dear diary 002

[onetwosixshit]

Who: Oscar Mike and OPEN
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: N/A
When: 7/17/2016

So hey, everyone listening out there. This hippie planet is getting real boring real fast, and there are way too many of these little slug dudes all around.

So, like, who out there's up for some shooting shit? Except without the shooting part, since there ain't no guns around. So shooting shit with fists. Fisting? Aw who the hell cares. Who's up for some mahno eee mahno hardcore painfests winner take all except there's really nothing here so mainly just beating the crap outta eachother? A guy could get real out of practice here with nothing to fight.

Comments

[pain_train]

They wouldn't yell at you, just at me. If I'm dumb.

[onetwosixshit]

But like...you're not gonna break, are you?

[pain_train]

I shouldn't. All my bones are finished regrowing. And they're supposed to be stronger now.

[onetwosixshit]

Oh. That's kinda badass. So like, you didn't have bones before or what?

[pain_train]

I had regular bones for a long time, but then I got thrown out of a 99th story window and pulped them all. So I got a new skeleton grown in me that's made out of composites. And then my back got broken again like a month ago because I got in an accident.

[onetwosixshit]

Woooahhhh.

[Alright, that earns some major points.]

I've been blown up and like...torn apart, but growing a new skeleton sounds super tough. Super badass.

[pain_train]

The nanobots did all the hard work. I just had to be in fucking traction for like months. But now I have a badass composite skeleton.

[onetwosixshit]

Nanowhatawha? Gonna assume that's nerd talk for badass medicine stuff.

Okay, but could you like...survive jumping off a cliff or something?

[pain_train]

Super tiny robots that live in my blood and rebuild my bones and shit if I get hurt.

Now that my back is fixed? Probably. Well, once all my synthetics are back online too.

[onetwosixshit]

Oh, huh. Do they clone you if you get blown up too or something?

[Look, that's actually a very valid question from his neck of the woods.]

[pain_train]

Wait, is that a thing where you're from? Like... they can do clones where I'm from, but they like fucking dissolve after about a week, it's really awful. They just patch me up and send me back out is all.

[onetwosixshit]

[Oh wait, shit, backtrack backtrack.]

Uhh, I mean well- it's all a bunch of nerd stuff, I dunno all the details. But uh, yeah clones don't...do all that stuff you said where I'm from. Sounds grievously emotionally scarring.

[pain_train]

That sounds way better for the clones. So I'm glad it's not terrible where you're from.

Yeah. It's... gross. And awful.

[onetwosixshit]

Uhh yeah. Clones are uh, super super important. Super awesome too. Everyone wants to be a clone.

[There's a definite note of uncertainty that he's trying to poorly cover. He's never been real subtle.]

Sounds gross as hell.

[pain_train]

Oh, that's cool if everyone wants to be a clone. It must be fun! Are you one?

[onetwosixshit]

Uhh what? No, definitely not, definitely not a clone here. No cloneage, nothin' like that. One hundred percent normal.

[Is that a tinge of desperation in his voice? Smooth, real smooth.]

[pain_train]

[Squint.] Are you bullshitting me?

[onetwosixshit]

Why the shit would I do that? Nu-uh, totally truthful here. I am the most truthfullest guy out there.

[pain_train]

You're just sounding weird. That's all.

[onetwosixshit]

Nuh-uh, you're soundin' weird.

[pain_train]

You just sound guiltier when you say shit like that.

[onetwosixshit]

Uhhh no I don't.

[pain_train]

Yeah you do. Even dumber now.