driftfleet | →001← accidental video

[Oh, how wrong you are, friend.

[Roxas does notice him, because he's coming out of the bunk room, following a tiny cleaning droid out of curiosity. But there Riku is in the hall, and that's enough to make him freeze. He looks different. His hair is shorter... but it's him. Axel and Sora both mentioned Riku being here, so he's not as surprised to see him as he could be.]

... What are you doing here?

[It's a fair enough question, to start. The warning doesn't stop him from being tense, though.]

[ the moment he sees roxas, everything behind his chest starts to claw at his skin, and he feels the burn of shame start to crawl up his throat. his mouth feels dry, and it's all he can do to tear his widened eyes away from roxas, ashamed and guilty.

the question comes out of left field, but he slowly speaks, like trying to find his legs. ]

I, uh... needed to talk to Axel. [ is what he admits, hands shoved in his pockets. ]

[That guilt doesn't go unnoticed. It's not exactly Roxas' specialty to read people on an emotional front, but he's seen that kind of face before. He's been thinking about it a lot today.]

... Do you talk to him a lot now?

[Roxas has already established that Axel doesn't know about all the problems the two of them had. The social structure he's walked into is not what he remembers. Still, his questioning comes from a place of visible caution. He's trying to evaluate the danger of the situation.]

[ the question comes from such a left field that riku actually drags his eyes up to blink at roxas in surprise. almost immediately, he has to look away. after a moment, he shakes his head. ]

He's from a different... time than I am. I'm not an ally to him yet, [ and he hesitates, clenching his fists in his pockets before bringing one hand to drag it through his hair. ] so I'm just watching his back while he does... whatever.

... Yet.

[His eyes narrow, though it's more out of confusion than disbelief.]

When did you deal with him?

[ when did he deal with him?

... that's a loaded question. riku frowns, scouring the ground. ]

We met a while ago. We're not allies on his side--to me, he's a friend.

[That one makes him freeze up, eyes widening a bit.]

Friends..? Since when? Last I remember, you were hauling me off. Were you friends before that?

--did he help you?

Wha--no! [ just the implication makes riku dizzy. ]

No, that was all me. I'm--... [ and there, he hesitates, shame spreading over his face again as guilt crawls up his throat. ] That was no one's fault but me, I'm to blame.

[ he sighs shortly. ] Axel--Lea and I, we were allies... friends, after he got his heart back.

[Oh, now he just freezes. He stares at him, jaw dropped lightly, expression gaining an edge of shock and wonder.]

... Got it back..? How is that possible?

[ he grimaces at that, and shakes his head. ]

It's not... good. Your Heartless has to die, and... [ carefully; ] so does the Nobody. Sora fought the Organization, and won--but... their Heartlesses were destroyed, and once their bodies were, they were human again.

But... [ how can he even talk about hearts...? ] I think it was earlier than that. Apparently... your heart can grow back. I think his heart was growing back when he was with you and--

[ the name is on the tip of his tongue, and he feels like he's almost going to stagger, a wave of nausea hitting his stomach. ugh. these random migraines were irritating! ]

Ugh. With you, I think his heart was growing back, but... there's no way to know.

[The "and" forces a twitch in Roxas's fingers. Huh. That's weird.]

... So he... died? Was it Sora?

[His eyes harden, and his fists clench.]

And if we could grow hearts back, why did everyone say it wasn't possible? That we weren't supposed to exist? That something that doesn't really exist doesn't have any worth?

... he died protecting Sora, but--Sora didn't hurt him. Sora was trying to help.

[ he exhales slowly--his protectiveness flares up, because sora did nothing wrong. he has to cool it. he doesn't want to turn this into an altercation, even though riku fully believes that he deserves a good thrashing for what he did. his shoulders slacken. ]

Because that's what Xemnas told all of the Organization, and he's... part of the reason everyone's in this mess to begin with. [ the actual reason is, of course, master xehanort, but he's not sure he can explain all of this right now. ] He lied, to all of you. Kingdom Hearts wouldn't have given anyone their hearts back, he needed all thirteen members for something else.

Edited 2015-01-30 00:30 (UTC)

... He was lying. He made all of us think...

[The end of the sentence falls into a pit of struggled silence. Roxas brings a hand up to his head, eyes closing. His head is starting to hurt.]

How could anyone do that?!

It was all a part of someone else's plan. [ he chews the inside of his lip, and then shakes his head. ]

I'm sorry.

... [His hand drops, and he looks up at Riku, expression burning with a wide array of emotion Roxas has now confirmed he truly has.]

... Did you have a choice? Was there any other way to get what you were trying to get?

[He's back on what Riku himself did. Anything but what he's thinking about now.]

[ he blinks once, completely caught off-guard by that question. then, he stammers-- ]

Wh--what? [ he's never been asked this before. he shakes his head. ] I don't understand.

When you took me.

[He speaks a little louder, but he's not out-right shouting yet.]

Did you have any other option?

[ something dims in riku's eyes, and he crosses his arms, peering down at the ground still. ]

That's... we were out of time, but...

Riku. Was taking me the only way to save him? The only way to make things right? If you hadn't done it, would Xemnas have gotten what he wanted?

[ riku knows all the 'if's, the 'but's. he wants to say that it wasn't, because dooming roxas to essentially play backdrop to sora as his 'missing piece'. as much as he loves sora, and he does love him, he can't... just condemn roxas like that. it doesn't feel right. it didn't back then, and it doesn't now.

so when riku looks at roxas, it's haltingly, and he turns away from him, a bitter taste in his mouth. riku doesn't want to, but he knows facts. and the fact is... ]

Probably. I don't... I know you were on your way to face Xemnas, but--I don't think you could've won. [ his voice is considerably softer when he speaks, like he doesn't want to say it. ] Sora would've stayed asleep if I hadn't, but--

[ and then, he shakes his head firmly. ] That doesn't mean what I did was right at all.

[Roxas is quiet for several seconds once Riku finishes speaking, and the frustration visibly starts to drain from him, shoulders first. His gaze drops to the floor while the answer sinks in. He won't argue with him about whether it was right--he doesn't think it was, either. Even if it was their best option... But still. From what it sounds like, Sora had more to live for than he did, anyway.

[But his questions aren't all answered...

[He looks up at Riku, and this time there's something a touch more frightened there.]

... Do you know if I disappeared forever? Axel... He got his human body back, with his heart and everything... But I was separate from Sora. I never remembered his life. I never remembered anybody's life.

[ the guilt eases off of his shoulders for a moment--it's not crushing anymore, a flicker of hope in him as he flickers his eyes up and down roxas before he shakes his head. ]

I don't think you did. I dove into Sora's heart, and you were there, all of yourself. It's not like you dissolved, like sugar into lemonade. You're there. I think...

[ hm. ] I hope we can get you your own body, so you and Lea can be friends again. I think you have a heart, but maybe it's not with you. Sora held Kairi's heart for a while, so...

... So if I have a heart, it might... not even be mine?

[He knows he can feel. That's what all of this has to be. At least he knows he won't disappear--that they still know him, that he's still there, even if it's... like being trapped.]

[ he shakes his head and takes a step forward, before sharply taking it back. no. he doesn't want to make roxas feel apprehensive. ]

No--I think your heart is with someone else.

... Someone other than Sora?

[Okay now he just looks confused. What the fuck is our canon, Riku.]

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yes riku because it's not like anyone told you to bring roxas back or anything

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