Video

[i_got_this]

[Feed opens to what will eventually be a pretty standard expression; she's annoyed, and vocal about it.]

Okay, so ... whoever named these ships is a fucking moron.

I mean ... Tourist? Really? Who's dumbass idea was that? That's like ... the worst ship name I've ever heard. It almost screams 'Hey! I'm stupid and out of my element! Come steal from me!'


Seriously, where do I petition to change this shit? Or do I gotta do an EVA and repaint the hull myself?

Comments

video

[grounds]

No, I'd say you're fine.

[Octavia appears, looking almost deadpan.]

I'm on a ship called the Wonderduck.

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[i_got_this]

[South's eyes widen.]

Wow. My condolences. You want me come over and repaint your hull too?

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[grounds]

I appreciate the offer, but I'm pretty sure they'd somehow go back to normal. Don't ask.

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[i_got_this]

[South gives a dismissive wave.]

Don't worry, I'm used to that sort of shit. Things randomly fixing themselves, I get it. The castle was just like that.

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[acuition]

You're allowed to transfer to another ship, if it really is a problem.

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[i_got_this]

Yeah, like it'd be any better on the Wonderduck. [Sorry Olivia except not]

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[acuition]

[ She actually laughs a bit at that-- silently, but that's rare enough as it is. ]

You could choose a different ship, I'm sure.

[delincuente]

Hey, at least it isn't Paisley. My ship's named after pants from the 1960s.

[She loves her ship, and wouldn't want it to be named anything else - but she'll admit, it is pretty dumb.]

[i_got_this]

Oh man shit just keeps getting better. I'm going to have to keep a list I think; rank them worst to catastrophic.

[delincuente]

Paisley's only, like, third or something. Just wait 'till you hear about the SS Wonderduck.

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[tobeajedi]

It's not very accurate. If you're a tourist, it means you decided to travel.

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[i_got_this]

[South laughs outright at that.] I know, right? It's such a fucking joke.

[tobeajedi]

Maybe you should just repaint it to say 'SS Didn't Sign Up For This.' Or 'SS Prisoner, Who Are We Kidding.'

Video

[wolfuncaged]

If you do not like the ship, you are welcome to leave.

Re: Video

[i_got_this]

Ship itself seems okay, just got a stupid name. Don't tell me you like it?

[wolfuncaged]

It is as good a name as any. Besides, that is not a important as the crew.

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[survives]

I dunno. I think the names are kinda cute, you know?

Re: video

[i_got_this]

They're not supposed to be cute, they're supposed to be intimidating. Maybe that's why you guys got attacked before; no respect for a fleet named after bullshit.

[survives]

Intimidating?! It's not like we were supposed to be here to fight anyway.

A-anyway, I don't think they'd have stopped if our ships were called stuff like... like... [In a deeper, gruffer tone,] The Crusher or the Destroyer!

video;

[merchantprince]

Wasn't mine, I can tell you that. It's just my job to make sure our motley crew doesn't run it headlong into a planet.

[His manner is smooth and unoffensive. He's pretty sure they have a new crew member, but he hasn't bothered coming out of his cave yet.]

If anyone tries jumping us they'll get a shot to the face. I've had enough of amateurs and thugs.

So, did you read that name out the window or are you actually on my ship?

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[i_got_this]

I'm on it.

So, you're the captain? Gotta say I don't mind so much knowing we got someone at the helm that's not a reflection of its namesake. [She ain't no amateur either.]

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[merchantprince]

Guess I'll get out of bed then. [He clears his throat.] Varric Tethras if you please. I'd say I'm exactly the opposite of a tourist: I hate traveling, and when I do? It's all business.

[He adjusts his coat and takes the communicator with him.]

Has anyone given you the tour?

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[maschinenpistole]

At least they're not doing what some people do - ridiculous boat pun names...

[ She makes a "Bleah!" face. ]

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[i_got_this]

Ugh, you're right Not sure which is worse.

[maschinenpistole]

Mmm... SS Heron or SS Pier Pressure... [ Shudder! ]

Can we change the names of our ships? Paperwork? Petition? [ She taps her chin. ] What if we all just agreed to start calling them something much more badass anyway?