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[Feed opens to what will eventually be a pretty standard expression; she's annoyed, and vocal about it.]

Okay, so ... whoever named these ships is a fucking moron.

I mean ... Tourist? Really? Who's dumbass idea was that? That's like ... the worst ship name I've ever heard. It almost screams 'Hey! I'm stupid and out of my element! Come steal from me!'

Seriously, where do I petition to change this shit? Or do I gotta do an EVA and repaint the hull myself?

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Wasn't mine, I can tell you that. It's just my job to make sure our motley crew doesn't run it headlong into a planet.

[His manner is smooth and unoffensive. He's pretty sure they have a new crew member, but he hasn't bothered coming out of his cave yet.]

If anyone tries jumping us they'll get a shot to the face. I've had enough of amateurs and thugs.

So, did you read that name out the window or are you actually on my ship?

I'm on it.

So, you're the captain? Gotta say I don't mind so much knowing we got someone at the helm that's not a reflection of its namesake. [She ain't no amateur either.]

Guess I'll get out of bed then. [He clears his throat.] Varric Tethras if you please. I'd say I'm exactly the opposite of a tourist: I hate traveling, and when I do? It's all business.

[He adjusts his coat and takes the communicator with him.]

Has anyone given you the tour?

Varric! [Finally, some news to actually make her excited.] Forget the tour; Crowley said you had a bar?

[Crowley, you amazing bastard. His heart swells with fondness for a moment.]

I sure do. It's on the Iskaulit. It's not technically open yet but it will be soon. I just need to put the finishing touches on it. [And steal some more furniture.]

There's plenty of beer on the ship to tide you over a few days. If you're really impatient, though, Crowley actually has his own place. It's classy. I bet if you have a nice silk shirt you can get in.

That lying snake ... he said it wasn't open yet.

[She waves off Varric's comment about a silk shirt.] I could walk in wearing nothing but a paper bag and Crowley would let me in. And if he didn't I'd kick his ass.

So, where's the beer?

Beer's in the fridge. Wine's in the cargo hold. I'm warning you ahead of time, a lot of it tastes like wood varnish. Some of it tastes like candy. If you mix the two you might get something that won't curdle your stomach.

[He leans back in his chair.]

What's the story with you and the demon?

[The view is shifting because she's going on an adventure -- for beer!]

He and I were both at a magic castle before this place. We shared a house with some other people, he helped me when my teammates were being assholes, that sorta thing.

[That they slept together, that he once killed her, that they got over it and she went to him in some of her darkest times, though ..... nah, not mentioning.]

[Good, good. He's never going to deny a crewmate beer. Gotta keep them placated after all.]

Gotcha. [He smiles knowingly.] I might ask for the details later. I'm a storyteller; it's kind of my thing.

I didn't catch your name.

Yeah well fair warning; it gets pretty morbid.

Call me South Dakota.

Just because I tell stories doesn't mean I'm afraid of the truth. Besides, I've seen some shit. My home isn't exactly the cheeriest of locales.

[That's a weird name, but he doesn't know what Dakota is so he imagines it's like calling someone North Swallow.]

Nice to meet you. Find the beer yet?

Well then we'll probably get along great. Misery loves company and all that.

[It's actually a weird 'name' for her people, too. More of a title, actually. But, it's what she's used to at this point.]

Yeeeah, I got it! [Her excitement is nearly palpable as she locates and cracks open a can.] Looks like I definitely landed on the right ship, cheers. [She lifts the can in a toast and then takes a big swig of it.]

That's what I like to hear. [He winks.]

If you need anything, my room's pretty easy to find. Or you can just yell. I'll probably hear it.

[She smirks a little wider.] Hell, since I'm already here, you want me bring you one?

[She knew by now if she found a kindred spirit it was a good thing to cultivate; not everyone here was going to get along with her.]

[Thankfully, Varric is pretty easy to get along with.]

Normally I'd take you up on that offer, but I'm headed to the kitchen for coffee. The stuff tastes like a nug's ass but it keeps me going. I've got a chapter to finish.

Reading? or writing?

[And you can bet she'll meet you in the kitchen, Varric.]

Writing. Believe me, I wish I could turn it off sometimes.

[He's there before she is, grabbing things out of cupboards and such so he can make a decent cup of coffee.]

[South will show up not much later and settle by the table with her beer.]

So ... writing anything interesting?

[He gives her a two fingered salute, then goes back to making his coffee.]

I like to think so. Not finished yet, obviously.

[He stirs the dark liquid with some disdain.]

It's got everything. Action, love, loss... I'm thinking it might be a bestseller when I manage to get a publisher.

You've got smut, right? No one's going to read it if there isn't any smut.

[she makes a knowing face while she takes a drink from her beer, as if she knows anything about books.]

[He winces. Well, she's... straight to the point, at least.]

Not my strong point. And yet all the fluffy shit I wrote in my first book has a huge following.

[He shrugs.]

[Yep. Welcome to South Dakota; Population: Crass.]

Oh, you're a romance writer? [Definitely said with the sense of someone who's not really into romance. At all.]

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