Video

[killedwithlove]

Who: Cole
Broadcast: Fleetwide (because he doesn't get the 'private' setting)
Action: A shuttle from the Pathstone which is currently out on its own
When: Two days after this broadcast and minutes after this exchange on the Red Fish.

OOC: This post has potential cw: self harm, suicide, murder, and other self destructive things. Please use discretion.

[The broadcast shows Cole's face, too close to the camera, tear streaked and eyes red rimmed and looking the very model of misery and distress. His voice is a cracked whisper.]

Fenris? I need to see you. I need you to do what Cassandra would've and I know you will. Can.

Comments

[ofkirkwall]

[ She's lost, hopelessly lost, uncertain how to help but wanting to help regardless. ]

Maybe? I don't know. [ Can spirits learn? ] You could try.

[killedwithlove]

How many lives are you willing to risk on that? How many people could I hurt or kill learning?

[ofkirkwall]

I can't see the future, Cole. You might not hurt anyone. [ They can't really risk it, can they? Maybes are as dangerous as a proper threat. ] Better than dying, isn't it? Better than turning the whole fleet against Fenris if he does what you want him to do.

[ He would do it too and somehow she thinks that wouldn't go down well with the rest of the fleet. ]

[killedwithlove]

... why would they be angry at Fenris?

[He still doesn't really get the big picture. He can only deal with small, personal scale, anything else is a bit too much.]

[ofkirkwall]

Wouldn't you be angry at the person who killed your friend?

[killedwithlove]

Maybe.

It depends why they did it.

[But he's calmer.]

[ofkirkwall]

[ Her blind stumbling has paid off. ]

I wouldn't care about the reason, I'd be pissed that they did it. I'd want to find them and hurt them for killing my friend. [ She's putting it lightly in truth in hopes it'd make some semblance of sense to him. ]

[killedwithlove]

... so I should do it myself, so no one is angry at Fenris. His life is hard enough, I don't want to make it harder.

[Well, he nearly got there.]

[ofkirkwall]

[ She recoils suddenly and groans. ]

No, no! That's not what I─ Don't do it at all.

[killedwithlove]

... I don't want to do it. But it means no one else has to and then they won't be hated. I don't think I can cut my own throat.

[ofkirkwall]

You don't have to die, Cole! You don't even know if you'll stay dead, what if you don't? What if you wake back up as if nothing happened?

[killedwithlove]

... You... no, spirits can be dissipated. It happens. Enough damage and they spin apart into tiny wisps, minute stars spinning back into suns and spirits.

I'm not immortal.

[ofkirkwall]

Are you sure the people keeping us here are going to let you dissipate?

[killedwithlove]

[Silence follows. He's out of sight, but it's not the silence of before, when he left. It's just a soft breathing and contemplating.]

No. I'm not sure.

[ofkirkwall]

Dying will be pointless if you just come back.

[killedwithlove]

[More silence. More contemplation.

He wants Solas. Solas would make it all make sense. But Solas is gone. Again.]

I don't want to hurt anyone. But I did.

[ofkirkwall]

You made a mistake.

[ It'd be simpler for them all if Solas was still around, but he isn't. ]

Humans do that all the time. Just take a look at my life.

[killedwithlove]

I despaired

[ofkirkwall]

You didn't meant to do it, so it was a mistake.

[killedwithlove]

It's too dangerous.

... I could stay here. In a shuttle. Where I can't hurt people. I don't need food. Or drink. Or sleep.

[ofkirkwall]

[ Now she is just pulling a face, a sort of "this is a poor idea" face. ]

You'll run out of fuel.

[killedwithlove]

But the fleet won't let anything be left behind, so it will be towed!

[He assumes.]

[ofkirkwall]

What if your friends want to see you?

[killedwithlove]

Most of them are gone now.

And it's not safe. I could hurt them.

[ofkirkwall]

It'll only be dangerous if you keep thinking it'll be dangerous, Cole.