perks and rec: the video experience

[stopbleeding]

Who: Chopper and Zoro
Broadcast: fleetwide
Action: UH accendo probably
When: 2/28

[Woah, hi Drift Fleet, it’s the Chopper and Zoro show. Meaning, hi, it’s Chopper sitting on Zoro’s shoulder. They’re on some moon somewhere, who cares. That’s not the point. The point is:]

Oi. This is a public servant announcement.

Service, service! You mean service, Zoro.

Huh? Oh. Yeah. Right. Anyway, listen up! Chopper and I have been testing something out. Chopper, tell them.

Huh? Me? [He looks briefly caught off guard with that before clinging to Zoro’s face in a way that lets him lean forward a bit more.] We found out that you can run faster if you don’t wear any underwear!

[Zoro nods (after extracting Chopper off his face).] Yeah. We did tests. I ran faster without it.

By half a second!

It’s a big improvement. [it’s really not.]

Now everyone can run faster, too! Just forget about your underwear and the half seconds will add up! This could save lives!!

[Zoro nods solemnly, then goes to turn off the feed before remembering something.]

Oh. Right. Old man, Shitty Sculptor. Other people. I’m leaving the ship. And everyone else-[He points at the screen for a long moment, tension rising. Then he points to Chopper.]-he’s a reindeer.

[DON’T FORGET IT, ASSHOLES. Chopper smiles and nods, waving at the screen. Bye, nerds. Peace out.]

ooc: Green is Zoro, pink is Choppa

Comments

Video

[save_the_souls]

[This...has to be the stupidest network post he's ever watched. What even- he can't even bring himself to address the whole bit about the underwear. HE IS TOO VICTORIAN FOR THIS EXPERIMENT]

[So instead he'll address the second part. Old man? Really? Okay, it was better than being called kid, BUT-!!!]

My name is Allen.

But I'm glad you found a friend of yours, Zoro. Are you going to his ship? [And not you know, going to try to live on the moon?]

[stopbleeding]

[It's valid research.]

Yeah, probably. Not sure if that's against some weird space code or whatever. I'll probably need to find out. [So he doesn't shame his name!! It's very important. Manly things, you wouldn't know, Allen.]

You'll be alright without me. Even if you aren't licensed. [Oh. Wait. He turns to Chopper.] Can you help him with that?

[tsundeere]

Hmm, he's not licensed?

[It's hard to tell what Chopper's blank stare really means, but it could be silently judging. It could. He's smiling anyway, tapping his cheek with his free hoof.]

I can't get him a license, but I could give him some tips! Are you training to be a doctor, Allen?

[save_the_souls]

It's not, don't worry. You just have to fill out a ship transfer form. It'd go through the next time there's a Shuffle.

[But oh, they're talking about his medical skills. He wrings his hands and turns to look at the...reindeer? Which yeah, not surprised he can't license him.]

Ah- yes, Dr. Chopper. I'm still a student, or...was a student in the last place I was at. But then when I got brought here, they just...assigned me to the medical lab on my own.

[stopbleeding]

[Zoro nods.] Alright, I'll do that then. [Can you even read the form, Zoro.

Anyway, he's contemplating Allen's story.] A student, huh?

[He glances to Chopper again.] If they gave him his own lab does that mean he's good?

[tsundeere]

You got your own medical lab even if you're not a real doctor?! That's so cooooooool!

[He's practically got sparkles in his eyes. When Zoro asks the question, he nods a few times.]

Yeah! Or, well, maybe! He could be a prodigy! Maybe there's countless files of medical knowledge hidden in his brain that he just has to unlock!

[But then he pauses, looking more curious and less excited.]

...But when I came to, I suddenly understood how to work weird technology I've never seen before! It wouldn't be a stretch to say they could make just anyone know anything.

[save_the_souls]

[Allen meanwhile frowns slightly at that. He knows he's not a prodigy, even if Chopper's excitement at him is nice to see. But he damn well knew he wasn't a data storage unit either. So Allen shakes his head]

Not really. The medical information they upload into the augment is basic, it's practically first aid level. It also does nothing regarding procedural memory and motor skills.

[He gives a little sigh. He might as well say the truth]

I'm...not a prodigy, not by any means. And I'm fairly certain they hand out positions to anyone. I don't think Atroma cares if we're qualified or not.

But I will say I've been studying and helping in clinics for years, and I'm a hard worker. There's barely any healers and you're the first actual doctor we've had in the fleet. So...yes, I do what I can to help out, even if I don't have a license. I doubt there is a way to get licensed out here anyway. [Or that they really care]

Video

[alwayscomeback]

Sokka. Soh-ka.

[Wow, they really are sucking at keeping the newbies aboard the Blue Fish right now. ]

So long as you're safe, right?

...And thanks for that fascinating lesson in underwear. No. Really.

Video

[tsundeere]

Wow, Zoro! You made more than one friend!

Hi, Sokka! I remember you. I didn't know you had met Zoro! Was he nice?

[alwayscomeback]

He tried to destroy the sculpture I made of my girlfriend.

But I guess he was less of a jerk than the last guy, so.

How're you doing, Little Reindeer?

Video

[goldenglasses]

[What. Seriously?]

Have you tried running around naked yet? If underwear slowed you down, I wonder how much the rest of your clothes slow you down.

[Said oh, so, deadpanned. He probably shouldn't as he gets a good feeling these two might actually try it. But at least they're not on HIS ship.]

And have you tried it on different planets? Maybe the gravity makes a difference!

[Then he mutters to himself, but if they listen carefully they should be able to hear it.]

How do you time it as close to a half a second anyway?

[stopbleeding]

That's what I said. Shitty sculptor. [HEH. he's an asshole.]

You're welcome, by the way. It's important information. He's not wrong in that it could save your skin.

[stopbleeding]

You could've just said you were good.

[stopbleeding]

You're right. I hadn't thought...

[LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE. He turns to Chopper.]

Oi, Chopper. Move a bit. I need to take this off.

[don't do it on camera zoro]

[tsundeere]

[He remembered he was a reindeer! Nevermind that it was mentioned in this very post.]

My name is Chopper! [In case he forgot that, too.] Zoro is a nice guy, really! He can be a little rough, but if you get past that, he's got a really kind heart!

Is your sculpture okay?

[tsundeere]

Huh? Huh?

[He's looking between Vash on the screen and Zoro, and slowly panic builds to his face. Desperately, he clings to Zoro's face.]

AhhHHH WAIT! WAIT! ISN'T THAT GOING TOO FAR?! There are cameras everywhere, Zoro!

[tsundeere]

[DON'T BE RUDE ZORO. Chopper, at least, seems interested for all of this. He's got that hoof on his cheek, nodding thoughtfully after each sentence. After Zoro speaks, he just smiles, perking up.]

I believe in you, Allen! Anyone can help if they put their heart into it. I'll do what I can to help you with any questions you might have!

1/2

[save_the_souls]

[He gives an annoyed noise and rolls his eyes at Zoro. SO RUDE. Especially since he's sure this dude would be the first one calling him a scam-artist if he just said he was good.]

Oh yes. Because you'd take my word for it I'm sure.

[...Though okay he is a scam-artist, that much is true. JUST NOT WHEN IT COMES TO MEDICINE!!]

[save_the_souls]

[But still, he then looks at Chopper and smiles. He's relieved, half expecting to be told not to ever do stuff again. Chopper you a good dude]

Ah, thank you, Dr. Chopper! I know I still have a lot to learn, so I'd really be grateful for a chance to ask questions!

[alwayscomeback]

Yeah, I remember. Thanks. And I'm sure he's the bestest best best guy ever. [Such sarcasm. ]

Yeah, it's fine. I managed to save it.

[alwayscomeback]

Ha ha. You're a riot.

I'm pretty sure it won't. Like, ever.

[stopbleeding]

[look at that fucking shoujo look he's giving chopper. That's just freaky.]

Oi, how come he gets the nice guy treatment?

[he hasn't even done anything to you bro give him the shoujo eyes too]

[stopbleeding]

Only if you're too slow for it to matter. You should work on that.

[alwayscomeback]

I'm plenty fast!!!! [Squeaky, undignified yelping!]

[tsundeere]

[What is sarcasm.]

Yeah, that's right, he is! But I'm glad to hear that! If you let him know it's important, he won't mess with it. I'm sure you noticed that, too.