driftfleet | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: natalie goodman
Broadcast: fleetwide
Action: n/a
When: now!

you know what sucks about being brought here

[oh boy, here we go.]

like apart from being sol in space. the basic premise here is that this is reality tv right? which is never actually reality. so they specifically picked us based on entertainment value is my guess. can you imagine anyone normal and fine and competent being interesting to watch? nah, not as much as someone who's constantly a mess. isn't it weird to think about how everyone here was picked probably because they're dysfunctional enough for viewers to keep watching? adding insult to injury if you ask me.

anyways i'm kind of curious about what makes you strange enough to be here. fill me in if you've got a guess.

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i guess
dont think i can compete with anything that involves getting maimed or slaughtered on a weekly basis though

totally different

presumably nobody forced you into a room with the people you were supposed to do war against and used magic to make sure you couldn't get out until it was over

i maintain that i still have common sense bc i would have gotten the hell out of dodge if i could

Edited 2016-03-27 04:23 (UTC)

well i meant storywise but yeah im not really interested in challenging anyone from the other cesspits about the element of choice involved in their abduction
at least my shit is all on me
or
well
mostly

it seems really fucked to say anyone who's been kidnapped by shitholes before this is lucky but

im pretty jealous honestly

yeah if im 100% unironically honest for a change of pace
it was a better deal than where i came from
still wouldnt go back but
at least there was a purpose to it all
better than here where you just kind of wait around until a mysterious possibly nonexistent alien audience decides they get bored of you and put you in storage or wherever it is they do with us

idk man it's pretty nice not having to worry about getting killed, it's been like two months which is a big thing for me

fingers crossed that neither of us gets fridged though

almost asking to jinx it
isnt that how it works

that's not a thing

but if i disappear ill make sure i leave you a card saying "i told you so"

i'm never telling you my name specifically so you cannot ever do that

challenge accepted

[Time to start reading all the other replies to this post to see if anyone convinced broadcast no. ### to swap names.]

joke's on you

even if you figure it out you won't know what ship i'm on and my name on the roster is different than the one i actually use

suck it

that actually helps to know but ok
you also definitely mentioned which ship youre on
like
just fyi

i cant remember what we were talking about like two minutes

everyone has flaws don't criticize me

its too late ive got to do something with this written critique
its signed dated and notarized
for extra annoying points in this gratuitous act of overcommitment

i'm throwing it out the airlock into the void of space so it will escape all acknowledgement

what if it comes back
could be like homeward bound
it always knows its way home no matter how many space pits it falls into

on second thought i'm going to burn it

ill make sure i add wanton cruelty to paper to the list of crimes
for completions sake

cruelty to paper? is that a crime now?

Edited 2016-04-04 03:51 (UTC)

oh hell yeah
paper is like
an endangered fucking species out here in the boonies of space
its rarer than a tree frog from an extinct earth
or a meme from the early 2000s
at least thats the explanation i made up just now for why an alien got pissed at me when i almost walked off with one of their books
it was an accident for the record

sorry i don't know if i can communicate with someone who uses the word memes

should i switch to binary

you should switch to not being a nerd

dont even hate
its an incurable condition i picked up from my sister
who
now that i think about it
probably picked it up from our parents
next thing you know everyone in the fleet will contract the disease
its highly contagious

(no subject)

robitussin - 2016-04-09 06:21 (UTC) - Expand

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