driftfleet | 003 || video;

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003 || video;

Who: Leliana w/ cameo from one mabari pup
Broadcast: Yes!
Action: aboard the Blue Fish
When: Now!

[Have a mabari pup, people! Kiter is very excited that Leliana has been taking care of him, though she is having trouble contending with all the puppy drool. Don't mind her as she pulls a face while he tries to chew her cowl.]

Kiter, sit.

[Nope. Not gonna happen - you are not the master, Leliana.]

Maker, this pup... you're a naughty one, no?

[Going to just put a hand a top his head while she tries to stay in view of the feed, smiling a bit to herself. She really does have a weakness for animals.]

For anyone who it might concern of the Thedasian variety or otherwise - Lady Riona Cousland is indisposed for an unforeseeable amount of time. She won't wake up no matter what I try.

[She drew on your face - you're welcome, Riona.]

For now this young one is my charge until she returns to good health. If anyone seeks to ask questions they may do so here or find me in the Interfaith Center or aboard the Blue Fish.

[Though she's going to have to find someone to babysit Kiter when she has to leave him. Maker this pup is hyper.]

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[What Bethany didn't know was that the years between Lothering and her time as the Inquisition's spymaster had hardened her heart a bit. She knew how to play political games and she knew how to be kind, but then kindness didn't always get the job done, no? This Hawke's conflicting information was a threat to Ferelden's diplomatic stability and to the Inquisition's stability if his account was true. She had no doubt in his world it would be disastrous. In hers it meant nothing except that she was angry that Riona now questioned what was the truth and what was not. She hadn't been in Ferelden when Aldwolfe's version of events took place and Leliana had no recollection of them. There were too many holes.]

And I wouldn't dream of playing the Game with you. You'd probably lose, as so many do.

[Definitely with her, at least.]

Kiter remains with Riona because he is hers and he does not leave her side for that reason. I chose Marian Hawke's assistance over yours because I know her and she's given more than enough reason to trust her judgement. I could very well ask someone else who actually resides aboard the Blue Fish instead of her but I like to have options.

[Her blue eyes are soft but piercing, gauging his reactions as she speaks.]

Riona trusts her. Call it politics, if you will. I'd sooner trust the stranger I know than the one I don't. It's no slight against you, I promise. I didn't realize it would bother you so much to have limited access to a mabari that doesn't belong to you.

[If he wants to talk about Riona's issues with him then he'll have to do more digging. Leliana wasn't going to involve that in this conversation willingly. It wasn't her quarrel, though she had no problem spelling it out for him that she wasn't pleased if that's what he wanted to hear.]

This isn't about the mabari and as I understand it you're far too intelligent to think I'd be so petty.

[Playing dumb to frustrate him? Maybe. It seems childish for a celebrated spymaster, but perhaps that's all part of it. Who knows, he's not a fine point himself, no matter how he tries to be socially adept. He may not be practiced at the smoke and mirrors game, but he certainly knows when its being played on him.]

Your distaste is palpable, something I'm certain you could hide if you chose and therefore are choosing not to, instead taking a dig at me about Fenris. Is it because of whatever Lady Cousland has undoubtedly told you, or is there something more personal? Because I would much rather be judged on my own actions and baring than on terrible off-kilter first impressions and word of mouth.

[He has no idea that she doesn't know about what happened with his Fenris, how raw of a scar it is, never healing. All he can see is that she digs at him and the pain it causes, making him lash out verbally where he probably should not. Hell, where he knows he shouldn't. Leliana is frightening.

Ser Drools stirs in Adalwolfe's lap, rolling a bit and licking at Hawke's hand once lazily without opening his eyes.]

Whatever issues the Hero of Ferelden has with you are not my own. I do not understand what 'dig' you are referring to. Lady Cousland has never met Fenris before this place, to my knowledge, and whatever information the two have shared is unknown to me.

[She does find it interesting that he caught on that she's judging him, though. Was it that obvious? Probably. Not that it mattered to her one way or another.]

The only thing I judge are your actions. You told the Queen of Ferelden of the future, not knowing whether or not she actually knew it and that future will result in political instability for both Ferelden and the Inquisition. You gave no regard to her feelings or the consequences of sharing information of the future with a woman who clearly had not yet experienced it. She's awfully young to look my age or yours, no?

[Her gaze becomes more piercing, angry in fact. She had played over and over again the different paths his actions could take both in his world and in her own should Riona ever return and have memory of the things she'd learned. There was no way to discount that she would just forget the fact that her husband had gone off to die. That would jeopardize her mission to put an end to the Calling and to find a cure for the taint.]

My judgement of you lies in the fact that you didn't think. You merely acted and your actions could have ramifications we do not yet know of. We don't know what happens when we return, if we return. You make my job that much harder, Hawke, and that is precisely why I don't trust you with her mabari because she does not trust you. I am acting in her best interests while she is incapable of acting herself.

[She rests a hand to the sunburst adorning her chainmail dress. Her voice remains measured through out, though laced with venom.]

I may not be dressed as a Lay Sister but I am still a Lay Sister. My work is imperative to Thedas' continued prosperity. I am the Divine's Left Hand and the Divine was concerned with all Chantry matters, including Ferelden's political stability. The death of their King is akin to death of that stability, or did you forget what happened before you came to Kirkwall and why Alistair was named King in the first place?

[Oh. Well. Shit. Hopefully he's not going to have to explain that one regarding Fenris. If she's telling the truth, but Fenris isn't exactly the most talkative of people and he doubts the elf told anyone but Marian. Whether Marian told anyone is open for debate, but... Ugh, this is confusing.

Hawke tugs at his beard, a tell that he's frustrated and reevaluating how to approach a situation. It's difficult when he doesn't know who knows what, who experienced what. He can't assume anymore that people know things that he'd once held as common knowledge. It's the mistake he'd made in the first place with Riona, one that no one is acknowledging was, in fact, a mistake that perhaps he hadn't wanted to commit.]

Look. I didn't intend for this. I didn't know she didn't know; however young she looks, I'd never seen her before. She said who she was and I apologized, because I understand the hurt. I've lost people too, so many people, that I couldn't let it go without giving my condolences. I had no idea that she's from an earlier time, just as I had no idea that this Fenris was not the same one I knew, that Marian is an alternate version of myself, and that Anders... Anders is not my Anders.

[He looks at the video with his mouth in a thin line for a moment, not angry so much as something else unnameable. It's the same strained feeling when he'd found out his father was actually a blood mage, the same man who had taught him never to walk that path for the evil it could do. It turned his life upside down, but at least then he'd had friends to put it in perspective, to try to help him make sense of it. Here in the fleet? Everyone he thought he knew he doesn't actually and everyone else he's even friendly with has no real frame of reference to help.

If they'd even be willing.]

I do remember. I remember too much, and not all of it makes sense. I remember Alistair as King but I also remember him as a Warden, helping search for information about red lyrium to stop its spread. I remember his drive to redeem the Wardens. But you're right. It doesn't make sense. As King that should have been his first priority. Who am I to tell a King his priorities? I should have, but I didn't, and even that doesn't make sense.

[He pinches the bridge of his nose, Ser Drools in his lap poking his head up to see what's going on with all of his Master's movement, wagging his stub tail a few times.]

I admit I shouldn't have said anything to her, though I wish someone at least would acknowledge that I never intended any harm. She's the Queen of Ferelden, she demanded I tell her why I'd apologized. I couldn't well lie to her, not just because I'm no good at it.

[He lets his eyes meet the camera again, putting his hand back down on Drools' flank to pet him once more. The pup settles back down, but there's an unease to him; he knows something uncomfortable is going on, he just isn't sure what to do about it.]

I know you don't trust me, I know she doesn't. No one does, for various reasons. Fine. I understand, I do, but I am not a monster. I am not out to ruin lives or kill people. I'm just doing as I always have done, trying to do my best to keep things from falling apart, to make them better than they were. Maybe not in the name of the Maker or Andraste, but please understand that I do consider us on the same side and eternal belief that I'm nothing but a rabble-rouser isn't going to be helpful. The last thing I ever want is to hurt people. If you believe anything you've heard about me, you've got to at least believe that.

[He leans back, almost defeated looking, so different than the driven and focused Hawke he was when he'd met up with the Inquisition. He doesn't have a cause here, doesn't have something he feels he has to fight for, just pieces to pick up.]

For whatever it's worth to you, I am sorry. I never asked for any of it.

[She listens to his rant, crossing her arms. Kiter rests in her lap and having been awoken by her outburst he's quite frantic for attention, attempting to comfort Leliana somehow for whatever needed comforting. She presses a gentle hand to the pup's head so that he can rest against her chest, squirming and whining all the while.]

I don't believe I made myself plain enough.

[Her expression is grim. She's angry for him giving in so easily and she's angry that she had to be the one to calm the young queen's worries. He could have made up a lie, could have told her literally anything but the truth. Though not everyone traded in lies and secrets as she did. She had weighed what to tell Riona and what not to tell her before. There were times when she felt she'd said too much or times where she knew it must frustrate her friend she would not tell her enough. Still she didn't hesitate. Not everyone could say they had the same constraint.]

Your conflict with the Hero of Ferelden is not my conflict. Did she torture it out of you? No. She could demand all she like but you gave her information that was not yours to give. At the first sign of misinformation, instead of thinking that perhaps you'd said too much you said more than needed to be said. I don't know about you but if someone told me my beloved had perished I'd be rather upset too. You may not be a monster but you are incredibly foolish, no?

[Kiter, for his part, gave up on trying to comfort Leliana and instead fled to Riona's room, whining and crying as he retreated to her bedside.]

I'll accept that apology but it is not me who needs to forgive you.

I've already apologized to her. More than once.

[He'd gotten a split lip for his trouble, too, one that he'd had sported longer if Crowley hadn't decided to heal it on sight. He's still a bit annoyed about that, as silly as it is to think that keeping a superficial wound for longer would mean he's atoning for something he's not even entirely sure he should atone for. Perhaps he shouldn't have told her, he admits to that, but that's not what Riona was mad about, and with good reason.

He lets out a long breath, trying to center himself, to find that calm he was able to find in most cases before waking up in the Fleet. He'd hate to think that his ability to move past things was something that got left in Thedas with his father's staff.]

You did make yourself plain. I shouldn't have continued, but I do appreciate your listening. There... really aren't many people I can talk to about certain things.

[Why he can to Leliana is anyone's guess, even his own. He rubs his forehead with one hand, keeping the other in Drools as he whines into the feed, worried at hearing another mabari in distress.]

I'll let you see to Kiter. I'm sorry for that too, though I'm sure he's more worried about Riona than anyone.

[He considers offering some of the meat he's bought weekly from one of the stalls down on the planet, but as Leliana has already made it abundantly clear what she thinks of Adalwolfe's offers of help, he refrains.]

[She does feel sorry for the position they've both found themselves in. No one could find this place easy right out of the gate and having differing accounts of events made things worse. As it was she dreaded the day she'd have to tell Riona everything.]

All I ask is... in the future please respect that some things might be too unbearable for her to hear. No matter how she begs. If you need to, tell her I asked you not to tell her and if it's important to come to me.

[Because then that would avoid Hawke getting himself in more hot water and the only person left to blame would be her.]

The Hero of Ferelden is a cunning woman. She knows when to pick her battles. As for listening - should you ever need it you can find me in the Interfaith Center. I'm always willing to lend an ear.

[It was where she found herself most at peace, truly. She felt like herself there.]

We can speak again should you find yourself there.

I will.

[Though he wonders how a woman as crafty as all that, who became the Hero and Queen of Ferelden, would need to be nursemaided so closely by her peers. Or it could be just that's how far Leliana trusts him.

Yes, that's probably more likely. Still, that she gives him the option instead of just telling him to never speak to her or Riona ever again.

And then she does a strange thing and offers herself as a confidant. Someone to talk to, in the manner that reminds Adalwolfe again of how Bethany loved to spend time in the Chantry, however dangerous, listening to Leliana's stories. Was it because Leliana listened too? He tries to reconcile his short and business filled conversation with her at Skyhold, the bits of things that Varric had written to him, and his sister's account many years ago all as one person. It's really not so unbelievable, seeing her now.]

I may just go take a look in a few days if there's a lull in work. Thank you, Sister.

[He uses that title because it seems the one she's happiest under, from what little he could tell in their conversation. With a small smile and a grateful nod to her deference, he clicks off the feed.]

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