driftfleet | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Who: Obi-Wan Kenobi
Broadcast: Text
Action: Iskaulit
When: Jan 30th

A: TEXT

I think it's time I retire from teaching for a while.

I don't suppose anyone knows a decent way to pass the time?

B: ACTION

[ When Stefan announced the prayer room, a quiet place for meditation, Obi-Wan had been thrilled. While he enjoyed and cared for the Huntress, quiet is not something they are known for. After talking to Anakin, he knew he was in dire need of quiet and inner peace

He does not regret ( he can not regret )

And yet.

In a way he had envisioned as a child, it had always been Master and Padawan, together. Even when separate, they fought together, learned together, believed in each other. But Qui-Gon died all too soon, and for so long, Obi-Wan threw his hands up against tradition. When Yoda told him to be Anakin's master, he chose to be Anakin's friend. He did not caution against attachment, only warned where it might lead.

He breathes heavily, his legs folded on the mat. It's not working. The Force is still too quiet, too alien at this moment. It doesn't understand his sorrow.

Obi-Wan chuckles, opening his eyes and pushing his hair back. It should be used to that by now.

Looking down at his hands, he's quiet when he speaks. ]

Please help me.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Ahsoka shakes her head dramatically, frustrated that he'd even think for a second that's what she meant.]

No, I-- I agree with you! Of course I agree with you. What she did was wrong. No question. I'll never forgive her for it. Nothing justifies the killing of innocent people.

I was referring to what she said. At my trial. Remember? She called us... an army, "fighting for the Dark Side."

[ Ah. That . . . would link up to Palpatine's involvement. A man Obi-Wan has never liked and not liked in turn. He rubs his beard. He wonders if he implies it carefully, Ahsoka will catch on. ]

I don't think that's completely true, but it has roots in the truth. The Jedi have been embroiled in the Senate and in the public's eye. All it would take is one small incident for the Jedi to be blamed and turned on.

No Jedi, the Republic and the Separatists on the verge of collapse . . . only a person in power already could seize it all.

Wait. Hold on. What do you mean no Jedi?

[He said the Jedi were defeated, not that there were none of them. Ahsoka simply can't even imagine a reality where that's the case. No matter how brutal the Clone Wars get, surely there isn't a force in the universe that's capable of erasing the entire Jedi Order.]

[ He smiles, barely there. ]

If the Sith win, you don't think they'd leave the Jedi alive, do you?

[ It's why he believes it's not Dooku. Dooku would not wipe out the entire Jedi order. Reinvent it, keep what he needs, rebuild it, but not exterminate it. ]

[An even more horrifying picture of the future begins to form in her mind. Worse, even, than the knowledge that everything she fought for was fake, is the knowledge that everything she knows and loves dies.

But Hera Syndulla says she knows her. Does that mean she escapes? By virtue of leaving? And Obi-Wan clearly survives too. But what of Anakin?

Oh. Anakin.]

... That's why Anakin's children don't know him. Isn't it. [She suddenly feels certain of it.] He doesn't die in the Clone Wars. It's-- it's the Sith.

But-- but that can't be right! He can't die. He's the chosen one. You saw it! I saw it! We were both there--! [At Mortis.]

Edited 2016-01-31 10:12 (UTC)

Chosen One or not, Anakin is still --

[ Anakin is just a person, someone he's trained for so long, he's not even sure where he began anymore. ]

-- someone who has weaknesses, like all of us. All Jedi can die, no matter how powerful they are.

[ It's something he's learned very quickly, very early on, in Naboo. ]

What we saw at Mortis . . . we're not even sure of. How Anakin brings balance, how it works . . . I don't know.

Remember how Mortis ended. We saw it. That is balance too.

[ A terrifying conclusion but still an end, a balance of all forces. Dead. ]

[Ahsoka shakes her head vehemently once more. She won't believe that. She can't.]

No. There's no way. That's not balance. What you're talking about is-- is death. Not just of us, but of everything. The Force is life! Without life, there can't be any Force.

There has to be something we're missing. I can't believe that the endgame of the Force is an end to the Jedi, or-- or total domination of the Sith. Otherwise... why bother with Luke? With Leia? With sparing you, or me? There's a reason. There has to be. We just don't understand it yet.

[Otherwise... what point even is there in continuing to believe in the Force anymore?]

[ He nods. The Force would not have spared him so clearly without reason. And that reason was mostly likely Luke and Leia. He was Luke's teacher and Leia clearly knows him very well. ]

If there is, I do not know it. Perhaps I was meant to survive to train Luke. I cannot speak for the Force. I only live in the here and now.

We don't have all the details. I doubt anyone does. Even the ones from the future won't know the whole story.

... Or perhaps ... we were meant to survive to ensure that the new generation doesn't repeat the mistakes of the old.

Even so ... it seems too cruel.

... No wonder you've been upset.

[ "So upset" might be putting it mildly, but he's not about to correct her. ]

Make no mistake. I would always prefer to know and do what I can. Whether I can change the future for myself or not is irrelevant. As long as I can change it for others.

[... Ahsoka narrows her eyes at him then, mouth forming into a familiar stubborn line. Suddenly a lot of things make sense. Obi-Wan's distance, his ultimatum to Anakin--]

Are you freaking kidding me right now?

You do not get to martyr yourself over this.

I'm not trying to martyr myself.

[ But he won't - can't leave the Jedi. Now, more than ever. ]

But I will not leave the Order.

And I'm not asking you to. I wouldn't ask that of anyone. Not even of Anakin. That's a personal decision, and I know you wouldn't.

What I'm saying is that you don't get to be all sad and... and decision-makey, all on your own! And keeping the rest of us out of the loop. We're in this together, for better or for worse. Your decisions affect all of us!

So if you're going to attempt to change the future, you have to share that with us, too.

It wasn't entirely my decision to share, Ahsoka. If it was only on me, I would. But it wasn't and in a way, it still isn't.

[ He leans back a bit, relaxing his posture, even though he still looks stiff and uncomfortable - ready for a fight. ]

I'm sharing it now because I believe it is the right thing to do. But it took me a while to sort it out. As you said, it affects a lot of people.

[ And his decision wasn't really made until Anakin made his. ]

[Ahsoka sighs and crosses her arms.]

... We need to have a talk about this. All of us. Together.

That's the only way we're ever going to all be on the same page. There's no point to any of this otherwise.

[ He doesn't like it. There's more in the future he knows he's not being told and he rather not press the issue. But Ahsoka has a point too. ]

The future is set for the others. What exactly would we talk about?

I don't know-- maybe if we had a plan, we could run it by them. They probably have insight and information we don't. They might be able to come up with solutions we can't, or tell us if our plan wouldn't work.

[ That might be the best solution. At least others won't have to compromise what they know. He nods, somber. ]

I can't violate the confidence given to me, but perhaps we can brainstorm some ideas.

... Good. Then-- that's that.

[She nods with determination, looking out into the middle distance.

She doesn't feel okay by any stretch of the imagination, but she can't sit around and do nothing, either. Having some kind of plan of action makes her feel better, at least. Like she's not completely helpless.

A small part of her wonders if this wouldn't be considered a certain kind of heresy, in the eyes of the Force. To question the will of the Force, to try to change it. That perhaps she should work on accepting it, rather than rejecting it. After all, who is she to question the Force?

But it's a very small part, and she shoves it down. Ahsoka is not made for inaction.]

[ He glances at her. She's very young and for a brief moment, he regrets saying anything at all. Perhaps it was a bit too much to place. And like Anakin, she too can react emotionally and impulsively.

Still . . . trust your instincts, he keeps telling himself. There's more here that he simply cannot do with knowledge.

He exhales. Some of it leaves him into the Force. He does not need to hold onto this anymore. It's out of his hands now. ]

[With Obi-Wan's exhale, she finds herself exhaling in sync, too-- an automatic reflex. With it, she feels her combativeness deflate somewhat, and all that she's left with is the horrible knowledge Obi-Wan has imparted to her.]

... I'm sorry. I don't mean to make your life more difficult, Obi-Wan.

But I think-- I think I need some time to myself right now. To think things through.

I know.

[ And he does. He knows Anakin and Ahsoka, in a way he doesn't know himself at times. It's partly the reason why he told her to begin with.

( it's why when Anakin chose, he felt nothing but relief )

No one makes a life difficult. You simply have to live it. Obi-Wan has been through difficulties that would make anyone quake in fear. He has yet to give in. Even though he came perilously close.

It is not fear that will defeat him, but despair.

He will not allow it. ]

Take the time you need, Ahsoka.

[She gives him a grateful smile, but it's weak.]

... Thanks.

You stay here. I don't think I'm quite ready to meditate on this one just yet.

[She walks over to the door, intending to head out, but then she turns back--]

And... thank you. For trusting me.

[ He can't find his voice. But he finally murmurs. ]

You're welcome.

[ He centers himself onto the mat once more. Peace is still beyond reach and he has a long way to go. ]

[As for Ahsoka, it's time to go find a punching bag.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only