driftfleet | Iskaulit Mingle

[Sometimes when you need to open up and it feels like there's no one to turn to you just need to pick anyone without thinking too hard about it and talk. Or maybe that's just what Kitty does and it isn't the best scenario for a lot of reasons, but sometimes it builds those deeper bonds quickly too.]

I know it's not what you wanted to find or expected, but I am happy and he treats me well and I hope I do the same for him. [And she has called Winn the love of her life, but she doesn't think repeating that to Chekov feels like the kindest of ideas.] Always being with me might be an over promise considering we don't exactly control our destinies in here, but I hope so.

[She knows there is a certain amount of peace that comes with knowing someone you love is happy and safe even if it isn't with you, but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like hell that it isn't with you.]

[Confiding in someone without knowing them well isn't something that Chekov is about to do on purpose. Turns out that the one person here he's fallen into that trap with was Winn's best friend. Never again! Unless it happens accidentally. It's not like he's good at not talking once he gets going.]

I have no doubt that you do, and he wouldn't talk about you the way that he does if you didn't. [Her discretion is appreciated. Knowing it doesn't hurt as much as hearing it.] Someone who wants to stay with you, anyway. That's important, that intention.

[In that way, at least, this is better than what happened with Lucy. Lucy chose to return to a world where she didn't have much of anything (which never did make sense to him, and makes even less sense now). Kitty is happy and she likely has a future with someone who loves her, and God knows that she more than deserves that. It shouldn't hurt as much as it does when she's winning after so much losing.]

I know it's not the same, but for what it's worth... I want to stay with you too. I mean, I want to do it in the way where you'd come to National City too which is not your life or your world, but I don't like the thought of losing you again. So, if you got sick of space travel and you wanted a different start to go with all your others then you're invited.

[He has to hug her again, sorry, he doesn't make the rules.] I don't think that the captain or Winn would care for that very much, but thank you for wanting to keep me. I don't like the thought of losing you entirely either.

[There's a special running today—unlimited hugs as long as you don't make it weird by touching something you shouldn't!]

But, hey, in "that-isn't-really-comforting news" we could end up here for the rest of our lives with none of us ever being separated and no one getting a choice in it.

[Please, as if he would. You're thinking of Kirk.]

No prison is forever. [Even the prisons that are space.] And even if this one is an exception, there would be worse things than never leaving here.

[Kirk has never been untoward to her. Much.]

Agreed. I thought I was happy in Marina a lot of the time. It was better than home. But this is better than the prison. At least most of the time. Even if better just means it messes with our heads less frequently.

[Much. It's not like the guy even does it to be a creep, it just happens.

He can't completely censor a frown since he was pretty happy in Marina. Considerably happier than he is here--which isn't hard, honestly--and happier than he would be if he went home and kept all of his memories. (And Kitty is only trying to be positive and of course she's happier here than she was in the time she remembers in the prison, but that does sting. He needs to keep reminding himself that she isn't quite his Kitty and she doesn't remember the good things that he does.)]

Not so much better when the Atroma create difficult situations to entertain an audience. [A wince. Kitty's trying to make things okay, he needs to get it together.] ...Er. But their control is more limited and they seem disinclined to changing who we are what we think regularly, so... something to be thankful for, of course.

[She sees that frown.] Hey, I didn't mean it to sound like I was never happy in Marina. I was. I just thought it was a better place than it was. And this place could use a lot of improvement too. I've just been to a lot of places that are rough on a person and this one is least so. [If you don't count her early childhood.] The people were great in Marina, and I still miss them. Winn wants to help me rescue them if we can ever rescue ourselves from here.

[He nods to show that he follows, but can't agree that this is a better prison than Marina. Even if it objectively is (and it is in a lot of ways, he realizes that), he would absolutely go back to Marina if he could.]

Even if we are able to leave here, I think that it's highly unlikely that we would be able to help them leave there. It is a nice thought.

[She would have to before Winn.]

Since when do I ever do anything unless it sounds entirely impossible? [How is that even a point, Chekov?]

I'm almost certain that you have done things that sounded perfectly possible before. [It's just such an improbable thing and Chekov's into keeping hopes and expectations realistic right now!]

Suggesting a meal doesn't count.

Iskaulit Mingle

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