♢ 01

[effluent]

Who: Sarah Turner and you!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Golden
When: 12/06

[as the video flickers on, a blonde teenager stares intently at the camera before she flashes a toothy smile and leans in closer]

Aaaand there we go. Testing, one two-- [she taps the camera twice and grins a little wider as she hears feedback from her own device]

Is it too late for a Wizard of Oz reference? Because we sure are not in Kansas any more. [her left hand reaches up to fiddle with a strand of her wavy blonde hair as she looks up, past the camera]

So tell me if I leave anything out, because here's what I've got figured out so far. We're on Survivor: Space Edition, with just a dab of Star Travel mixed in for flavor. And I'm guessing instead of getting voted off the island, we get jetted off into space? Man, and I thought human reality TV was vicious. Turns out aliens are the real assholes.

[but despite that she laughs a bit at her own joke and turns her full attention back to the screen before she continues]

I guess the meet-and-greet comes next. Hey, I'm Sarah. [she wiggles the fingers of her right hand in a half-hearted wave] Nice to meet you, blah blah blah. While we're on the subject of introductions, I looked through the contestant list, and you guys have some wild names. Special shout out to "Belthazar" and "Adrasteius"... I can't tell if your parents were huge nerds, or if they just hated you.

So! Who all is out there? Don't be shy, I don't bite... much. [aaand yep, she accompanies that with another shit-eating-grin. She'll also be lounging around the Golden's kitchen area... Draped forward on the counter and snacking on her free pudding. Such a class act, this one.]

Comments

Video

[effluent]

[she makes an exceptionally annoying whining noise] Awww, come on. But that so doesn't fit.

[....]

Allentive. Allonso. Allven. [3... 2... 1... she lets out a short snort-like laugh] Yeah, Allven is good.

Video

[bolder]

[And a new player appears! Looking thoroughly unimpressed.]

Wow. You are terrible at nicknames.

Video

[effluent]

[oho? she raises an eyebrow]

Oh? Alright Twinkie, show me what you've got.

Video

[bolder]

[Toph makes a face.]

What the heck's a twinkie?

Video

[save_the_souls]

It's a junk food pastry with cream in the inside.

Video

[bolder]

[Totally off topic now, who cares.]

That sounds amazing.

Video

[save_the_souls]

Well, yes- they are. We can get them from the vending machine at the next waystation- [Or the Space food equivalent whatever]

But she's insulting you!!

Video

[bolder]

Sweet. Thanks, Allen. [She used his real name because screw this chick.

And that gets a snort.] I'm not paying attention to anyone who's as bad as naming as this. It's not worth my time.

Video

[save_the_souls]

[Yeah, he notices that lack of the nickname. He had even been opening his mouth to automatically correct her- as he always does. But he stops himself when he hears his actual name]

[Huh. Well, he's thankful for that.]

[...Though less thankful that she's making it sound like she's going to be a better person when he much rather be a petty brat at this jerk B( ]

Really? Even if she keeps calling you Twinkie? [COME ON AT LEAST TRIP HER WITH A ROCK FEED MY PETTINESS]

Video

[bolder]

Tell me what's bad about a twinkie.

[Really, it sounds amazing to her.]

Video

[save_the_souls]

[HE TRIES TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING BUT...HE'S GOT NOTHING. AND THAT FRUSTRATES HIM!!]

...Argh! I'm sure there's something!

Video (/quietly thread jacks the thread jack)

[effluent]

They're small, obnoxiously yellow, squishy, cheap, probably give you cancer... Take your pick!

Video

[effluent]

[she jerks her head to the right a bit, as if Allen was in the room with her]

Yeah, what he said. They're super yellow and tiny. Kind of like you.

Video

[bolder]

Huh, okay. Yellow doesn't mean anything to me, but if that's what you need for a nickname, whatever.

Video

[effluent]

[weird, but whatever. She makes a note to figure out what that means. But for now she snaps her fingers]

Are you stalling? I thought you were the nickname queen?

Video

[save_the_souls]

It does fit, it's my name!

And no! Allven's stupid! It's Allen!

Video

[effluent]

[she waves a hand dismissively]

Sure, sure. [but no the reaction is way too good she's not going to pass on it] Whatever you say, Allven.

[God it's so good and cheesy, she'll just sit here for a second looking oh so proud of herself as if daring Allen to say something back]

Video

[save_the_souls]

[Which of COURSE he'll say something because he can't just let that be his name OH NO]

Allen!

Video

[effluent]

[and she can't contain a loud bark of laughter]

Oh my god, seriously? Dude just drop it, or I swear I'll never stop.

Video

[save_the_souls]

[he growls a little]

Is that why you make fun of people you don't know? Because it's funny?

You're despicable.

Video

[effluent]

Come one, you're going to have to try harder then that. [there's the slightest shift in her expression, and edge in her smile]

If it helps, sometimes I make fun of people that I do know.

Video

[save_the_souls]

No, it doesn't help. What's the point in being so mean?

Video

[effluent]

Aw, who says I was being mean? Maybe I was just trying to play along with all you weirdos. Thinking up a cool new nickname for my cool new friend?

[the sarcasm... is dripping...]

Video

[save_the_souls]

That's bollocks.

Video

[effluent]

[ha! that make her laugh again]

Yep, a load of ass. And maybe my way of saying that I don't have to explain myself to you.