driftfleet | 005 - Do I Creep You Out

Um, I guess I could let Officer Snuggles go to a party, but I don't know if I should be letting him go by himself for really long. He's still in training.

That's okay, you can be there too! I just need him for a party effect, and I'll make sure he has all the squeaky toys and...whatever it is that foxes like for the whole time, too.

Okay! That's totally fine then, for sure we can help out. Are there any tricks you need him to do or anything? He's got a lot of standard commands down now. I'll bring some of his treats with us and you can help me with those, he'll think you're the greatest ever.

Great! Well, he doesn't need to do any tricks, but if you've taught him anything, I can definitely work that into the celebration.

Oh, great! So I've taught him hunt, sit, stay, shake hands, and guard. We're working on play dead and kill!

Yeaaaaaah, we really, really, really, really don't need hunt or kill.

[WOW HE DID NOT THINK THIS THROUGH HE THOUGHT THEY WERE LIKE DOGS OR SOMETHING. HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW ANIMALS WORK. ]

But the rest will be totally useful!

Okay! I mean, I figured, since it's not a combat op.

Cool!

Deeefinately not.

I'll contact you when I'm ready for him. Thanks again!

Do I want to know?

[ Haruka had only vaguely been aware there were "little fox guys" available for lending, as she tries to ignore the network when at all possible.

Then again, if this is a surprise party, ignore her... ]

I got a party planned for a very special somepony here and I think they'd be perfect for an idea I have.

[BE AFRAID. ]

I doubt they're good storytellers. [ But nah. That was the last party, and heaven forbid any two parties be the same.

She quivers, Cheese. She quakes. ]

[That would be a crime punishable by SOMETHING DREADFUL. He'll figure it out when he ever actually, Celestia forbid, does a duplicate party. ]

Luckily, they don't have to do much other than be adorable animals.

When's the big day?

[ She's had her birthday. So has Michiru.

Whew. ]

[Random date towards the end of March goes here. ]

But it's all hush hush. It's gonna be a surprise party.

[ Got it. Haruka winks and places a fingertip over her mouth. ]

My lips are sealed.

[ Both about this and about the logic of openly broadcasting you want foxes...for a surprise party. ]

[THE PERSON WHO'S HAVING IT DOESN'T KNOW IT GOSH HARUKA GOSH. ]

Thanks! You're the best!

Anytime.

[ Lucky them. Foxes. Hooray. ]

[Dear Cheese, have a small, rather scarred dwarf staring at you with wide, mis-matched eyes and a slightly dumb-founded expression.]

... it's a talking horse.

[Cheese just stares flatly at the screen for a moment. Really? Really? ]

And it's a talking human. Never in my wildest dreams would I think to see one of those.

[And now you have gotten him from dumbfounded to madly curious in one step. With a smooth movement he is pulling out a journal and a pen and is looking at you avidly.]

So there are no humans where you are from, or they simply do not speak? Where are you from? Can all the horses speak? What about the other animals? Why do you have a wedge of cheese struck upon your hindquarter?

[Humans. Seriously. Just....humans. He'll just hoof-palm for a second, don't mind him, before turning to the camera again with a somewhat more strained smile.]

Gosh, I didn't know this was going to turn into an interview.

[Tyrion pauses, before he waves his pen around airily.]

I do beg your pardon, Ser Horse, but you must understand that I come from a place where talking animals are only the stuff of legend. I only wish to learn more about your culture, if that is at all possible.

The name's Cheese Sandwich, and if we're in the area of learning and all, I'm a pony, not a horse. Horses are bigger.

[Oh well, at least Tyrion hasn't told him he SHOULDN'T EXIST so he'll humour the guy. He sits on his haunches. ]

Okay, let's see. No, there are no humans where I come from. First I learned about your kind at all was when I was kidnapped to the place I was before here. I'm from Equestria, but that's just my country, the world is a lot bigger. Generally, hoofed animals and creatures like dragons and griffons can speak, while regular animals can't. Like dogs, and chickens and whatever. We keep those as pets.

[He points a forehoof to the aforementioned hindquarters. ]

It's my cutie mark. Technically a cheese sandwich accordion. All ponies get them when we come of age. It's kinda a rite of passage. We get them when we learn what our destiny is, where we belong in the world.

['Cheese Sandwich' - why would anyone want to name themselves after something you had for lunch? Hm.]

...Very well ... Ser ... Cheese Sandwich.

[He listens carefully, noting all of this down. Seemed rather unfair to the dogs and the like, but he did not control how things came out there. Clearly it had to deal with magic.]

Cutie mark - so like a birth mark? Or rather, it's a birth mark that comes in when you come of age?

[He tilts his head.] And you were meant to be an innkeeper? Or a chef sands musician?

[All hail the dominant pony race!]

I guess so, yeah. It's all magic, I guess? If that helps.

[He laughs out loud on that one/]

Nah, I'm a party planner. But our cutie marks aren't always literal.

video

video

video

video

Re: video

video

video

video

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video] - Private

[video] - Private

[video] - Private

[video] - Private

And now ... Tyrion meets a talking pony.

WELP

OH CHEESE ... what have you done?

he regrets EVERYTHING

Oh Cheese, he just wants to learn about you.

it is a good thing he is a good natured horse

You're a good sport Cheese.

He is, he is