perks and rec: the video experience

[stopbleeding]

Who: Chopper and Zoro
Broadcast: fleetwide
Action: UH accendo probably
When: 2/28

[Woah, hi Drift Fleet, it’s the Chopper and Zoro show. Meaning, hi, it’s Chopper sitting on Zoro’s shoulder. They’re on some moon somewhere, who cares. That’s not the point. The point is:]

Oi. This is a public servant announcement.

Service, service! You mean service, Zoro.

Huh? Oh. Yeah. Right. Anyway, listen up! Chopper and I have been testing something out. Chopper, tell them.

Huh? Me? [He looks briefly caught off guard with that before clinging to Zoro’s face in a way that lets him lean forward a bit more.] We found out that you can run faster if you don’t wear any underwear!

[Zoro nods (after extracting Chopper off his face).] Yeah. We did tests. I ran faster without it.

By half a second!

It’s a big improvement. [it’s really not.]

Now everyone can run faster, too! Just forget about your underwear and the half seconds will add up! This could save lives!!

[Zoro nods solemnly, then goes to turn off the feed before remembering something.]

Oh. Right. Old man, Shitty Sculptor. Other people. I’m leaving the ship. And everyone else-[He points at the screen for a long moment, tension rising. Then he points to Chopper.]-he’s a reindeer.

[DON’T FORGET IT, ASSHOLES. Chopper smiles and nods, waving at the screen. Bye, nerds. Peace out.]

ooc: Green is Zoro, pink is Choppa

Comments

[save_the_souls]

It's not, don't worry. You just have to fill out a ship transfer form. It'd go through the next time there's a Shuffle.

[But oh, they're talking about his medical skills. He wrings his hands and turns to look at the...reindeer? Which yeah, not surprised he can't license him.]

Ah- yes, Dr. Chopper. I'm still a student, or...was a student in the last place I was at. But then when I got brought here, they just...assigned me to the medical lab on my own.

[stopbleeding]

[Zoro nods.] Alright, I'll do that then. [Can you even read the form, Zoro.

Anyway, he's contemplating Allen's story.] A student, huh?

[He glances to Chopper again.] If they gave him his own lab does that mean he's good?

[tsundeere]

You got your own medical lab even if you're not a real doctor?! That's so cooooooool!

[He's practically got sparkles in his eyes. When Zoro asks the question, he nods a few times.]

Yeah! Or, well, maybe! He could be a prodigy! Maybe there's countless files of medical knowledge hidden in his brain that he just has to unlock!

[But then he pauses, looking more curious and less excited.]

...But when I came to, I suddenly understood how to work weird technology I've never seen before! It wouldn't be a stretch to say they could make just anyone know anything.

[save_the_souls]

[Allen meanwhile frowns slightly at that. He knows he's not a prodigy, even if Chopper's excitement at him is nice to see. But he damn well knew he wasn't a data storage unit either. So Allen shakes his head]

Not really. The medical information they upload into the augment is basic, it's practically first aid level. It also does nothing regarding procedural memory and motor skills.

[He gives a little sigh. He might as well say the truth]

I'm...not a prodigy, not by any means. And I'm fairly certain they hand out positions to anyone. I don't think Atroma cares if we're qualified or not.

But I will say I've been studying and helping in clinics for years, and I'm a hard worker. There's barely any healers and you're the first actual doctor we've had in the fleet. So...yes, I do what I can to help out, even if I don't have a license. I doubt there is a way to get licensed out here anyway. [Or that they really care]

[stopbleeding]

You could've just said you were good.

[tsundeere]

[DON'T BE RUDE ZORO. Chopper, at least, seems interested for all of this. He's got that hoof on his cheek, nodding thoughtfully after each sentence. After Zoro speaks, he just smiles, perking up.]

I believe in you, Allen! Anyone can help if they put their heart into it. I'll do what I can to help you with any questions you might have!

1/2

[save_the_souls]

[He gives an annoyed noise and rolls his eyes at Zoro. SO RUDE. Especially since he's sure this dude would be the first one calling him a scam-artist if he just said he was good.]

Oh yes. Because you'd take my word for it I'm sure.

[...Though okay he is a scam-artist, that much is true. JUST NOT WHEN IT COMES TO MEDICINE!!]

[save_the_souls]

[But still, he then looks at Chopper and smiles. He's relieved, half expecting to be told not to ever do stuff again. Chopper you a good dude]

Ah, thank you, Dr. Chopper! I know I still have a lot to learn, so I'd really be grateful for a chance to ask questions!

[stopbleeding]

[look at that fucking shoujo look he's giving chopper. That's just freaky.]

Oi, how come he gets the nice guy treatment?

[he hasn't even done anything to you bro give him the shoujo eyes too]

[tsundeere]

Heheheee, Dr. Chopper...

[Sorry, he's going to just be happily wiggling on Zoro's shoulders, muttering about how he's not happy to hear it used so politely, shut up!]

[save_the_souls]

[Wow that's the first time someone's ever call him out on that, so he'll blink!]

Ah...I'm sorry, did you want "nice guy treatment" too, Mr. Zoro?

[And wow that is kinda ridiculously cute Chopper wth]

[stopbleeding]

What the hell?! Don't make it sound like you can just turn it on and off!

[sorry, chopper, he's jerking forward a bit with his shouting.]

[tsundeere]

Whoa!

[It was cute until that jerk forward, and now his wiggling and the lack of balance causes him to lose grip (with his hooves, god) and topple over backwards off of Zoro's shoulder.]

[stopbleeding]

[Zoro catches him immediately, half-cradling him as he brings him back to the front.]

Watch yourself, Chopper. You need to be careful.

[His voice is surprisingly gentle as he sets his little homie back on his shoulder. Then it's back to glowering at Allen. Just like that.]

[save_the_souls]

[He was starting to snicker at Zoro's reaction but then Chopper toppled over. Welp at least Zoro caught him]

Oh- sorry Dr. Chopper! You okay?

[tsundeere]

Woops... Sorry, sorry!

[One sorry to each of them. He rubs the back of his head, holding onto Zoro more sturdily as he laughs.]

I'm okay! But you two should try to get along better, if you're friends!

[stopbleeding]

[Zoro waves a hand in front of his face, completely deadpan.]

We're not friends.

[save_the_souls]

[RUDE!! This guy kind of reminds him of Kanda, so he can't help but be a bit of a teasing brat]

Hey, Zoro! You can't expect me to give you "nice guy treatment" but then say things like that!

[tsundeere]

He's right, Zoro! Why can't you be friends?!

[BE FRIENDS GET ALONG...]

[stopbleeding]

[why are you ganging up on him chopper!!]

Oi, oi! Don't join in!

[Pointing back at the camera, now.]

And you. You were supposed to agree with me. [Tch. He scowls.] We just met. We can't be friends.

[save_the_souls]

[Oh he doesn't even try to hide his grin]

But we've been on the same ship for a week! That's hardly "just met", Zoro!

When do you consider it alright to be someone's friend?

[tsundeere]

I'm going to join in if you're avoiding making friends!!

[HE WAS SO PROUD YOU HAD TWO, AND THEN...]

Listen to Allen!

[stopbleeding]

[Just... shoving Chopper's face away. Shhhh. Shhhh.]

I like you. Let's leave it at that. Friend isn't a word I use lightly.

[save_the_souls]

[Ah. He sees. His urge to tease pass, he'll ease into a shoujo nicer smile at Zoro]

I see. I can understand that.

Then...I'll just hope that maybe one day you'll consider me a friend.

[tsundeere]

[Oh... Yes. He supports this. He keeps quiet on this one, looking at Zoro's face very curiously. Is he reacting?? Huh? Huh? Is this a truce?]