004 - Friends in Low Places

[onlyanapple]

Who: Crowley and you!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Iskaulit
When: Right now!

[Crowley isn't in his usual place, lounging before the communications array aboard the Pathstone. Today, he seems to be wandering one of the big, empty spaces within the Iskaulit, looking around him with a small level of appraisal. ]

Back in Paradisa, there were a number of bars around the place. Gave people a place to go spend time, drown their sorrows, maybe people watch, or just sit in a corner and ignore the fact they were trapped in a magical soul-eating castle. One of my favourite places was a bar called the Lux. Great place, that.

[He wanders over to one part of the room, holding one hand out like he's trying to judge the space. ]

Discounting the fleeting places we end up on our travels, we haven't got anywhere like that here. Our own Drift Fleet captives place. Seen as we have this floating lot of empty space following us now, we might as well use it. So this is me, laying claim to this space for a bar that will be named at a later date. Something classy, I think.

Of course, work isn't my thing, so anyone interested in joining me in this grand and marvellous enterprise? I'd say I'll make it worth your while, but I think having our own bar will do that all by itself.

Comments

[onlyanapple]

Ah yes, you have ...I want to say daughter?

No, I suppose it doesn't.

[thebestseller]

Yeah, that's right- and I'd just gotten engaged back home, to top it off. So I'd like to get back to living my life.

[onlyanapple]

And here you are, captured into an interdimensional reality TV show. Such is life.

[thebestseller]

Yeah, out of all the directions I thought my life might take, this is definitely not it. I mean, I'll do what's expected of me while I'm here, but talk about "what wait what the hell just happened" moments.

[onlyanapple]

Well, generally people don't think about being trapped in space being watched by aliens.

Not sane people, anyway.

[thebestseller]

True that. It sounds like a story I'd write, but considering we've barely reached the "send a probe to Mars" point of space travel where I come from, I never once thought it would actually happen.

[onlyanapple]

Yeah, I mean, humanity made a big thing about getting to the moon, but it's not that interesting to me.

[thebestseller]

It was a pretty big deal at the time, but now we want to keep pushing the boundaries. Mars, then Pluto... of course, we don't seem to be in my own solar system. I don't remember learning about a stormy beach planet where bugs and humans live in perfect harmony in school.

[onlyanapple]

Hm, no, this is definately beyond the realm I'm used to, as well. Definitely not in my neighbourhood.

[thebestseller]

Not that I'm complaining about the free vacation, but yeah, I'd like some point of reference to where we are. And who's watching us, too.

[onlyanapple]

Whoever it is, they seem to like to send us random bullshit.

[thebestseller]

Is it at least useful bullshit?

[onlyanapple]

Not especially. The most useful thing I've seen sent is a bunch of lube.

[thebestseller]

Oh! Well, uh, I suppose people will still be people, won't they?

[onlyanapple]

Nope. Can't ever change people, no matter what galaxy they're from.

[thebestseller]

Tell me it at least wasn't bacon-flavored lube.

[onlyanapple]

Ugh. No. They were mostly fruit flavoured.

[thebestseller]

Good. Because that's an actual thing where I come from, and I'd hope the innocent eyes and ears of our audience weren't to be corrupted by such knowledge.

[onlyanapple]

...Really? Why would anyone want to have a hint of bacon in a position like that. Can't do much for the mood.

[thebestseller]

Search me. I mean, I like bacon, but my world has an over-the-top love affair with it. I thought bacon-scented air fresheners for your car were bad enough.

[onlyanapple]

...America never ceases to astound me.

[thebestseller]

Oh, there are bacon-scented candles, too. You know, just in case you weren't astounded enough.

[onlyanapple]

...Oh yes, because you want your home to reek of cooked pig fat, of course.

[thebestseller]

Some people are into that, apparently. I much prefer the scent of berries that have names you aren't sure are real.

[onlyanapple]

Ah yes, got to love those things.