driftfleet | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: natalie goodman
Broadcast: yes
Action: she'll be on the planet and the pathstone if anyone wants action!
When: 6/27

so i passed out for like literally a week and apparently woke up in hell because i went to check out this new place and everyone keeps trying to hold my hand

question 1: why

question 2: what did i do to deserve this

discuss

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why would i go to a doctor to chop off my hands

they would just say no

well it's not like they know what they're talking about or anything!

if this were a video i would be doing that thing where i tilt my hand back and forth to indicate uncertainty

in short: ehhhh

if this were a video I'd be doing that thing where I give you a I-judge-your-life choices look.

in short: :|

yes

because i was being extremely serious when i said i was going to cut my hands off

no sarcasm at all

shh, you're spoiling the banter.

right sorry

note to self don't break character

rule number one of reality tv: nothing can ever be real.

do you think if we ever started bullshitting less they would like cut off our coverage

space ceo's like "you're not making people laugh anymore"

hey, worth a shot! got anything you wanna get off your chest?

first i want you to guess like a percentage of how likely it is that i'll answer that question honestly, given the fact that i am allergic to feelings

let's see, divide by a hundred, carry the never-gonna-happen... about...0.1%?

your calculations would be correct

but if the reverse is true, shoot

I don't shoot, I'm schott

you don't know how tempting it was to just not respond and pretend that pun never happened

ehh, wrong, we were looking for a switch to a deadpan look on video. we would also have accepted a photo attachment of one. better luck next time, and thanks for playing!

[she sends an attachment, but it's just a closeup of her middle finger extended. sorry winn.]

[ wow so harsh. he sends her attachment back to her - after drawing a sad face and a bruise on her finger, and captioning it sore loser.

can't you tell he's almost 30 years old. ]

implying i am a loser in any way shape or form

where there's a WINNer, there must also be a loser.

if i'm being nice enough not to make fun of your name it should automatically bar you from making "winn" puns

this is a two way street

let me translate - you got nothing.

that is incorrect translation do not misquote me sir

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