[Closed]

[exothermia]

Who: Erik, Charles and Raven
Broadcast: N/A
Action: a birthday on the Iskaulit
When: November 3rd

It was some time in the early morning, between fits of sleep, that Erik realised he was fifty-three. He had known it was coming for days, in the back of his mind, but it strikes him suddenly when he wakes from another unremembered dream and knows it must be nearly morning. The knowledge sinks into him like a stone, having broken the surface just as suddenly. It doesn't take long for the grief and loneliness to seize his heart again, always waiting for a moment to strike. He curls up under his blanket in the dark and wills himself to be silent, unseen.

His last birthday had been a happier affair. They were never grand or exuberant, but he didn't need or want them to be. Having a family to celebrate with was gift enough to Erik's mind. He vividly remembers the paper party hats Nina had made for the three of them to wear, the breakfast Magda had served up before he had to go to work. It was shocking to think he'd almost become used to it, after those initial few years where he hadn't been the most receptive to Magda's insistence that they do something. Even just a dinner.

Now he was to have his birthday in outer space, far from Earth and where his family lay beneath it. It was hardly worth acknowledging... just like all the years before they'd entered his life. His broken heart begs to differ, though, so he has to give it its due.

After a while, he wipes his face and gets up. Charles wants to spend time with him today, so he sets about having an early shower and shave (down to faint stubble, at the least). Another couple of hours listening to the terrible music the communicators have on offer, in the company of his fluff slug, was enough to settle his turbulent feelings into something manageable.

By the time Charles knocks on his door and they head to the Iskaulit, he's put himself back together.

Comments

[exothermia]

[Erik nods in agreement. Maybe he should write a guide for some of that infernal oven's more common quirks. Still, it had been a while since he really used it.]

I don't know how often it gets used, honestly.

[axiomed]

Hmm. Probably not as much. Certainly more now that you're on board.

[exothermia]

[He shifts a bit, drawing his gaze down to the cake as he pushes his fork into it again.]

Not that much anymore. The only time I've used it recently was to make challah last month. [The only time since coming back, at least.]

[axiomed]

Still.

[ He doesn't pay much attention to the oven though, so he shrugs nonchalantly. ]

Perhaps the kitchen can be upgraded.

[exothermia]

[Erik shakes his head.]

It has the highest upgrade level available. I looked it up once, years ago. [Months ago.] Other than making changes ourselves, there's no more to be gotten from the upgrade system.

[axiomed]

Then maybe we could consider making some. I'm sure Winter wouldn't mind.

[exothermia]

No, I don't see that he would. I'm not certain what kind of changes you're thinking of, though.

[axiomed]

I'll let you know if I come up with something.

[ There's plenty of scrap and machinery down below. Perhaps it could be repurposed. ]

[exothermia]

[He lets his thoughts drift for a moment. The foremost thing would be finding some way to fix the eccentricities of the oven, but short of pulling the whole thing apart and reassembling it he's not certain how to do that. Having a working thermometre would help, to gauge the temperature properly. And a timer... the oven doesn't have one, so he often relies on his communicator to guess the minutes.

He picks idly at the last of the cake, trying to remember what else was off about the kitchen the last time he'd used it.]

[axiomed]

[ Charles watches as thoughts drift in and out of Erik's head before speaking. ]

The garden comes first for now.

[exothermia]

[Blinking, he returns his attention to Charles.]

Yes, of course. Though I think we've gotten the base of it pretty well established.

[The three planters, the soil, and the plants to go in them.]

[axiomed]

I'm sure it'll look wonderful once it's done.

[exothermia]

I hope so. If the lights work out... [And they should, he was thorough in checking he had the right kind of lamps, and fixing them in the best places for it.] ...then they should at least grow. Gardens are never really 'finished', after all.

[axiomed]

You know what I mean.

[ He glances at the Iskaulit. ] I come here very often. I wonder how it came into place.

[exothermia]

[Erik tilts his head, looking up at the greenery himself.] Maybe for similar reasons. People wanted something to grow here, something less artificial. So they decided to do something about it. I've seen people tending the gardens, when I've visited before.

[axiomed]

It's relaxing.

[ He shrugs his shoulders. ] We all look for bright spots.

[exothermia]

Mmm. [He sets his empty plate down, resting his hands in his lap.] I'm more at ease in metal spaces than most, but even I need to be around nature sometimes.

[It's something he'd never thought of, until he'd spent long periods of time without. Even the camps, horrible as they had been, hadn't cut him off from the living world. And living so near the woods in Poland, even the gardens at the Institute, had soothed his heart when he needed it most.]

[axiomed]

You've always seemed to enjoy it.

[exothermia]

[A bit dry.]

I didn't when I was a teenager.

[axiomed]

Well, we all struggled with such things when we were teenagers.

[ Granted, Erik had other things on his mind. ]

[exothermia]

I'm sure some don't. You have plenty of students who love being outdoors.

[axiomed]

Well, yes. But I meant sometimes we don't know what we care about until much later. Epiphanies aren't easy to reach when you're younger.

[exothermia]

[He stares at Charles for a moment, before he huffs softly. That's a truth they both know.] Try telling a child that, though.

[axiomed]

I try not to. I know lost causes when I see them. Besides, it's better for them to reach that conclusion for themselves.

[exothermia]

Yes. It will take them much longer than they realise.

[As it had for him. Even then, it kept changing through the years, and even now stands uncertain in the winds of fate.]