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(no subject)

Who: Ahsoka + you
Broadcast: Video (fleetwide)
Action: Common area of the Marsiva
When: Afternoon? Evening??

Has... anyone else been having weird dreams lately, or just me?

Also, what do people do for fun around here? This is the longest I've ever been cooped up in one place. At least if there was something to do...

Anyway, I'm sick of meditating. If anyone wants to come chat or keep me company, I'm sitting in the living area. Does anyone know if they have a dejarik board around here? I'm not much good at it, but it's a good time waster at least.

Oh-- right. I'm always up for a spar, too... if you think you can keep up.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I prefer to think of it as part of an ongoing campaign in one-upmanship. One day all of these points will count for something.

[Too bad he usually lost most of these encounters.]

Hey, why can't they count for something now?

Nothing wrong with a little friendly competition. It drives you to be better at stuff!

Nah, I can't rightfully cash them in if she's not around. She'd probably concoct some horrendous story about how I cheated my way to victory. Or accuse me of not being able to do math.

Probably both.

Sure you can. Maybe not with her.

But the experience you gained in that moment of competition has to count for something, right? Now you're better at those things than you were before.

That was unexpectedly deep. This conversation about chess went places.

[It's amused, though.]

If you find a board, I'll try playing you. The trip through Earth media post-2009 has been an experience, but I'm open to alternative means of staving off boredom.

[Consider it a byproduct of growing up a Jedi.]

There's gotta be some kinda board game around here. Unless the Atroma plan to let us all die from boredom.

That would be the most anticlimactic game over ever. Oh well, if the reality show hogwash is true, it means they've got to make our demises at least a little more entertaining.

[How reassuring???]

I agree.

In the meantime... maybe we could play a different game. One that doesn't require a game board.

Sure. Do you have one in mind.

Though if you happen to stumble over a Monopoly board, maybe I should put in an anti-recommendation.

... I don't know what that is, but I'll keep that in mind.

Did you have the lying game growing up? We used to play it in the Temple as younglings all the time. You either make up or tell a random fact about yourself or something that happened in your vicinity, and the other person has to work out whether you're lying or not.

Oh, yeah, I've played that before. Or at least a game predicated on the same idea. Been a while, though.

[He thinks it over for a moment.]

You wanna start or play this in person or rope in extra victims.

Hmmm. It's probably better if we stick to digital communication. I have... something of an unfair advantage in person.

Do you have telepathy or something. 'Cause I'm just saying, if you're secretly a robot monitoring all of my vital signs, I'm not sure I've actually got those.

[Ahsoka laughs.]

No, nothing like that. But I can sense emotions, as well as the occasional lie.

... Wait, why don't you have vital signs?

Long story. Being a semi-tangible ghostbird will do that to you, though.

[A beat.]

Man, that would have made excellent subject matter for this game. Like how many people are gonna believe that in a first encounter. Space is weird, but it's not that weird.

No, wait, forget about the game for a moment. I want to hear this story. What in the universe is a "semi-tangible... ghost bird"?

Ok, first, are you absolutely sure this is a path you want to go down. Because I guarantee, once you venture into this unmitigated clusterfuck of overlong bullshit, you just don't come out the other side the same.

[Do you really want him to tell you about Homestuck.]

... I think I can handle it.

Well, if you're sure.

[He's not sure if she's sure, like maybe she'll take it back after he tells her, but that means he has to lay it out, anyway. So here he goes.]

A semi-tangible ghostbird is pretty much what it sounds like. I mean there are only so many synonyms for sometimes intangible, sometimes not. The story behind it, on the other hand, is a little more complicated. This is the abridged edition, for reference, and even it is filled with significantly more bullshit than you'd ever expect to find in a field of mooing, shitting cows.

So.

A semi-tangible ghostbird happens when a loser accidentally impales a crow with a sword, because only idiots trust small children with swords. A girl then proceeds to resurrect the aforementioned crow in a roiling narcoleptic fit of poor choices and misplaced empathy, before you dump the asshole who impaled it in the first place into its spooky remains; you do this because he ignored the suspiciously pointed signs that sometimes video games are bad news and that's what happens when you ignore pointed signs, you fucking pay for it. Then a few years pass, before some gods nab his idiot birdbrained ass out of the ether and stash him in a non-ghost body again, just with feathers. And they jerk his chain for a while until they don't need him anymore; purpose fulfilled, now it's time to fuck off back where you came from. Pretty straightforward stuff.

So he hops back into the interdimensional melting pot, where he'll presumably fly away home like a good little goose. Only that's bullshit because he's a crow, so of course he wakes up to find a self-proclaimed reality show has jacked his shit for their entertainment. Because ha fucking ha, his life is a joke. What a punchline. This is further complicated by the fact that no one can apparently decide if leaving him in a mostly normal body is good enough, or maybe they should reinstate the ghostbird clause. Which instance would cause more drama, we just don't know. But chopping off his legs does sound like more trouble than it's worth, I mean what if they just grow back like starfish, that would be such a fucking waste of time.

In the end, they leave the ghostbird stuck in the bizarre limbo of looking and sounding like a fleshy meatbag, but with the probable interior of a nasty ass conglomeration of ghost goo. He's not really eager to let someone shank him to find out, so it will remain a mystery. And he will remain only semi-tangible, at the behest of his ghostly, avian mood.

[Wow, that's such a positive way of selling himself. He pauses.]

That's pretty much the story, I guess. Kind of a shitty one.

... Okay. You're right. Literally none of that makes any sense.

Yeah. I lived through it and it still doesn't make much more fucking sense than that. It's the kind of life experience you're better off not thinking about too deeply.

I don't even know where to start.

I mean-- how does the girl in this story just happen to have the power to resurrect people? How does she manage to do it in her sleep? Why and how in the universe do you merge two separate bodies into one? Just for starters!

That's why that was the abridged version. If we started getting into all the nuances behind why any of this horseshit happened, we'd be here for days. Weeks, probably.

And people say my universe is weird.

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