driftfleet | "My mind's like a deadly disease..."

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"My mind's like a deadly disease..."

Who: Wanda Maximoff
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Starstruck
When: Now

Broadcast - Text

[Wanda's presence, both in the Fleet's comms and aboard its vessels, has dwindled, slowly but surely, over the course of the past month. There was period of time, around the beginning of the month, when she couldn't be found or reached at all--save for by Misty, Vision and Pietro. More perceptive fleet members might recall that her disappearance occurred around the time that rumors of a dragon and its rider terrorizing Solrius were circulating about. However, she did pop back up a little while later, seemingly as though nothing was wrong. However, those that know her well may have picked up the subtle tells that there was something she was not saying. Something that she was trying to bury. And so, she became more and more scarce around the Fleet. At least, until now...]

What do you think happens after death?

[The message is short and simple. Anyone familiar with the festivities of the month of October, perhaps this is simply her way of trying to get into the spirit of things?]

Starstruck - Action

[Friends and shipmates of Wanda's, if they want to go looking for her, will find her either holed up in her bunkroom aboard the Starstruck, or in a corner of the ship's kitchen or shuttle bay at times she thinks no one would typically wander in. By the look on her face, it is clear something is troubling her.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She nods.]

In my bunkroom.

Heading over now. I'll be there soon. [She gives her a nod and a moment to stop her if that's not what she really wants. Otherwise, she'll turn the feed off and show up in person. She'll even knock as if she needs things like permissions and doors.]

Edited 2016-10-21 18:25 (UTC)

[No response from inside Wanda's bunkroom, but the door slides open seemingly on its own.]

[The light in the room has been dimmed significantly. Wanda sits on her bed. Her head turns to offer Kitty a small, weak smile in greeting. She also scooches over slightly to give her room to sit down on the bed, as well. Wanda, herself, does not look all that well. It's rather clear she has not had a peaceful night's sleep in a while. Additionally, she seems to be carrying around that kind of fatigue that plagues individuals when they've had something pressing on their mind for too long.]

Hey. [She says it somewhat quietly as if breaking the silence is too much for the somber room she's entering. She looks over Wanda and wonders how much is the process of coming back and how much is the mental toll that she's seeing.

She takes a place on the bed.] So, big stuff.

[In short, most of what Kitty's seeing is the mental toll of Wanda trying to process, accept, and move-on from the chain of events stretching from her death to resurrection to now.]

[Kitty's "big stuff" comment gets a hollow chuckle out of Wanda. There's little humor or light to her right now.]

That would be putting it mildly.

Well, that's my gift. How are you doing? Bonus points for not answering with, "I've been better."

[Another chuckle out of Wanda, but this one sounds less hollow. There's more life and light to it.]

All things considered, I suppose I could be doing a lot worse.

[Was- was that a joke? Wanda's not even sure. Kind of surprising herself that she's still able to find humor in this moment, but perhaps that was Kitty's influence?]

[Sometimes finding that humor is the only thing that gets you to the next moment especially when things are as bleak as they were back in Kitty's world. If it's her influence she's proud of it.]

So, what happened? [Other than dead and now not dead even if those are pretty good highlights.]

[Wanda takes a deep breath. She's told the story of what happened to her Pietro a few times now, but it never really got all that easier.]

In the last system, there were reports of a... dragon. A monster that was terrorizing some local villages. Pietro and I thought we could go and help those people. We did not exactly intend to engage the beast at that time. We only wanted to check it out for ourselves, try to determine how might it be best to defeat it, then report back to everyone.

Instead, the dragon found us. It seemed to know we were there looking for it. The creature... had a partner. A rider who looked no taller than a teenager, but...

[Wanda's eyes narrow.]

His face... it was not right. He had no mouth... and just black pits for eyes.

[Clearly, recollecting the images of that dragon's rider still deeply bothered her. A slight shiver runs down her spine.]

Pietro and I got separated by the pair. As we were trying to join back up and make our escape, Pietro... the dragon and its rider went right for him. I did not want to lose him again. I couldn't. I took my focus off the dragon. The only thing I could think to do was protect my brother at all costs.

I managed to save him, but... it cost me my own life in return.

[At that, Wanda pops the top two buttons of her jacket, and stretches the collar of it down and away. It's enough for Kitty to see the beginnings of a grisly looking scar that starts just a few inches below her left collarbone.]

The next thing I remember... [Wanda's eyes narrow again.] Pain. A lot of pain. Before that, there was nothing. Maybe a faint sensation of warmth, but it's harder now for me to recall it all exactly. But the pain... that I remember. I was breathing again. I was alive, but it meant I could feel every bit of that fatal blow.

[As Wanda appears to be wrapping up her account, her eyes drift downwards to the floor. She lets out a deep sigh afterwards. Whatever light and humor had been momentarily restored to her had clearly disappeared now.]

[There's a sense of guilt that sets in early in the story. She feels like she should have been there. Should have helped them. The fact that they didn't ask for her help and she didn't know they were going or what kind of trouble they were in doesn't seem to remove the guilt. She knows they aren't X-Men or even mutants, but there is an underlying innate sense of "team" which is as close to meaning "family" as anything that she can't erase.

By the time she sees the scar her thoughts aren't on what she did or failed to do but only on Wanda and what she went through. She knows saving Pietro was the most important thing to her. She's not surprised she'd do it at her own sacrifice even if it wasn't intended. The fact that he's alive must help with the rest at least.]

Does it still hurt?

[Wanda shakes her head. The pain had been immense when she was brought back, but, true to her re-animator's word, Wanda had been patched up quickly enough. Still though, it didn't make the memory of its intensity any less present in Wanda's mind.]

[She studies Kitty's face for a moment. Wanda'd been watching her reactions through the entire retelling of what had happened. It didn't take mind reading powers for Wanda to know what was going through Kitty's mind.]

You have nothing to feel guilty over. I was the one that pushed Pietro to go with me. I was the one who decided we did not need anyone else's help. The blame for what happened to me is my own.

You know you're part of a team now, right? [Just not the one Kitty likes to imagine.] I'm sure the Avengers would have been there for you. And I would have. [Though she barely registered the dragon problem was happening at the time—too wrapped up in other things as she was.]

[Wanda winces at Kitty's words. She'd touched on something that had swirled around in Wanda's head many times already as she thought back on what had happened. She should have known better. She tried telling herself that she didn't want anyone getting hurt, but that wasn't quite it. No, it was more accurate to say she'd been too prideful of her and her brother's abilities, thinking they were too superior on their own to require the aid of others. Wanda's gaze shifts down and away. She doesn't quite know what to say. Kitty was right. Wanda had failed to be part of a team.]

Hey, I didn't mean it as something for you to feel bad about. [Nothing to be done about it now and Wanda was the one who suffered for the choice.] I'm just letting you know people would stand with you in case it doesn't feel that way.

[Wanda's silent for a moment longer. Not moving, not looking away from the spot on the wall she started staring a hole into after Kitty's reminder that, just because they were in the Fleet, it didn't mean she wasn't part of a team. Perhaps that was it then... being part of a team...]

I'm so selfish...

[Her voice is a whisper, barely a murmur.]

Yeah, you died trying to help people. Super selfish. Come on... [She reaches out to put a hand on her shoulder.]

[Wanda shakes her head. She feels Kitty's hand on her shoulder, but it only causes her to look away, close her eyes, try to keep back any more tears. She'd shed more than enough, and it honestly the act just felt painful to her now.]

It was my selfish that got us in that mess in the first place. I wanted to go an adventure. I wanted it to just be Pietro and I. I wanted to be the one to help those people. In saving his life, I was only thinking of the pain I felt when I lost him back home. I didn't want to go through it again.

What is all that if not selfishness?

[Kitty takes a deep breath, looking thoughtful as she takes that in.] I think you'll find a little selfishness in just about any selfless looking deed. Makes us human and I use the term loosely. [Since she doesn't usually use it for herself but there's no good replacement. Human-centric language!]

Something to learn from maybe. Not something to beat yourself up about. How's Pietro handling it?

[Wanda doesn't give any kind of response to Kitty's words. At least, not until she asks about Pietro. That gets a kind of sad, crooked smile from Wanda.]

About as well as you can imagine he would.

I imagine you'll both be very protective of each other for awhile. Or forever, but you know, extra right now.

For the longest time, we were all each other had... That kind of feeling makes it hard to be anything but protective of each other.

I can understand that. [Piotr wasn't all she had. She had her whole team, but they were special to each other and when he was hurt it was hard and not just because it turned out to be the beginning of the end.]

At least in my own way. Always good to expand that circle though.

[Wanda doesn't respond. It's not that she disagrees with Kitty at all. She's just hit the nail on the head again -- Wanda had failed to think of others. Failed to consider that she may have already expanded her circle of people she feels the desire to protect. Wanda's gaze drifts down to the floor. Her face an expressionless mask.]

[Suddenly, almost out of nowhere, Wanda asks a question, returning to a topic that had long sat dormant, unpursued.]

The Wanda you knew from your home, your time... she's dead. Isn't she?

[Not exactly the question she expected, but she rolls with it.]

Since before I joined the team. I never actually met her. Kurt was on the team with her though. [And still this Wanda with her non-mutant history is important to her. Some shifted version of a person that was important to everyone who had been important to her back then.]

[Wanda sits on this information for a moment. Again, the expression on her face giving nothing away as what she's thinking.]

Someone asked me... by being brought back, did I know if I had died back home? The idea being that my being brought back here meant another version of me elsewhere died in exchange...

[As grim as pondering over this had made Wanda felt, she still didn't want to out Alphonse as the one who accidentally planted this fear in her mind.]

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