video ♪ well fuck this

[merchantprince]

Who: Varric
Broadcast: Open a/v on the network.
Action: Anyone on the Marsiva, since he hasn't been shuffled yet.
When: Dec 29th, or so.

[video;]

[The feed, quite frankly, is crap. The communicator's been bumped on midsentence and appears to be capturing video of an empty bunk.]

—e's ass! Where is Bianca?

[There is some mad shuffling offscreen. A door opens, then closes. The shuffling returns, and this time, there is... chest hair? Chest hair. Sorry. He picks up the communicator, examing it and turning it in his hands, and then finally looking straight into the camera.]

I may be the most desirable dwarf in all of Kirkwall, but that doesn't give anyone free pass to kidnap me twice in a row. Come out of hiding, hand over the crossbow, and maybe I'll feel generous enough not to shoot someone in the face on the way out. Maybe.

[His brows knit together. He leans back and rubs at his temple.]

Maker's breath... my head feels like it's full of cotton. Cotton and shit I've never seen before.

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[faithfulwisdom]

Alas, Master Dwarf, I fear your gentle persuasion will likely fall on deaf ears. [Because sass is clearly the best way to respond to this situation.]

[merchantprince]

[... is this guy for real? Varric just blinks for a moment or two because this person is like, right out of a novel.]

You speak so pretty, but you're definitely making fun of me. That's impressive! Usually when elves talk to me, they're like, 'Go get drunk off your ass you damn dwarf.'

I'm Varric, by the way.

[faithfulwisdom]

Spend enough time at court, my friend, and you will learn a thousand ways to mock without saying an unkind word. But by all means, if you wish to get drunk off your ass, do not let me stop you.

And you may call me Finrod.

[merchantprince]

I don't have a court. I have the Merchant's Guild. There's pretty words involved but usually it's weapons.

[He laughs at the elf (???) parroting shit back at him.]

Unfortunately, I'm stuck on this big ship until they send me somewhere. No drunk dwarves for your amusement tonight, messere.

[faithfulwisdom]

And fine weapons at that, if your people are at all like the dwarves with which I am familiar. Is this Kirkwall of yours a dwarven city? Or do you live among Men?

[merchantprince]

It's a human city, for certain values of the word. Elves and dwarves live there, too.

[He knows he is so very much not like a 'normal' dwarf.]

What about you?

[faithfulwisdom]

Nargothrond is an Elven city- a fortress, truly- though I had much help from the dwarves of the Blue Mountains in its construction. [Yeah, he's a little proud of that. Only the best for his realm, after all.]