006 - And now we present Sokka in an act of desperation

[alwayscomeback]

Who: Sokka and you!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Blue Fish
When: 11th

[The feed turns on to Sokka looking exceptionally miserable, the Blue Fish's kitchen as his backdrop. He turns to wave a hand at the empty kitchen, because this is an important part to his point.]

Do you see that, Flooters? Do you know what that is? That is a kitchen devoid of a cook, which is just about the saddest thing in the universe. Even sadder than a turtleduck with one leg. It's that sad.

SO! Does any cook here want to help out the Blue Fish? We have every single upgrade at your disposal if you want to come cook for us! We even have frozen meat and fish, hunted fresh by your handsome captain here.

[He's turning on the puppy eyes. Don't stare too much into them, they'll steal your soul.]

Please. We might die. Pleeeeeaaaaaase feed us.

Comments

[unfulfilledpotential]

I'm not that great, man - but if you're gonna die otherwise, I think I can help out for a bit.

[For the record, his idea of cooking is soup. Lots and lots of soup.]

[alwayscomeback]

I knew there was a reason I liked you, Shawn. I really, really did.

[unfulfilledpotential]

Aw, Sokka, and here I thought it was because of my award-winning personality.

[He's gonna get right down to business, though:] What kind of stuff did your old cook make?

[alwayscomeback]

Oh that helps too, trust me.

Pretty much anything. She was amazing.

[unfulfilledpotential]

Wish I could've met her before she got shuffled out. Since you liked her, I'm gonna guess that leaving doesn't work like most reality shows.

[He's picturing a "SORRY, YOU GOT VOTED OFF THE ISLAND" kind of deal.]

I can't say I can make anything and everything, but I've got the good ol' American basics down.

[alwayscomeback]

As far as I know, she went home. I mean...I hope that's what happened for her. Something GOOD, y'know?

I can definitely like with that, man.

[unfulfilledpotential]

Yeah. I had this girl claiming that my niece got sent back to some interdimensional garbage dump, but I don't know. Atroma can't be that cruel.

[Huzzah! Don't mind him pumping his fist in the air.] Sounds like a plan.

[alwayscomeback]

Nah, I'm pretty sure we all go home. Atroma doesn't want bad press, after all.

[unfulfilledpotential]

Could you imagine all the hate mail they'd get?

[He clears his throat, briefly imitating some enraged fan's voice:] "Dear Atroma, you suck. You suck a lot. I ACTUALLY LIKED THAT GUY TOO."

Or girl, I guess, since we're talking about your old cook.

[alwayscomeback]

[That gets a laugh. ]

Man, can you imagine the deluge they get for getting rid of anyone anyway? I mean, if our sponsor gifts are anything to go by, our fanbase is pretty darn crazy.

[unfulfilledpotential]

We're TV stars, man. Most fans, no matter what they're watching, tend to go bananas after a point.

What kind of sponsor gifts're we talking about, anyways?

[alwayscomeback]

True, true.

Usually stuff that's super pointless. Like beard shampoo for a guy without a beard. Or a lifetime's supply of bottles with your name on.

[unfulfilledpotential]

Someone's clearly buying it, though. Either we're crazy good at selling garbage... or they care more about our faces than the stuff.

[alwayscomeback]

Could be something in the middle. It's weird, though.

[unfulfilledpotential]

You're telling me. I tried the reality TV thing out back home. It... didn't last very long.

[alwayscomeback]

Really? So they legit have it where you're from? And people just...watch other people doing things?

[unfulfilledpotential]

Yeeeep. It's pretty popular too.

I don't watch a lot of it myself, though, beyond game shows or stuff with challenges. Nothing like the Fleet exists yet, and I kinda hope it never will.

[alwayscomeback]

Seriously. I mean... someone has to be watching us, but it's still a creepy thought.

What's a game show?

[unfulfilledpotential]

It's a kind of TV show where you take a bunch of people and ask them to play a game. Like uh, Wheel of Fortune where you try to guess a sentence based off letters already on a board.

The catch: you get really good prizes if you win a round. Usually, it's like a new car or a washing machine or a trip to the Bahamas.

[He sighs] Kinda wish we were on a game show sometimes. At least when you lose, you go home.

[alwayscomeback]

[Shawn what the hell is that. That sounds so weird. Seriously, what the hell. ]

...And people watch that? So it's like a competition?

[He has no idea what a Bahamas is, and only vaguely understands 'car' but he's almost afraid to ask. ]

[unfulfilledpotential]

[He doesn't create Earth TV, bro, he just watches a lot of it. And okay, sometimes he's on those game shows too.]

Pretty much. If you have a good enough host and fun people playing each round, people tune in.

If you can compete in it, I promise, there's probably a show about it.

[alwayscomeback]

[Earth, man. Just Earth. ]

Huh. When we do those things it's actually going to an event and watching people compete in person.

[unfulfilledpotential]

Oh, there's still in-person stuff, like sport events. TV makes it a lot easier for people to watch if they can't make it in person.

[He shrugs.]

It's kinda nice, if you're using it right.

[alwayscomeback]

Well, I do like the movies we got on the Blue Fish. So I guess it's not too much different from that, right?

[unfulfilledpotential]

Wait. You're saying you can watch movies on your ship this whole time, and you didn't tell me?

[He's not gonna screech, because that's just dumb, but that is what the face of utter heartbreak looks like.]

Sokka! You could've helped a guy out a little here.