Video

[killedwithlove]

Who: Cole
Broadcast: Fleetwide (because he doesn't get the 'private' setting)
Action: A shuttle from the Pathstone which is currently out on its own
When: Two days after this broadcast and minutes after this exchange on the Red Fish.

OOC: This post has potential cw: self harm, suicide, murder, and other self destructive things. Please use discretion.

[The broadcast shows Cole's face, too close to the camera, tear streaked and eyes red rimmed and looking the very model of misery and distress. His voice is a cracked whisper.]

Fenris? I need to see you. I need you to do what Cassandra would've and I know you will. Can.

Comments

[bryces_pup]

That's good. I'm sure they'd help you too. But if you want, I can be your friend as well.

[For whatever it's worth. She can't replace Jove or Solas or Elly, but she can at least offer to be there to help.]

[killedwithlove]

Mikleo wants to purify me. He thinks that takes the bad away, but sometimes the bad isn't corruption. It's just nature.

[bryces_pup]

Purify? I don't think you can purify emotions like that. And anyway, that's no way to deal with them. It's something you have to learn to work through.

[killedwithlove]

No. I didn't think so either. They called it Malevolence, but there's no Malevolence, just Despair and Mercy and Cole.

[bryces_pup]

And Cole is nowhere near Despair.

[Yep, that's her prognosis.]

You seem all right. Scared, and panicky, but not... demon-y. It sounds like you might have gotten close, but you managed to pull yourself back. And that says a lot.

[killedwithlove]

[He looks up at her, almost hopeful.]

You... think so? Not at all a bit demon now?

[bryces_pup]

Nope. I just see a scared young man who came into contact with someone who is... not well. And might I suggest strongly that you avoid this person in the future?

[killedwithlove]

I don't know how to help him. I can't help that much pain. I can't-

[He buries his face in his knees again.]

[bryces_pup]

Shh, shh. Cole, come back. Don't go back there. [Another memory: Schmooples, the nug she gave Leliana. The way her face lit up when she first petted him, and how he snuffled when she did. Just something else for Cole to latch onto than what he went through with Coil.] You cannot help everyone. Some are just... too far gone. Let him be. You need to take care of yourself, too.

[killedwithlove]

[He does seem to latch onto it, his hand moving as if to stroke a nug that isn't in his lap.]

I like nugs. Nugs are easy to make happy.

I don't know how to take care of me.

[bryces_pup]

They're sweet little things, aren't they? Schmooples was, at any rate.

[She sighs softly.]

Know your limits. If something is too much for you to handle, accept that and step back. You're only one person. You can only do so much.

[...gosh Riona, sounds like something YOU should be doing, too.]

[killedwithlove]

I like nugs. They never want to hurt anything.

[He hugs his knees, but he's less frightened, calming down.]

I just saw him. I went to meet him and it was... crashing, crushing, cramped. Hurt and burnt.

[bryces_pup]

['Much like you', she thinks, but doesn't voice her thoughts.]

It's all right, Cole. You didn't know. Just keep your distance from him from now on, okay?

[killedwithlove]

[He nods rapidly.]

I don't want to hurt people. Kill them. I don't want to be Despair. I'll stay away from him. From the Red Fish. Like the Tourist.

[bryces_pup]

Good. Then consider it a lesson learned. [And no one got injured or killed. Always a win.] Are you going to be all right? Would you like to stay here until you're more settled? I can make you a cup of warm milk.

[killedwithlove]

I don't drink milk.

I don't drink anything. Or eat. Or sleep.

[He hugs his knees tighter and nods. He wants to stay here, on the shuttle, where he feels like he can't hurt people.]

[bryces_pup]

[...

Oh.

Okay... then.]

All right. Would... you like me to stay here with you?

[killedwithlove]

[Still a spirit, however solid his body is.]

Only if you want to. You have other things need doing.

Shall we wrap this up?

[bryces_pup]

Not at all. I'll stay with you until you're ready.

Consider it wrapped!

[killedwithlove]

Thank you.

It might be a while. But if she's willing to just be there, he appreciates not being alone.