Video

[killedwithlove]

Who: Cole
Broadcast: Fleetwide (because he doesn't get the 'private' setting)
Action: A shuttle from the Pathstone which is currently out on its own
When: Two days after this broadcast and minutes after this exchange on the Red Fish.

OOC: This post has potential cw: self harm, suicide, murder, and other self destructive things. Please use discretion.

[The broadcast shows Cole's face, too close to the camera, tear streaked and eyes red rimmed and looking the very model of misery and distress. His voice is a cracked whisper.]

Fenris? I need to see you. I need you to do what Cassandra would've and I know you will. Can.

Comments

[namisan]

Cole...?

[That's it. For now, anyway; she likes him, and maybe being in tears on the network could be considered overshare, but you don't ignore that kind of thing.

If she'd caught his entry a few days ago, her response might have been entirely different.]

[killedwithlove]

[There's no response for a long moment and then seems to realise that's being aimed at him.]

Yes?

[Private]

[namisan]

[....

...okay, she makes it private from her end. Cole might not realise, but he also might not be the kind of person that cares, given who he is. But it's courtesy.]

You're upset. What's wrong?

locked;

[merchantprince]

[Varric is on this like white on rice, and not in a good way. He's never, ever seen Cole like this. It's frightening. He isn't thinking about Cole becoming a demon or some kind of bad spirit, he's worried about a friend-- a close friend in the future-- turning self-destructive.]

Kid. [His expression is firm.] Kid, tell me what's wrong.

[killedwithlove]

[Cole makes a noise torn between a growl and a whine and shoves the communicator away from himself.]

No. Nothing. I need Fenris.

[Yeah, the guy he's terrified of.]

[merchantprince]

Cole.

[He uses the kid's name for the first time like... ever.]

You don't want to die like that. Trust me. Trust me on this-- death right now won't help you. You'll only leave people behind. You don't want that.

[He leans in even as Cole tries to distance himself from the comm.]

What happened? What makes you so sure you need to die?

video.

[ofkirkwall]

[ Been a while since Hawke has felt her stomach sink like a stone, since she's looked at something and not had the instinctual urge to make a shitty joke about it. Would do it normally but this? This has her in knots. ]

What exactly are you asking him to do?

video.

[killedwithlove]

No.

[The communicator is dropped, showing the ceiling of a shuttle.]

He knows.

[ofkirkwall]

Tell me.

[ Her tone is curt, tense, all coiled muscles and gritted teeth. ]

[video]

[walljumper]

[Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa, he's seen that expression before, and it's one that - for a moment, at least - wipes the dumb, perpetual smile off of his face. It makes him look a little (truly, a tiny bit) older, makes his freckles stand out on dark skin.]

Hey! Hey, what's wrong?

[killedwithlove]

... you're not Fenris.

[walljumper]

No, but I don't have to be a Fenris to help somebody out! [Pure adult that he is, he actually puffs out his cheeks in a little pout.] Somethin' obviously happened, so you obviously need help. [It's.... it's almost logical. Why he thinks he can help is anyone's guess, probably because of the aura of "dumb helpful cheerful thing" he projects at all times.]

Video

[wolfuncaged]

[As much as he would be so very okay with getting rid of the spirit for a while, Fenris is not playing that game. Wherever he is, it's not on the Tourist. He's removed himself not out of fear, but because he can't trust himself not kill the blighted thing. Maker's Balls, Varric, you owe him one. ]

I can, and there is little I would like more. But I have given my word. You will not get relief from me.

[killedwithlove]

No!

[Cole rocks, shaking the communicator with his movements but there's no anger or violence at being refused, just fear.]

No, no, you want to, I know you do, you want me dead, you always have, my suffering is a mask, a make believe to you.

[wolfuncaged]

All very true, yes.

[No need to deny that. Cole is a THING to Fenris, something that got out of the Fade and should be firmly put back in there. But the others seem to think Cole is more than that. ]

But I have been asked not to dispatch you, and I do not intend to ignore that request.

video;

[bryces_pup]

[She'd been making herself scarce on the network, but this? This needs her attention, and not just with simple text.]

Cole. What has happened?

[Given his earlier post... probably nothing good.]

[killedwithlove]

Riona!

[He's been denied what he wants from Fenris. Riona might understand. Riona might agree.]

I Despaired. You have to help me, Fenris won't!

[bryces_pup]

Okay, stay calm. Are you sure you're... Despairing? I see panic, but I don't see despair.

video; private

[dancingmd]

[Oh no, no, no. If this is about that last network post... despite her alarm, she is doing her best to reel in her emotions, to stay calm, knowing how much that ]

Cole, what's happened?

video; private

[killedwithlove]

You can't help. You won't help. This above all, do no harm, you think killing me would be harm, even if it saves others, you can't do it, I'm sorry, you can't help.

video; private

[dancingmd]

[No. She won't accept that: there has to be another way.]

Why do you think you're such a danger to others?

video; private

[nugqueen]

[Already? Maker this was becoming a problem. She didn't know that she could do what Lambert did. He was a Seeker like Cassandra and Leliana honestly didn't want to hurt him. Varric would be furious.]

Cole, calm down. Tell me what happened. Cassandra is not here to help you but perhaps I can.

[Cassandra wouldn't even stop to talk to him she'd probably put a blade in him without preamble. Leliana had been trying, since things with Riona had been so tense, to show a softer touch when it came to these situations. She would do what needed to be done, what ever way she could, and that didn't change.]

video; private

[killedwithlove]

[Cassandra would've talked to him. Cassandra had been his confidante, who encouraged him to talk to her, even if the things he said were upsetting.]

I tried to cut his throat. It was cold, but I couldn't feel it and he wanted to die and he wanted to suffer and I wanted to do it, I offered for him to look into my eyes and he didn't say yes, didn't say no, he would've let me!

voice; wanders back here days later

[nerdeology]

[buddy. buddy, no.]

If you're- if this is about trying to get yourself killed again- please, stop.

[killedwithlove]

[In a very surprising turn of events, especially from Cole, he reaches over and turns off the communicator.

He doesn't want to talk to Mikleo. It's not like his world.]