driftfleet | 05

Entry tags:

05 - video

Who: Winn and you
Broadcast: yes!
Action: Tourist!
When: now?

[ today, winn is coming to you live from the tourist's cargo hold. clearing his throat, he offers the camera a little smile ]

Sup, Fleeters, Winn Schott here, hope space is treating you well today. I got three things to run by you today, I'll try to be quick.

So one, I got - [ he moves the camera away from his face to focus on a box of 10 bears, on the large side. they have been dyed, and colorful patches have been sewn decoratively all over their torsos and arms. when he got them, they were covered by straightjackets, so this is his fix ] these. If anyone wants one, you're welcome to them. [ unless you're a tourist crew member. they will have magically run out if one of you tries to get one. he doesn't care if you can see them, they're not staying on this goddamn ship, ok. ] If any are left over I'm gonna leave them in Discovery One on the Iskaulit for public use in case anyone turns tiny.

[ he turns the camera back to him ]

Two - for those of you who don't know, Cisco and I have been running lectures, concerts, and whatever else people have been willing to volunteer their time for on the Iskaulit, and we're running low now. If you've lectured before and you wanna go again - you're more than welcome to, if you're a newcomer - likewise. Just drop me or Cisco a line with your name, topic, title if you have one, and availability if you actually have a schedule to keep - and we'll add you to the roster.

Three - Hank - don't let it be said I don't pay my debts.

[ turning on the karaoke machine he built with cisco, he proceeds to offer the network his rendition of the dire strait's walk of life. once he's done singing, a little flushed and embarrassed because last time he did this it was with cisco this is so much more terrifying on his own!! he gives the camera a little nod and signs off. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh no, how ever will I manage.

[ driest ever. ]

I don't know, but I wish you the very best of luck in your endeavors.

I don't need luck, I've got brains and a dashing good looks.

[ overcompensating for how small those bears make him feel? him? nah, why would he do a thing like that! ]

And sexiness to spare. [Kiss!] And talent. [Kiss!] And humility. [Kiss!]

[ with every kiss, his smile grows, until it seems like his face might split in half. ]

Mmhm, I'm a catch.

I'm very glad I'm good at catching.

Very good, A+ catching, will not tell my friends.

[That gets a hearty laugh.] I can't tell if that's just so I keep only you to myself or if it went to a dirty place, but I like it either way.

It's a mystery [ wiggling his eyebrows at her ] you will never know.

I could tickle it out of you.

Hey stop stealing my moves - get your own.

I overheard you protecting one of my moves with Raven.

You listen in on my calls?

[ more amused than anything, at the moment. ]

[Blushing slightly.] I don't. I want to. But I don't. But there is sometimes a very tiny bit of glancing to see who is chiming in. [Your girlfriend is a network stalker! She really does stalk you less because it feels wrong.]

[ he chuckles and boops her nose. ]

So nosy - [ he tries to never say anything serious on the network so he's not bothered by the idea of being listened to as much - it's a risk in open networks. but something deep inside him is shifting uncomfortably, wondering why she wants to. ]

I'm not gonna give away your move. [ stroking her cheek lightly. the song was a little painfully on the nose, but he loved that she sang it for him. it was a special moment, one he'll always treasure. ]

[She smiles at him. And while she's unaware of that uncomfortable shifting she does want to explain it a little better.] I do like watching out for you and others, but mostly it's just a bad habit I picked up in the prison. Hard to break sometimes. I was pretty distrustful when I arrived there. Shocking, right? I wanted to know everything I could about the place and the people. Even used to hack into the private feeds sometimes. And then...I guess it also helped me feel less alone too. Made it harder to break. And then I came here and all new feelings of being unsettled.

Kitty, [ he brushes back his hair, and this is where his discomfort really lies. ] I know trust is hard for you, I get it. It took me a while to see the good in people again too, and I've been through much less. But, I dunno I just. I guess I'm hoping that someday, you'll trust that if I have a conversation you need to know about, I'll tell you.

[ they've been together an intense six months, but it's only been six months. he wants to have earned her trust already, but he gets why he can't, not completely. it's not like his behavior over these six months have been flawless, either, but he's only human. but there is this undercurrent of discomfort, concern that she'll never really trust him. ]

No, I do. [She moves in to hug him tightly.] I trust you. It wasn't like that. [The slip was more habit than thought and only the most cursory kind. She only paused because it was Raven and because she mentioned that song. It made her smile and she moved on. But as much as she wants him to feel trusted she does still have some trouble with it. He holds so much back and she doesn't think it's about her or anything bad. It's just hard to break through sometimes.

But it's not all him either. She was murdered by the person she loved and trusted most in the world. It makes it hard not to hold back a little.]

[ he returns the hug, stroking her hair soothingly. he's not angry, just...a little dejected. he keeps his network calls as clean as possible, trying never to reveal anything significant in there precisely because anyone could be listening. he never thought he'd be glad for the habit because of kitty. not that he's keeping any particular secret from her at the moment, but he does have different sharing comfort levels for different people. he wouldn't want her peeking in on his talks with cisco, hank, or jim not because he doesn't want to ever tell her these things - but because he does want to tell her someday, but do it himself. ]

Do you still hack into private messages? [ as a hacker himself, he may not really have a right to talk, but he never hacked individuals just to satisfy his curiosity, it was always to fulfill some sort of purpose.

sometimes that purpose is taking someone down. but from his pov, those people had it coming. ]

[She hasn't ever viewed a full or significant part of a conversation of his with anyone. No more than a glance.] Not successfully. That was more about seeing how much the augments actually matter here. The answer is they matter more than I'm comfortable with.

[ he doesn't really know how much she looks at, or how long she's been doing it. it feels very uncomfortable, knowing someone he trusts and shares so much with has been checking up on him. ]

Yeah, I feel that.

[ hacking these encryptions should have taken him minutes. has he mentioned lately how much he hates the augments? ]

Right? [She tucks in against him. Softer, muffled against his skin.] I do trust you.

[ he kisses the top of her head and holds her close. ]

I really want you to.

[ but he knows that won't be an easy feat. he supposes he could start by pointing out what really upset him about these bears. it wasn't their choice of wardrobe, even though he knows that's what he was expected to react to. ]

Come on, let's go back to my room. [ well he's not gonna do it in the middle of the cargo hold where anyone can listen in, gosh, he may be willing to tell kitty but that's it. ]

[His reply stings. It sounds like he's saying "but you don't" and it stings more because there is some thread of truth to that. Could she stand in front of him, unphased if he was crazed and holding a weapon to her, similar to her fatal mistake with Piotr? No. But does she respect his privacy? Yes. Maybe not perfectly, but harmlessly.

She nods at his suggestion and pulls back to make the walking part easier. Her hand still finds his.]

Yeah, sure.

[ he wouldn't want her to. in that scenario, he would want her to trust the man he was before losing his mind, and stop him, because that man would rather die than become a monster.

he does feel like she doesn't trust him, though. not in the stand-in-front-of-him-when-he's-trying-to-kill-people way, but in a more subtle, painful way. in that way that always seems upset when he chooses to keep something to himself. they're little pins to his heart, that add up to a painful stab over time. he knows he's got issues, he's not great at sharing especially since he feels like he has no right to in the face of everything she and the rest of his friends have been through. he just wishes he could somehow make it clear that he's not hiding anything that would hurt her, only the things that hurt him.

he walks quietly until they're back in his room, where he sits on the bed and brushes back his hair again, trying to figure out what to say and how to speak. he decides to just come out with it, because there will never be a good segue for this. ]

My father was a toymaker. Toyman, that's his villain name, yeah, he's got one of those. He uses different toys to do his killing, but he has a thing for bears. He rigs them with bombs. Ten, that's the number he had set up when he tried to make me kill his boss. The straightjackets are almost hilariously over the top, it's the 10 bears I hate getting. Feels like he's watching. [ and just admitting that thought is enough to have his hair stand on end.

happy, atroma? you got your reaction. ]

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