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Who: Jade Harley & you!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: N/A
When: December 1st.

do people here actually celebrate birthdays??
ive seen a lot of mention of them!
mine is technically today i guess
and davesprites is the day after tomorrow
but...........
at this point i actually have no idea how old either of us are turning :| :| :|
this is so convoluted!!! (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

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excuse you i think you mean my face is a wondercrunch

[Don't make him throw something at you, Jade Harley.]

your mom is a wondercrunch!!! :U

[ baw she misses roxy. ]

dont diss my mom when shes not here to defend herself
i know she can take you in a fight

[Even if he really didn't need to know Sollux touched her boobs.]

no way!!!
i could beat your entire family up with one eye closed and both hands tied behind my back
im sorry davesprite im just too op

well you could take dirk for sure
if were real i could probably take dirk
i dunno about rose
that one could go either way
but roxy there is no mystery whatsoever she would wipe the floor with you

nope
totally took her when i was evil
bow down to jade, queen of powergaming

that doesnt count
besides you punching dirk because thats too hilarious an event to pass up mentioning
no matter how shitty our collective reality is
well always have that

oh my god davesprite
i really wish jake had been wearing real pants

pants
what

[The pants fiasco has only come up once before and he's blanking rn. Pls expound upon the true horror of Grandpa Juniordad Harley in nonpants.]

oh
um
did you never see jakes godtier outfit.............

no
what was his god tier outfit

imagine the shortest shorts you can think of
then make them a little shorter :(

my grandpa has weird sexy legs, davesprite
i dont like it

so
what youre saying is
your granddad is prancing around back in sburb somewhere
wearing dick all besides a pair of ultra short hot pants
and you got a too personal shot of his crotch oh god i remember this fucking story now

yes thank you i did not need a verbal play by play of your recollection

id have a traumatic flashback but i dont think i ever met him
just saw him post on the network once or twice maybe

want me to draw you a picture

sure
draw me a picture of your granddads crotch
you could even make a comic about it

i bet normal girls just have birthday parties

when is the last time you had a birthday party

ummmm
on the ship, when i turned sixteen

[ she invited you bro..... MOVING ON ]

think its cheating to skip ahead to eighteen now?

[He kind of figured she celebrated at least one in Asgard, so...whoops...]

ill dial up the age police and ask about our likelihood for arrest
and then skip ahead anyway
they cant try us as adults if its cheating

[ sort of vaguely acknowledged, yup, but she never actively celebrated... seemed silly with the calendars the way they were, and weird shit always seemed to be going on at the beginning of winter, anyway. ]

what would we even get arrested for anyway
being too cool?? B)

yes we are some fucking incredibly delirious biznasty
its practically a criminal offense to let us roam free on the streets with the way we be overflowing with that trippin rudebrazen shit
the fuzz is convinced theyve got to wrest this sick deluge under control lest people get hurt

davesprite
you are so dumb <3

shit what a sick burn
someone needs to rush me to the hospital my hearts palpitating with the severity
have mercy

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