II ☼ Text

[wilder]

Who: "Kaneis Major"
Broadcast: Fleet-Wide, text
Action: SS Wonderduck
When: December 6th

[He's not particularly hiding whose posting, nor does he want to advertise either. So, sometime during the day, a text post will appear on the network. ]

Anyone got any suggestions for ways to entertain yourself? Because I have way too much spare time right now and I'm sick of watching that shopping thing.

Extra points if it's something you can do alone. Offers for intercourse will only be taken up on for a charge. [After meeting half you people? He's not giving it out for free]

Also suggestions for ways to prepare Tallbird or places I can find yarn would get my thanks.

[He shuts off the text feed. If you are on the Wonderduck, he can be found on the bridge sitting in his pilot seat. He seems to have taken to holding onto a ostrich bobble head and flicking the head occasionally with his fingers to see what happens. Goddess he's so bored.]

Comments

[wilder]

You do know that mammals aren't all alike, right?

[onlyanapple]

They all...do something.

Balls, I looked it up too, to remember.


Something to do with their babies.

[wilder]

[....]

We give live births. Not eggs.

Aren't you one too? That's basic stuff. [YOU LOOK LIKE ONE]

[onlyanapple]

No no, not that, because there's the platypus. And that other one. The spiky one.

Nope. I'm not....anything.

Well, I suppose I'm more snake than anything, but that's what happens when that's your first earth-bound form. No helping that.

[wilder]

A platy-what? Oh c'mon, that just sounds ridiculous. You sure you didn't make it up?

...

The hell does any of that even mean? What are you a spirit or something?

[onlyanapple]

No, it's real. I think it was one of His practical jokes. I'd show you a picture of it, but it looks so ridiculous you'd be even less inclined to believe it was real.

Try a demon.

[wilder]

And you're sure this thing's a mammal...?

Wait. A demon?

[WHAT THE FRICK FRACK?]

[onlyanapple]

Yep. I read it up.

A demon. As in, from Hell.

[wilder]

[A LONG PAUSE]

...Wow. Judging another me has to be the strangest sensation.

[Because holy shit he thought he was the fuck up, but it's not like he slept with a demon]

[onlyanapple]

Judging is a rather strong word, isn't it?

[wilder]

Hmmm...no! Not in this case.

I mean, unless this is the part where you try to tell me demons are warm and fuzzy in your world.

[onlyanapple]

No. Most of them are absolute psychopaths.

Don't fall in with that lot, personally.

[wilder]

Oh. So you're a good demon then?

[Which...he doesn't honestly believe. What with always being taught demons were EFFING EVIL and all]

[onlyanapple]

I'm not a demon who does harm to others.

[He still refuses to admit he's 'good'. He wants to keep the remaining shreds of his dignity together.]

[wilder]

[A beat]

...So does that mean you're too lazy do to harm, or actually have morals and don't want to admit to being good?

[This guy is so weird. Did another Zelos really sleep with him? Ugh]

But I guess if there's evil angels I can't...rule out the possibility of demons that...do no harm.

Maybe, anyway.

[onlyanapple]

A bit of both.

I'm the only one. It's a very depressing state of affairs. The angel I know is a little bit of an asshole though, so I suppose we even out the cosmos in our own way.

[wilder]

Wow. An asshole angel. Sure never heard of that before.

[Besides you know, almost all the ones he knows]

So...what do you do with your time if you're not consuming souls or working towards unleasing the demonic realm on the mortal world?

[onlyanapple]

There's a couple that I've met.

Mostly getting drunk and sleeping a lot.

[wilder]

[he's not sure what he was expecting, but]

...How diabolical.

[onlyanapple]

[It's sad the text can't convey tone, because without a hint of irony:]

I try.