Video

[killedwithlove]

Who: Cole
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Pathstone unless asked to go somewhere
When: Now-ish?


[The broadcast is very unusual, coming from Cole. He replies, sometimes, but he very rarely initiates communication through the network.

The camera points at the ceiling, catching just the edge of Cole's hat. He has it in his lap but doesn't try to look into it.]

I need someone who is able to kill me if I turn into a demon. Cassandra promised to, but she's gone and Jove and Solas said they would, but with them gone, I need someone to make sure I'm not a danger to people.

Comments

[killedwithlove]

Yes. But there has to be a plan if I do. Someone who will know and stop me before I hurt or kill people.

[sandhate]

Do you have a plan to stop you from becoming Despair first? That sounds like the Plan A you're looking for.

Trust me, if you start hurting or killing people, there won't be a shortage of people who are willing to stop you by whatever means available.

[killedwithlove]

No. I can't plan to stop that unless I go away from all mortals. And that might not stop it.

... willing and able aren't the same.

[sandhate]

Look. If you threaten the ship, I'll end you myself.

But let's talk about how you can stop yourself from being a demon first. What do you mean, "go away from all mortals"?

[ Please speak sense. ]

[killedwithlove]

... can you do that?

[It's not a brag or anything, it's a genuine curiosity.]

Well, to stop Compassion Despairing, you remove the sources of Despair. I think.

[sandhate]

I don't see why not. [ In which he doubts he'll ever need to but in the case this does happen. ] You would be a demon, so I wouldn't be really killing you exactly.

Where are the sources of Despair?

[killedwithlove]

No. It would be me. Just DespairCole, not CompassionCole.

People. Only people can despair.

[sandhate]

Uh, okay.

When it does seem like you'll turn into a Despair Cole, we'll isolate you on a shuttle, away from all the people. Would that work?

[killedwithlove]

I don't know.

I can fly shuttles. I have Pilot Augment.

[sandhate]

Good. Then that's what we'll do.

Now, what can we do to reverse that? Is it possible to turn you back to Normal Cole -- Uh, Compassion Cole?

[killedwithlove]

... I don't know.

We managed to make Pride Wisdom again, but Wisdom still died, dissipated, dispersed.

[sandhate]

What--

[ He lets out a sigh and rubs his temples. ]

How does that happen? With people, again?

[killedwithlove]

I... maybe?

I don't know. I'm sorry. Solas knew. Rhys knew. But Solas left and Rhys has been gone for years.

[sandhate]

[ A beat ]

This might be a strange question. Cole, are you... people?

[killedwithlove]

No. Sort of. I'm a spirit. Compassion. But also Cole. He was a person.

[sandhate]

I don't know how to tell you this....

That doesn't clear anything up.

[killedwithlove]

... I'm a spirit. Of Compassion.

[sandhate]

But... you're also Cole, a person?

[killedwithlove]

Yes. I have all his memories and I've felt his emotions. I was his dying wish, to live and not be a mage.

[sandhate]

[ That is interesting. ]

If you're a person as well -- if you think you're a person, can't you focus on being Cole, being Compassion instead of Despair?

Shouldn't Cole the Person have the most influence over what Cole the Spirit becomes?

[killedwithlove]

Yes.

But I still know and feel everything that hurts everyone else. I can't do it over the communicator, it's like being deaf and blind to everything that matters.

[sandhate]

Then we stick to Plan A. In the mean time, you can surround yourself with people who can help you remain... Cole.

[killedwithlove]

... they went away.

Solas and Jove and Elly.

[sandhate]

I'm sorry to hear that, Cole. Can you talk about them?

Why them? What made them special?

[killedwithlove]

Yes, I can talk about them.

Jove is from Thedas, but not my Thedas. Solas is Solas, but he wasn't the Solas from my world, though he could have been.

Elly wasn't from Thedas, but she called me her big brother.

They were like a new family for me, here. That was what made them special.