driftfleet | Tourist ROAD TRIP (mingle)

[ Afraid? Yes. Deep down, there is that fear. Of a love so strong, so consuming that he would divert his path and be reckless. He loved humanity too much to abandon them to their faith, but selfishness was a human part of him.

His parents have loved each other so much and Leto would never stop resenting them for it, resenting their part in his life. ]

Returning love is easy. Committing to it is harder. I have never committed. I only gave away.

_{[ He is quiet a moment, brushing his hand across Leto's. ]}

I'm not sure I can be much help in matters of love. I'm not very good with it myself.

You love, you dally, you sacrifice.

[ He sighs. ] That part is easy. Living for someone else -- that is hard. It comes with fears, regrets. Doubts.

I would not mind it so if I could do it. But to live means to have the essential parts of living. To eat, to sleep, to breathe as one. Not to live as a husk while the other must entertain life with an immortal.

Ah, that I know. I may not romantically love them, but I love my crew - they're my family. Every day there are doubts and fears, wondering if I'm making the right decision for them as their leader. But those things just show that you care. They come with the territory, because you're placing someone else before yourself.

Could you not ask to alter your bargain? To let you feel those essential parts of yourself, even for just a little bit? While you're here, perhaps?

[ His lips twitch faintly, though there's no real humour there. ] Don't I do that already?

There is no asking. It's only me. I don't have anyone on this path to direct or help me.

That's pretty much life, isn't it?

_{[ He gave him a rueful smile. ]}

All you can do, Leto, all any of us should ever do, is what we believe is right.

_{[ He leaned in, touching his forehead to Leto's hair. ]}

It just sucks when the right thing is the thing that hurts us most.

Fate is a fickle mistress and I've danced with her in the moonlight.

[ There's a trickle of frustration with himself, whenever he gets into these moods. What right does he have to feel bad for a choice he knowingly made? ]

I did the right thing. And it will matter, centuries from now. It will matter.

[ But it'll be too late for him by then. He exhales, closing his eyes and soaking up Jim's touches. ]

That's what matters in the end, isn't it? That you made the right choice. Even though it was hard. But that's what leaders of men do, don't we? We make the hard choices.

_{[ He shifted, motioning for Leto to put his hand in Kirk's lap. ]}

If it's any consolation - I'll dance with you any time.

[ He laughs softly, laying his head down in Jim's lap. ]

Is that what you took from that?

Edited 2016-06-13 06:19 (UTC)

_{[ He smiled down at him, smoothing his fingers through his hair and
the other hand massaging his temple. ]}

Well, I hate to think that you're without a consistent dance partner. That's just to sad a thought.

[ He hums softly. He used to do this with Ghanima. Lay his head on her lap as she threaded her fingers in his hair. She'd let him stay as he raged and begged and pleaded for his life. ]

Is it really so sad?

Well, sure. Everyone should have someone in their life they can dance with - especially under moonlight.

_{[ He continues with the motions since Leto seemed to enjoy them,
making himself comfortable back against his own pillows. ]}

We have a saying in the desert. We hide from the sun but we walk under the moon. Now, the desert is a little more gentle, touched by moisture and the green so it holds less power.

Well, that just makes practical sense. It's far to hot in the day time - it would be easier on the body to move around in the night. Most desert animals do that anyways, don't they?

_{[ He continued massaging his temples with slow, idle circles. ]}

Is that your doing? Gentling the desert?

No. It was my father's. It was his promise to the Fremen. I'll have to cull it a little now. Make sure there's enough desert for us. For the universe.

Your people require a desert to live?

_{[ The question has true curiosity in it, wondering at needing a desert versus something easier to make a living in. Desert's on his world had never been precisely welcoming of humans, though they had managed to carve livings out of the sand. ]}

The universe needs that desert. It is the only place where the Sandworms can live. And the only place where they can find Spice.

[ He looks up, his blue eyes bright and unseeing. ] The problem is that humanity has become dependent on it. All those inventions, all those accomplishments . . . all that could have been never happened. They want the certainty of knowing the future.

Why are the sandworms necessary? And what's Spice?

_{[ He was genuinely curious, even as he was happy to give the other
something to think on and explain than his lost love, the impossible love.
He shifted a bit to be more comfortable and continued his gentle stroking
of his friend's hair and temples. ]}

I forget people rarely know of this.

[ He traces a circle in the air. ] The Sandworms are part of the Spice cycle. Spice keeps the empire running. Spaceships need Spice. Politicians, leaders, military men . . . they all hunger for that certainty of Spice. Certainty of the future.

It is a drug no one can escape.

So... is it a drug or is it an energy source? Both?

_{[ It sounded so strange, especially since his own ships did not run on
Spice, but dilithium crystals and nuclear energy cores. ]}

The navigators need the Spice to chart their course across the stars. No accidents. No mistakes. No losses. It does not power the ships but it helps people make their way through the unknown.

_{[ He cocked his head, pursing his lips, trying to make sense of that.
]}

What do you mean? How does Spice - a drug - help?

It has certain properties. Like my ability to see the future is derived from the Spice in my blood.

Think of your ship. A guild navigator could take you anywhere. Any place in the horizon. Any planet you wished to find. They could do that.

And if I don't know where I want to go yet? Though we have machines that can do that too - course plots and sensors.

Machines offer data, but not certainty. That is the difference. Space, after all, can be a dangerous place.

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