to remove the hand that was touching the other plate either by burning or cutting it off. One or the other. At least until he's safely back at the table with Caesar. Now he can start forgetting that bug thing ever existed or happened.]

[Before he takes his seat though, he stops near Caesar's side of the table and puts the pilfered meal in front of him.]

And for you, Signor Zeppeli, fish and chips. Buon appetito!

[The horror of this entire experienced isn't totally ameliorated, but it is somewhat improved by the pageantry of Joseph's little production. Caesar personally finds it very hard to believe that all of these people are actually ignoring Joseph. More likely, they all see exactly what he's doing and are choosing to pretend it's not happening. This theory is confirmed when Caesar glances across the room and catches the waitress's eye. She's got basically her whole fist stuffed in her mouth so Joseph can't hear her laughing.]

[What a ridiculously patient person, Caesar thinks as Joseph crosses over to him, fighting very hard to hide a smile himself. He nods graciously at the meal placed in front of him, as if this is what was supposed to happen all along, and claps Joseph on the back.]

Masterful, Jojo, thank you. I'm going to order us both more drinks, right now.

[He waves over to the waitress, who appears to be swallowing down some laughter hiccups, but crosses the room anyway and takes his order. Once she's left, Caesar rubs his temple and sighs.]

I think that's the worst choice you've made in - since I've known you.

[Joseph, naturally, doesn't notice anything about the waitress. Even as he sees her coming while he's taking his seat, it doesn't even remotely begin to occur to him that she just saw everything. Not until she's at the table anyway. But even then, he doesn't connect the dots completely and only wonders what's got her so happy since she can't seem to keep from smiling but is remaining rather tight-lipped while taking Caesar's order. He watches her as she goes, turning his head after her. Weird.]

[He looks over at Caesar with a frown when he's spoken to again as he picks up his fork.]

I thought it was gonna be funny. I know what a girl you can be about bugs. But she didn't mention it was so... [His lips curl into a deeper frown of disgust.] Big.

[Well. Caesar just widens his eyes and huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.]

I am not a girl about bugs. Bugs are disgusting.

[And it was huge. It was bigger than his head. He does not want to think about this anymore, holy shit.]

[If you don't want to think about it, don't bring it up! You could have moved the subject along if you wanted to, Caesar, but noooo. Had to dwell on the gross bug thing.]

Caesar, you were close to crying, [he says, pointing an accusatory fork in Caesar's direction.] If that's not acting like a girl, I don't know what is.

Besides, bugs may be disgusting, but you do realize you're much bigger than they are and they can't hurt you, right? [Then he starts grinning.] Well, maybe not bigger than the weird bug people around here. You haven't run into any yet, have you?

I was not close to--

[He shuts up and stabs at his food moodily with his fork. It smells good, but he mostly just wants to dump it onto Joseph's head at this point.]

[And then Joseph has to go and bring up the Nunnilis, who are perfectly nice people, Caesar's sure, but. Damn it. Stabbing some more, he kicks Joseph viciously in the shin under the table.]

[Joseph's smugness doesn't last very long. In fact, it disappears the second Caesar kicks him under the table. Letting out a yelp and dropping his fork on his plat, Joseph's knee once again hits the underside of the table. Joseph leans down to rub his shin, leering at Caesar over the table, but he can't retaliate right away because the waitress is back again with refills on their drinks.]

Asshole, [he mutters under his breath, now sulking at his pasta. You know, as a mature adult does.]

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i still don't really know how i'm supposed to spell nunnithing

reasons why i'm glad i play someone who dgaf about remembering this stuff