driftfleet | Open | A Monthly Starstruck Mingle!!

It would be convenient. [ if a little troublesome, given the problem posed by zero matter. not much wiggle room to be missing days. even now, there's a pedal note of concern for all the things not yet accomplished back home. reclaiming jason wilkes; stopping whitney frost; solving a problem like dottie underwood. ] But I confess I'm not quite ready to go back. Not yet.

[ too many other promises to keep -- and not all of them to steve rogers. ]

Can't blame you for that. You especially—this is an opportunity you're not about to get again.

[Chuckling, she levels Peggy with a considering look.]

Besides, you have a lot going on here.

[ choosing to be a little obtuse, she most affectionately pats the kitchen counter -- implying, perhaps, a fondness for the whole damn ship. ]

I certainly didn't anticipate falling into a Captain's role. But I don't begrudge it, either. [ she gets along well with her crew, for one. and has a marvelous first mate in ahsoka. the only real troublemaker has been max. ] Can't much begrudge all I've learned, either. Science. Society. It'll make leaps and bounds.

[ ... ] Some of these passengers are so clever. Have you met a young man named Cisco Ramon? Utterly too talkative for his own good, and yet remarkable. I had him knock together a version of that drugged lipstick I mentioned before. He made good on the request. And then some.

We've met. He struck me as a helper.

[Natasha's brows go up at that, though, and she leans in. It's intentional, the flagging her willingness to change the subject. Her interest itself isn't feigned, though.]

When you say and then some, you mean...?

Two brands, so to speak. [ peggy raises two fingers. ] One a bit more of a knock-out than the other. Because, as he helpfully reminded me, not everyone we come across in the fleet can be done in by the usual dose.

And he wants to be sure you're prepared either way? [Very much a helper. Though it does raise some more questions and concerns.] And it still doesn't knock you out too wearing it?

Not if you're very careful -- and if you only apply it shortly before intending to use it. It's not really an all-day kind of colour. [ an awkward laugh. ] But I haven't tested the new formula. The opportunity hasn't quite -- presented itself.

Seems like you have a few to choose from, depending on your standards. Though Steve might get jealous if you start kissing random super soldiers.

I'm certain the circumstances can be adequately simulated, [ peggy offered with a terse clearing of her throat. although: ] I'm still trying to decide how to best ask Steve to be a test subject. I might end up plying him with coffee all the same.

[ speaking of! she turns around and distributes the hot water between a single mug and the french press. the mug gets a teabag and the french press has something which roughly resembles coffee. ]

If it works, it'll be something of a boon. Can't say there are many opportunities to square off with powered people back in '47.

No. Not nearly as many of them back then.

[A pause as Natasha accepts her coffee, giving it a cursory look over before apparently deciding it's acceptable and holding it loosely in both hands.

She doesn't even look for cream or sugar.]

Don't suppose that Cisco made you more than one tube. I might be tempted to steal an extra.

Once it's proven effective, I'm certain he wouldn't mind a second order. [ at the very least, the young man seems rather obliging on that front. ] I keep thinking about how I wished I'd had it a few months back -- [ when the winter soldier got atroma-jacked. ] Not that it's at all effective when you don't have the element of surprise on your side.

[Natasha has no problem following the other woman's train of thought. It's easy to look back on old conflicts and think about how you'd have handled them differently now, if you knew more, if you had more resources.

It's not a very productive train of thought, but easy to get drawn into.]

An element of surprise, and someone willing to let you get close. If you have those, then it'd be a useful tool. [And women like them knew how to get both of those things. That was the daily grind as a female spy.]

If you were facing down with the Winter Soldier, I wouldn't count on either.

-- Of course. Stands to reason. And yet I find myself rethinking the barely fifteen minutes more often than is likely healthy.

[ but it's clear that her desire to rebuild her arsenal is tied to a festering concern over how easily she'd been overpowered. overpowered is not a familiar feeling to peggy carter. worse, still, it had happened against a friend -- or a man who should be a friend, and to whom she'd made a promise to do everything in her power to stop.

but in the moment, she'd shot wide. purposefully wide. her bullets would never have stopped him -- she knows it. but now she wishes she would have had the bollocks to try. ]

I know it doesn't do much good to say, but don't. That kind of thinking just slows you down. Makes you second guess.

[Natasha isn't exactly comfortable with comfort. Not comfortable drawing attention to someone else's vulnerability.

But this is something she knows about.]

You did the best you could in the moment. If it happens again, you'll do the best you can again.

[ that was just it, of course: she didn't do her best. and she knew it. for all she preached to her colleagues at the ssr about not letting emotions cloud your choices, she'd allowed herself to be so simply swayed.

on days when she feels particularly in denial, peggy tells herself she shot wide because this place made her rusty. ]

Heaven help us should it happen again. [ a frown. ] Heaven help him.

[Natasha's expression is smooth. For all their sakes, she hopes it doesn't come to that.]

He has enough on his plate without that.

A little tough to fit anything else on a plate well-heaped with self-loathing. [ ahem. with her tea steeped, she reaches for her mug and takes a seat across from natasha.

but in the end, who are any of them to judge? they all have crosses to bear. ]

[Natasha takes a drink of her coffee, letting that sit for a moment. She bites back her first response—there's always room for more self-loathing.]

Imagine that would just end up with more of the same.

Edited 2016-11-10 23:43 (UTC)

[ the ensuing snort is likely wry, but muddied. ]

Yes, well. There's something to be said about the lack of variation in that particular diet.

Why do I get the feeling that you and Barnes aren't on the best terms right now?

[Equally wry.]

Because we're not. [ there isn't much use in lying about it. peggy knows she could -- and although she knows natasha would guess it was a lie, she's at least convinced it wouldn't look or sound like one.

but it also isn't exactly a problem she can comfortably bring to anyone else. ] Haven't been, really, since it all went down. [ ... ] And now he's awake again.

He is. I talked to him a little.

[Mostly making plans to spar, which Natasha counts as information not productive to this particular conversation.]

Very little. He's not exactly verbose.

[ another low chuckle. bit of an understatement, there, natasha. ]

I tried to arrange a face-to-face, so to speak. [ she points at the other woman's coffee, indicating perhaps the level of casual meeting she'd suggested. ] It took off like a lead balloon.

[ so, poorly. ]

[Natasha winces a little, a silent gesture of understanding before she chooses her words.]

Is he not a tea drinker either?

I offered to do coffee. [ but he'd deferred. instead of taking hold of the brutally honest offer to spend time together, he'd suggested some hazy future possibility. a brush-off, it seems. and a further implication of how much he simply doesn't care, despite so much evidence to the contrary.

a bit defensive, she twists it into a joke: ] The offer mustn't have been enticing enough. Just as well. I'd have a helluva time trying not to wince after every mouthful.

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