driftfleet | 04

Entry tags:

04 - video

Who: Winn and you!
Broadcast: y!
Action: on the Tourist!
When: August 2nd

[ some of you may have noticed that winn has been uncharacteristically quiet for the past...16 days. he's not really sure how to address the elephant in the room - he knows these two weeks and change have been hard on the people he loves but for him it's like no time has passed and the dissonance is hard to bridge.

it's a good thing he has a not at all unhealthy coping mechanism set in place. ]

You know, if we're entertainment on a reality show, the least they can do is give us like a recap - you know your basic [ in a tv announcer impression ] here's what you missed on the Fleet - or - last week, on the young and the Drifting - [ he rubs the back of his head before shaking it ] Well, maybe talking about the 'least they can do' isn't such a great plan...first order of business - what'd I miss? Second order of business - if you or anyone you know has ever fallen into an unexplained sleep here or at any other kidnappy world - I'd appreciate it if you'd answer a couple questions, they're a text attachment at the bottom. Sorry if it's been done before, I'll gladly take a link to any previous research as well as fresh data. Third order of business -- hi. [ he gives the camera a little wave and a nervous chuckle ] Um. Yeah, I'm, I'm fine, I should've opened with that but if you know me the order isn't really gonna surprise you that much and if you don't you're probably really confused right now and looking for the off button - it's to your right, right on top, there you go.

That's it, I guess....good morning, Drifters - don't forget to drink your coffee! Winn out -

[ except he's not all the way out. hank and cisco each get the following message to their personal numbers ]

I need to discuss something in person. My place? [ he can't really leave kitty yet ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Kinda, yeah. Didn't really take advantage of it like I should've.

You will have to tell me more about your world, I think.

And we are all of us bad at that, I think - we only realise what we miss when we can no longer reach it.

Sure, what d'you wanna know?

[ he smiles a little ]

Yeah, the whole 'you don't know what you have til it's gone' routine, a cliche for a reason.

Anything. Everything. [ Maglor smiles at him shyly ] I love a good tale.

[ A soft amused huff ] Cliches are so for a reason, I find. And it makes them no less true. Perhaps we miss the things that are gone moreso because they are beyond our reach.

Where have I heard that before?

[ he returns the smile with a quirked brow; his curiosity knows no end. ]

Yeah, yeah with you on that, kinda hard to miss something when it's you know....right there.

I am sure I do not know. [ Maglor laughs softly ]

Mmhmm. I think the poignancy of it being out of reach colors it too, so that what was something unremarkable takes on a glow in the mind's eye.

I'll have to think of some that aren't so tech-heavy for you, unless you wanna spend the rest of our acquaintanceship hearing the set-up explanations of what everything is...oh! I can tell you about my boss, I have tons of uh -- colorful boss stories.

[ he's convinced ms. grant can hear him, even from all the way out here. ]

Yeah -- yeah that makes sense. If you've got it all the time you can always say 'I'll see it tomorrow', it's kinda like how people who live in touristy places never visit the touristic hotspots unless they've got out-of-town guests or something...

[ He laughs softly ]

If I were my brother or my father I would say, 'yes, definitely', to questions about what things are and how they work. Fortunately for you, as a bard I am more inclined to tales of people anyway, rather than things!

'Tourist'? I fear that word I do not have the context for - the implant suggests people who... visit?

Then for your own sake don't ask me tech questions you'll be here for the rest of your life - tech's my life.

[ he nods ]

Yeah - pretty much. It's people who - tour places that aren't where they live?

I will do my best to remember! [ Maglor smiles at him ]

You would get along well with my father. [ He says wistfully ] I wish he had been able to stay longer...

Ah... a fascinating concept, to travel simple for the sake of seeing a place...

Yeah? What's your dad like?

[ talking about families is usually so complicated - they're either dead or terrible - but the way maglor says it gives him hope it may not be a totally sucky topic for a change. ]

It's a huge industry in my world.

[ Well actually... ]

Father... [ Maglor hums a little softly ] Father is... was... a wildfire that burns without heed. He was brilliant and clever, quick to temper when provoked, almost immature in his jealousy at times, but if he loved you, he gave you all of himself without reservation. But there have been and likely never will be any so brilliant as he. I believe by your terms he would be a scientist - we would say, "loremaster" - but he was so much more than that. He was an inventor, a linguist, an explorer. He had a touch with gems and metal that I have seen none equal, and was equally at home in the forge as in the halls of learning. He was satisfied with nothing less than perfection - from himself, from his creations, and... also from us, his sons. I love him, and I hate him equally so, but I would follow him - I did follow him, into damnation.

[ damn. that hits really close to home, and the myriad of emotions battle it out on his face. brilliant, anger issues, immature, perfectionist, relentless emotional connection (he may not see his dad's love as love, but there's no doubt in his mind that to his father that's exactly what it is)...he may as well be describing his dad. what's worse, he may as well be describing winn.

follow him into damnation...his father had wanted him to, wanted them to be reunited be it on the run, in jail, or in death - it didn't matter so long as they were together because that is what love has been reduced to in his father's eyes. even now, he's terrified that one day his dad will get his wish, and they'll be united in madness. but it's not today. winn knows love, true and deep love, riddled with sacrifice, with endurance, even with separation. so long as he's capable of love, he's not his father. right? right. ]

I'm sorry.

[ is all he can think to say, all he can bring himself to say because the wave of emotion was so unexpected and so overwhelming, and he wants to cut and run, to bury himself in something silly and meaningless until these thoughts are once more pushed the darkest recesses of his mind. ]

Do not be. [ Maglor shakes his head, seeing how Winn is shaken ]

I should be the one apologising - I did not mean to open wounds. Father and I... we understand each other better, now we are older. And I do not... entirely blame him. Grief does terrible things to a person, a fact I only learnt later. Besides - I was an adult. I knew what I did was wrong, but I did it anyway. That sin is on my own hands, not his.

Forget it, I brought it up and you had no way of knowing.

[ the strain refuses to leave his face or voice, however, regardless of how true that statement is. he used to be so much better at letting these things slide, pretending it didn't bother him - but he's been talking about his father so much in the past few months the pain is just always right beneath the surface, ready to erupt. ]

I'm glad you managed to work things out with him. [ even if not fully. it's not something he'll ever be able to do with his dad. how do you reason with the insane? ]

Even so. I hurt you, even unknowing, and you do not deserve that, Winn.

[ He huffs a little softly ] Mm, that one was gift this strange place has given me, my father before the madness, my brother alive again. I hope... nay, for one so kind as you, I wish that one day you will find your own reconciliation, or at least, healing.

[ his father, before the madness. just the thought of it is too much to bear. he would never trust him, never believe in him, and seeing the way he used to be...it would hurt every day, because he'd long for him. before the madness, his dad was his best friend in life. ]

I'm glad you got it, but I'd rather have distance.

[ A soft, understanding huff ]

That bad, hm?

So, my boss, right? She's 5½", blond, thin - on first look you can think - totally normal human being with a handbag that costs as much as my entire apartment building. And then she opens her mouth and I swear without ever once raising her voice she made a man who is widely suspected of very substantial mob ties wet himself. In broad daylight in an office full of people.

[ winnanese for: worse. ]

[ Maglor blinks at the apparent subject change but accepts it easily ]

She sounds very formidable! Is she a good "boss"?

[ and winn's grateful. he doesn't want to open up the topic of his dad on a public network. or at all, but especially on a pubic network. and while sober. ]

She's....scary. And hurtful. [ and that's him being diplomatic because he's still convinced that somehow -- she's watching him ] But she's very good at her job?

Not a very good boss then.

[ Maglor says gravely ] But an efficient one, I suppose. You seem to have had some bad luck there, Winn.

It depends who you ask. I mean - it's complicated. I guess, she gets better the more you prove yourself.

[ she still scares him, but thinking about it - things have changed over the past year. she's still hurtful but, she doesn't seem to be as gigantic as she used to be, either. ]

Well - yeah. [ his dad was definitely the worst luck ever, as has his resulting childhood. but ms. grant? is it bad luck, or him taking a job that's really...beneath him? working with supergirl, with the deo started to make him understand he can be so much more than just an it guy, he doesn't have to settle for the first thing he gets out of some fear nothing else would ever follow if he rejects it.

it's less bad luck that stuck him there and more a lack of self esteem. ]

But I like my job. I met my best friend there and - the conditions aren't bad. As long as I get my work done, no one micro manages me, I can slip out, or play video games at my desk and there're no consequences. Ms. Grant has a whole stash of hurtful words on standby at all times but -- she's not a bad boss. [ in a strange way, he realizes, he misses her a little bit. that doesn't mean he wants her to show up don't you dare multiverse!!! he's fine missing her this tiny bit! ]

[ Maglor hums thoughtfully ]

She wishes you to prove yourself, eh? An interesting way of forcing the issue, if not the one I would use myself. But I am glad that you are, at the least, happy!

She pushes people...sometimes it's past their breaking point, so far, I've stayed in a comfortable middle. Though, she's started to notice I exist lately so - [ whoops face. he shakes his head. ]

But yeah, I'm happy. And my best friend actually likes her -