video ♪ well fuck this

[merchantprince]

Who: Varric
Broadcast: Open a/v on the network.
Action: Anyone on the Marsiva, since he hasn't been shuffled yet.
When: Dec 29th, or so.

[video;]

[The feed, quite frankly, is crap. The communicator's been bumped on midsentence and appears to be capturing video of an empty bunk.]

—e's ass! Where is Bianca?

[There is some mad shuffling offscreen. A door opens, then closes. The shuffling returns, and this time, there is... chest hair? Chest hair. Sorry. He picks up the communicator, examing it and turning it in his hands, and then finally looking straight into the camera.]

I may be the most desirable dwarf in all of Kirkwall, but that doesn't give anyone free pass to kidnap me twice in a row. Come out of hiding, hand over the crossbow, and maybe I'll feel generous enough not to shoot someone in the face on the way out. Maybe.

[His brows knit together. He leans back and rubs at his temple.]

Maker's breath... my head feels like it's full of cotton. Cotton and shit I've never seen before.

Comments

[ino]

Well, there haven't really been any daggers here. Yet.

[ emphasis on that last part. any day now, she's sure ... ]

It's a type of skill, usually goes beyond what a regular human being could do. Looks like magic to a lot of people.

[merchantprince]

Give it some time and they'll improvise. Or we will. I'm really hoping the daggers are being held by us, and hopefully not being used on each other.

But that's probably asking too much.

[Varric pauses.]

By 'looks like magic', do you mean the sleight-of-hand stuff you'll see in the marketplace, or the 'I sure hope I don't get possessed by demons while I'm asleep' kind of magic?

[ino]

Unfortunately, it probably is. [ there's already been a few fights on the ships and they've not been there that long ... ]

Well, I wouldn't quite go as far as "possessed by demons", but I'd say it leans more towards the latter.

[merchantprince]

Put two people in a room long enough and they'll either make out or try to kill each other. Or both.

[He leans back a little.]

Okay, I'm not a mage, but I've known a couple personally, so I'm going to give you some advice when it comes to doing stuff that could get the attention of demons:

Don't.

[ino]

[ she laughs ]

Pretty much.

Don't worry, it's not like that -- there are definitely no demons involved. You just gave me a pretty huge range to work with.

[merchantprince]

I guess I did, huh.

[He shrugs lightly.]

I've seen a lot of weird stuff. Magic, or stuff that looks like magic, isn't really enough to send me running for the hills... usually. Just don't use it on me without warning.

[ino]

Yeah, that's not really in my job description.

[ not anymore, anyways ]

I can't say much for the other people in the fleet, though.

[merchantprince]

It's fine, I just thought I'd give you warning. You're too cute to get shot in the face. I'd feel bad.

[But everyone else is fair game.]

[ino]

[ well if there's one way to get on her good side, you just found it, Varric ]

Well, that's very nice of you~

[merchantprince]

[Flattery goes a long way. He chuckles warmly.]

It's the truth! With a face like that, you must have at least twenty friends who'd then shoot me in the face. And that would be a sad mess on both sides.

You been here long?

[ino]

Well, I don't know about twenty. But I pack enough punch for a couple of men myself.

Not that long. But then again, it doesn't seem like anybody has.

[merchantprince]

Beauty, mysterious not-magic, and fighting skills? Is there anything you can't do?

[Hrm.]

That means we don't know what to expect.