driftfleet | 005 - Do I Creep You Out

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005 - Do I Creep You Out

Who: Cheese Sandwich and you!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Bishop
When: After his talk with Lily

Hey there my bipedal buddies. Does anypony have any of those little fox guys I can borrow for an evening? I need three to four of them.

It's for party pony business. Let me know if you have and we can work something out!

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[Humans. Seriously. Just....humans. He'll just hoof-palm for a second, don't mind him, before turning to the camera again with a somewhat more strained smile.]

Gosh, I didn't know this was going to turn into an interview.

[Tyrion pauses, before he waves his pen around airily.]

I do beg your pardon, Ser Horse, but you must understand that I come from a place where talking animals are only the stuff of legend. I only wish to learn more about your culture, if that is at all possible.

The name's Cheese Sandwich, and if we're in the area of learning and all, I'm a pony, not a horse. Horses are bigger.

[Oh well, at least Tyrion hasn't told him he SHOULDN'T EXIST so he'll humour the guy. He sits on his haunches. ]

Okay, let's see. No, there are no humans where I come from. First I learned about your kind at all was when I was kidnapped to the place I was before here. I'm from Equestria, but that's just my country, the world is a lot bigger. Generally, hoofed animals and creatures like dragons and griffons can speak, while regular animals can't. Like dogs, and chickens and whatever. We keep those as pets.

[He points a forehoof to the aforementioned hindquarters. ]

It's my cutie mark. Technically a cheese sandwich accordion. All ponies get them when we come of age. It's kinda a rite of passage. We get them when we learn what our destiny is, where we belong in the world.

['Cheese Sandwich' - why would anyone want to name themselves after something you had for lunch? Hm.]

...Very well ... Ser ... Cheese Sandwich.

[He listens carefully, noting all of this down. Seemed rather unfair to the dogs and the like, but he did not control how things came out there. Clearly it had to deal with magic.]

Cutie mark - so like a birth mark? Or rather, it's a birth mark that comes in when you come of age?

[He tilts his head.] And you were meant to be an innkeeper? Or a chef sands musician?

[All hail the dominant pony race!]

I guess so, yeah. It's all magic, I guess? If that helps.

[He laughs out loud on that one/]

Nah, I'm a party planner. But our cutie marks aren't always literal.

[Well that is only slightly ...creepy.]

Considering how much magic there is? I find that utterly believable.

[Tyrion smiled, before he tilted his head curiously.]

So sometimes they are merely ... metaphors?

Especially in my world. There's heaps of it!

[He gives a shrug of his little pony shoulders. ]

Something like that, yeah. We usually have our destiny figured out when we get them, so we don't really have to judge them by that they depict.

I sincerely hope there are not heaps of magic lying about where anyone might get into trouble with them...

[Tyrion mused, then wondered at the fact that he just saw a pony shrug.]

So - your destiny depends on your cutie mark. Do you ever find that ... well, narrowing?

You can only really use it if you're a unicorn. Only them and alicorns can consciously cast spells.

You know, I get asked that by humans a lot. But for us ponies? It's just how things are. We're happy knowing what our paths are, and following them.

Ah hah - can other ponies ... unconsciously cast them?

[He nodded his head slowly.] It is like being born into a great house, then.

Not really? I guess we all have a magic of our own, but it's not like it's something we can wield or anything like that.

[He remembers Anne Boleyn so this helps a little.] Sure, a little like that. Except most of us aren't...you know, rich or anything.

Hm. So only some of you wield magic - do those magical ponies rule over the rest of you?

[Another frown.] ... so you're all ... destitute? For the most part?

Only the alicorns, they have wings and horns, and their position is earned? Not sure how, but we recently got a new one.

I wouldn't go that far, most ponies have enough to get by. We help one another out.

I see ... interesting. That seems like a peculiar way to rule, but I have no room to talk. We had five kings in the last so many years.

Huh that's a lot. All our rulers are mares, the only kings we've ever had were thousands of years in the past, and they were usurpers who got defeated.

[Matriarchal society for the win, it seems. ]

Now see ... I know one Queen I would prefer to stand like that. A great line of Queens - wouldn't that be something? [He mused quietly. It's not a bad thought honestly.]

We've sure never suffered for it. The Princesses rule us well.

Well, you certainly don't seem to be abused in any way - so I would say ... yes. Yes they do.

[Unlike Tyrion, whose scar runs across his entire face -- sigh.]

So tell me, Cheese Sandwich, do we humans seem odd to you?

Welll, it's been a long while since I was home, but no. No abuse here.

[Poor guy. That gets a laugh out of him, though/]

Oh, you have no idea. Buuuuut I've got pretty used to humanity by now. Not to say you guys still can't surprise me sometimes. Believe me, you still do.

I am glad you come from such a happy world ... and I appreciate your honesty with me.

After hearing about how some other worlds can be like? Me too!

Hey, don't mention it, I'm a cards on the table kinda stallion.

Oh, some are not so bad ... you simply must have the temperament to survive them.

[One corner of his mouth lifted.] Something I have slowly learned is more true than not of most people.

I think I'll pass all the same. This place and Paradisa were tough enough.

[And he's used to villains trying to take over HIS home by sheer force every other month. ]

That so?

[He says that idly, half interested. He's not always completely truthful, and that HAS caused him trouble in the past, and as a result he's tried to be better about that. Unless the subject of his past comes up, of course. That's where he trips up.]

What is Paradisa?

[There was a new name he had not heard before.]

Yes ... that is so.

It's the place I was before here. Another one of those other-worldly-kidnappy places. Paradisa was a magical castle.

Hmm. Good to know.

he regrets EVERYTHING

Oh Cheese, he just wants to learn about you.

it is a good thing he is a good natured horse

You're a good sport Cheese.

He is, he is

Oooooh booooy.

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